Tanka Waka
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "tanka (furious anger)"A collection of Japanese short poetry
24 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Tanka describing the life and character of a samurai woman. She lives with furious anger and will protect her chidren with her own life.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
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A very well-written Tanka describing the life and character of a samurai woman. She lives with furious anger and will protect her chidren with her own life.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. Your generosity is always a precious gift to me and your feedback is extremely helpful. Thank you for the bottom of my heart.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
The information you give is always so interesting, Gypsy. I enjoyed your tanka very much, it has such an exotic feel to it, and Oriental world feeling, as well as that palpable fury of the woman samurai, which I didn't know about, Giddy
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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The information you give is always so interesting, Gypsy. I enjoyed your tanka very much, it has such an exotic feel to it, and Oriental world feeling, as well as that palpable fury of the woman samurai, which I didn't know about, Giddy
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
So true and you would die to protect your loved ones. A poignant write full of strength and power, a joy to read, best regards Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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So true and you would die to protect your loved ones. A poignant write full of strength and power, a joy to read, best regards Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you, my friend, may the Goddess bless you in all you do. Your generosity is always a precious gift to me and your feedback is extremely helpful. Thank you for the bottom of my heart.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your tanka. Unfortunately I noticed in line three I could only count four syllables and in the last line I counted eight syllables. Although this still adds up to to the correct number syllables I am not sure if you were supposed to the 5-7-5-7-7 count.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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I enjoyed reading your tanka. Unfortunately I noticed in line three I could only count four syllables and in the last line I counted eight syllables. Although this still adds up to to the correct number syllables I am not sure if you were supposed to the 5-7-5-7-7 count.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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For your information = In Japan, tanka is often written in one line with segments consisting of 5-7-5-7-7 sound-symbols or syllables. Japanese syllables are shorter than English language syllables, resulting in shorter poems even though the syllable count is the same. To approximate the Japanese model, some[ poets use approximately 20-22 syllables and a short-long-short-long-long structure or even just a free form structure using five lines. ]You may wish to experiment with all these approaches. click here to read full guide to writing tanka
Comment from Lu Saluna
This is really good. I like the smooth flow of your Tanka. There is no match for a mother's rage and anger when it comes to protecting her family.
"as her blood covers the threshold" - yes, she will die saving her own family, especially her children.
Good luck my friend
hugs, Lura
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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This is really good. I like the smooth flow of your Tanka. There is no match for a mother's rage and anger when it comes to protecting her family.
"as her blood covers the threshold" - yes, she will die saving her own family, especially her children.
Good luck my friend
hugs, Lura
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my little chicky dee
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Joan E.
Your 5-7-5-7-7-5 tanka tells quite a complete story of a special woman. The final line is very dramatic, and the artwork makes a perfect compliment. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Your 5-7-5-7-7-5 tanka tells quite a complete story of a special woman. The final line is very dramatic, and the artwork makes a perfect compliment. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 23-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, wow, you are reading all my stuff... I am impressed and very grateful. big fat buddha hugs
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Ric Myworld
I would rather have 10 men mad at me, than one woman, and if this woman is a mother, I would rather have 20 mad men after me. And that's the truth. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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I would rather have 10 men mad at me, than one woman, and if this woman is a mother, I would rather have 20 mad men after me. And that's the truth. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)
Comment Written 23-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, honey
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Quantum Traveler
A Well Defined and Honorable Posting Gypsy along with Distinctive Imagery.
The Image with Verse Syncs well Portraying the Independence of a Woman's Spirit and Courage.
An Excellent Entry...I Wish You Well in the Contest...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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A Well Defined and Honorable Posting Gypsy along with Distinctive Imagery.
The Image with Verse Syncs well Portraying the Independence of a Woman's Spirit and Courage.
An Excellent Entry...I Wish You Well in the Contest...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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Wow, thank you for the six stars! Hello, my friend, your reviews are always helpful, respectful, and kind. You are a top notch reviewer and I am grateful. Your generosity is always a precious gift to me Thank you for the bottom of my heart.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
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I am quite honored Gypsy with your response...I have a soft spot in my heart for women of Courage and Spirit...I was taught well by my Irish Grandmother.
Namaste to you as well.
Comment from krys123
Gypsy;
-an interesting and very informing author's notes prepared me for understanding the tanka above which was written with such declaration of imagery that was superbly and vividly descriptive and so definitively expressive that it overwhelmed me with a visual context.
-"a mothers love" is such a superb an excellent pivot line that pulls together the 1st 2 and last 2 lines that are grammatically connected, together.
-Thank you very much for a very informative author's notes and for sharing this tanka which I truly appreciate wholeheartedly.
Alex
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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Gypsy;
-an interesting and very informing author's notes prepared me for understanding the tanka above which was written with such declaration of imagery that was superbly and vividly descriptive and so definitively expressive that it overwhelmed me with a visual context.
-"a mothers love" is such a superb an excellent pivot line that pulls together the 1st 2 and last 2 lines that are grammatically connected, together.
-Thank you very much for a very informative author's notes and for sharing this tanka which I truly appreciate wholeheartedly.
Alex
Comment Written 23-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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thank you
Comment from dragonpoet
This surely describes a mother's strong protective side about her children. She will do almost anything to keep her children safe.
This poem doesn't keep to the syllable count in the notes. This is 5/8/4/6/8.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragon
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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This surely describes a mother's strong protective side about her children. She will do almost anything to keep her children safe.
This poem doesn't keep to the syllable count in the notes. This is 5/8/4/6/8.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragon
Comment Written 23-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2017
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Hello, my friend,
The rules of 5/7/5/7/7 'on' sound units in Japanese does not translate exactly in English. English syllables are different than Japanese 'on' unit sounds.
"Think about the form or structure of your verse. In Japan, tanka is often written in one line with segments consisting of 5-7-5-7-7 sound-symbols or syllables. Some people write English tanka in five lines with 5-7-5-7-7 syllable to approximate the Japanese model. You may wish to try writing tanka in this way. But Japanese syllables are shorter than English language syllables, resulting in shorter poems even though the syllable count is the same. To approximate the Japanese model, some poets use approximately 20-22 syllables and a short-long-short-long-long structure or even just a free form structure using five lines. You may wish to experiment with all these approaches. My egret verse is free form.
click here to read more
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
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Hello, Gypsy.
Thanks for all the information.
Namaste.
Joan
