Open House
Ghosts take Open House literally.18 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a superb short story. Nicely done. Good details throughout You've set up an intriguing possibility and you did accept the invitation and followed Clary and Rupert. As for me--I love open houses. Marilyn
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2017
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This is a superb short story. Nicely done. Good details throughout You've set up an intriguing possibility and you did accept the invitation and followed Clary and Rupert. As for me--I love open houses. Marilyn
Comment Written 18-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2017
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Interesting that you should mention "Open House," Marilyn, as I went to another today. No ghosts, just clutter. Thanks for sharing my story, my friend. Rod
Comment from Rasmine
Good writing! I want to read more.
I love ghost stories. This one could go on and on. I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Good writing! I want to read more.
I love ghost stories. This one could go on and on. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much, Rasmine, for your enthusiastic response to my ghost tale. Maybe a sequel, eh?
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LOL :)
Comment from Rlegel99
Love how you set this up. Interesting story with a personal twist in the dog and narrator. Found myself wanting to read more.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Love how you set this up. Interesting story with a personal twist in the dog and narrator. Found myself wanting to read more.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you for sharing my ghost story and your kind praise. I am delighted you want to read more. I wanted to write more, but the contest has a strict max word count. However, there could be a sequel.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Beautiful story is excellent for the prompt. Very well written; excellent descriptions paint a strong mental picture. Not sure, but there seems to be a hard return at the end of Trib. (The next sentence is on the next line and indented one space.) That's it. Great job!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Beautiful story is excellent for the prompt. Very well written; excellent descriptions paint a strong mental picture. Not sure, but there seems to be a hard return at the end of Trib. (The next sentence is on the next line and indented one space.) That's it. Great job!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much, Kathleen, for your wonderful response to my ghost tale.
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You're welcome.
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:-D. You're welcome.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This is a fun and eerie tale. Delightful this early in the morning! Don't know if I would like it so much at night by myself. hahaha!
There are a couple things I noticed and thought I might point out if you don't mind?
1.) ...Oakdale is so dense that homes, trees, and nearly everything moving on the silent streets becomes invisible.
--> makes it sound like the homes and trees are also moving. REvise?
2.) I could only nod and (follow).
--> keep your verbs the same, please
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Dear Mystery Writer,
This is a fun and eerie tale. Delightful this early in the morning! Don't know if I would like it so much at night by myself. hahaha!
There are a couple things I noticed and thought I might point out if you don't mind?
1.) ...Oakdale is so dense that homes, trees, and nearly everything moving on the silent streets becomes invisible.
--> makes it sound like the homes and trees are also moving. REvise?
2.) I could only nod and (follow).
--> keep your verbs the same, please
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Hi Robyn. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read, review and comment on my ghost story. Your suggestions make sense and I shall try to revise. Many thanks.
Comment from frogbook
A lovely little story and the picture is a true favorite of mine. It was given to me with a very sweet poem after my dear companion miniature greyhound passed away. But I digress-your story is eerie but fulfilling and rather comforting. A very good write.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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A lovely little story and the picture is a true favorite of mine. It was given to me with a very sweet poem after my dear companion miniature greyhound passed away. But I digress-your story is eerie but fulfilling and rather comforting. A very good write.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I am pleased the picture brought back memories and you enjoyed my ghost tale. Thank you for sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This piece is very well written and has great atmosphere to it. the descriptions are intricate but not overdone and help greatly with setting the tone. feels like a Victorian piece which is a good thing for these type of tales.
Nice
GMG
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Hi there,
This piece is very well written and has great atmosphere to it. the descriptions are intricate but not overdone and help greatly with setting the tone. feels like a Victorian piece which is a good thing for these type of tales.
Nice
GMG
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I truly appreciate your calling my tale a "Victorian piece" as that was my intent. Thanks so much for sharing and your kind praise.
Comment from mvbrooks
Well done. The narrator seems true-to-life and is likable. The foggy day helps set the mood. While we don't meet with Ray, the current owner of the house, we meet with the dog that the narrator was so sorely missing and a little girl who, by accompanying the dog, seems to be of importance to the narrator as well. There's a sense of peace about the story as he willingly follows.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Well done. The narrator seems true-to-life and is likable. The foggy day helps set the mood. While we don't meet with Ray, the current owner of the house, we meet with the dog that the narrator was so sorely missing and a little girl who, by accompanying the dog, seems to be of importance to the narrator as well. There's a sense of peace about the story as he willingly follows.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Thank you, mybrooks, for your thoughtful appraisal of my ghost story and your kind praise. I did strive for a peaceful mood and am very pleased I succeeded.
Comment from Heidi M
Great job with this supernatural flash fiction. I like your choice of first person perspective. I didn't realize the foreshadowing of the dog having recently died. It's always nice when a man and dog are reunited. Well done!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Great job with this supernatural flash fiction. I like your choice of first person perspective. I didn't realize the foreshadowing of the dog having recently died. It's always nice when a man and dog are reunited. Well done!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Seeing this wonderful picture shortly after my dog's death inspired the tale. I am delighted you enjoyed my ghost story.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Too spooky! Did you find the artwork first and then write the story? I love this picture. I've always felt there was a tale in its vivid colors. Thank you for sharing this supernatural tale,
~patty~
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Too spooky! Did you find the artwork first and then write the story? I love this picture. I've always felt there was a tale in its vivid colors. Thank you for sharing this supernatural tale,
~patty~
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Hi Patty. I confess that the picture inspired the story. I am delighted you enjoyed my tale.
