Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This 1-6-1, Such, has the proper syllable count and entertains us with the seductive images and terrific guitar accompaniment. Nice.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017

Thank you, my friend,

namaste,


Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

Comment from Grasshopper2

Excellent

GBR,
Sultry, sensual, fantastic, and all those other cliches for excellence. You tied for first place! Way to go. I, the lowly Grasshopper, have never won a FanStory contest. So I, the lowly Grasshopper, do not know what it feels like to win. Except that, I, the lowly Grasshopper, has won vicariously with GBR. Well done.

Moi

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017

Thank you, my friend,

namaste,


Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

"much" indeed! The poem is short but infuses deep passion, finely enhanced by the presentation as well. I think this speaks tomes in few words. Well done. Warm tender touch. Yum.

Blessings,
rd

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017

Thank you. :) Your review is always a precious gift to me. Thank you for your kind words. The man and woman are lovers and best friends. He likes her as a dominatrix at times but it is just a game for them and often swap roles. But it could fit any situation the reader wants.

I am happy that you are reading tanka and expanding your knowledge about this beautiful poetic form. Good job, honey, I am proud of you.

Thank you for the stellar review and six stars!!!!

namaste,



Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

reply by rama devi on 26-Mar-2017

Thanks for your lovely response, dear. Warmest smiles. Namaste!

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written 1-6-1 poem and special messsage to your lover to let him know he is on your mind and that you cannot wait for his touch a very clever message.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017

Thank you very much, my friend.

namaste,



Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

A very good contest entry. I used to say I didn't do well in contests, but I can't say that anymore. I won the last one I entered.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017

thank you

Comment from nuthead

Good

That's an unusual form, and one that would be super challenging to complete. I like your sentiments in this one. Reading your author notes, one of the the criteria for this form is the three lines must rhyme. Still enjoyed it! :)

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017

Thank you, honey! I didn't read the rules right... I totally missed it. I appreciate your review and helpful feedback. :)

namaste,



Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

reply by nuthead on 24-Mar-2017

Totally something I would do. :)

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017

I rewrote the poem. Could you check it out if you have time? Thanks

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very good 1-6-1 poem you have penned with the one syllable for the first line and the meat of the second and then Yang for the last. Very good entry! Best wishes in the contest! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017

Thank you very much, my friend. Your generosity is always a precious gift to me and your feedback is extremely helpful. Thank you for the bottom of my heart.

namaste,



Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

A great description of yin and yang and the artwork, photos that accompany it are brilliant good luck for your competition, with words such as these you will do well ****kahpot

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017

Thank you very much, my friend. Your generosity is always a precious gift to me and your feedback is extremely helpful. Thank you for the bottom of my heart.

namaste,



Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

This is a lovely poem in the 1-6-1 format. Your presentation adds to the beauty and your message comes across in abundance. Thank you for sharing a piece of your relationship,
~patty~

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017

Thank you very much, my friend. Your generosity is always a precious gift to me and your feedback is extremely helpful. Thank you for the bottom of my heart.

namaste,



Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson

Exceptional

Wow! very sexy; The words the beautiful Spanish dancer with that sexy music. oh mama , hot hot hot, :)) Your man must be honored of your dedication to him.
This is a very beautiful 1-6-1 contest entry. No doubt it will do terrific in contest.
Good luck ~Kerry~

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2017

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017

Thank you very much, my friend. Your generosity is always a precious gift to me and your feedback is extremely helpful. Thank you for the bottom of my heart.

namaste,



Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~

reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 24-Mar-2017

your welcome