Random Reflections.
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Resurrection of a Lost Lover."Poems of Random wandering; an inward look.
7 total reviews
Comment from JACK2
great poem that covers the the title along with a great art to enhance this great imaginary story that you tell so nicely from verse to verse great job. coop
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
great poem that covers the the title along with a great art to enhance this great imaginary story that you tell so nicely from verse to verse great job. coop
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
-
Thanks Jack. I appreciate your comments and encouraging rating. It was a difficult task to express such feelings without being excessively morbid. Best wishes and regards.
Arun
-
you are welcome friend. coop
-
Hope you will review more of my works. Take care.
-
My pleasure have a great day. coop
-
Likewise. Thanks.
Comment from Thal1959
I will give this five stars, though it could be a four star write. It is difficult to determine errant grammar from poetic license. Allow me to show you a few examples:
"Then in one fateful day, all disappeared, you were gone. Should be "on one fateful day..."
"Without the tress, without a good byes, like mortals would." The words "a good byes" is contradictory. "a" indicates singular, "byes" indicates plural. Should be either "a good-bye" (please not the hyphen), or, drop the "a" --- "without good-byes..."
"Distraught, for months and end, in searche of your place," Search is misspelled - drop the last "e."
"I am pushing my days to the ultimate vault; a walking corps." The word "corps" should be "corpse."
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
I will give this five stars, though it could be a four star write. It is difficult to determine errant grammar from poetic license. Allow me to show you a few examples:
"Then in one fateful day, all disappeared, you were gone. Should be "on one fateful day..."
"Without the tress, without a good byes, like mortals would." The words "a good byes" is contradictory. "a" indicates singular, "byes" indicates plural. Should be either "a good-bye" (please not the hyphen), or, drop the "a" --- "without good-byes..."
"Distraught, for months and end, in searche of your place," Search is misspelled - drop the last "e."
"I am pushing my days to the ultimate vault; a walking corps." The word "corps" should be "corpse."
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
-
Thanks for your valuable help. I am realizing that with age, my language skills are deteriorating and eyes are not catching obvious errors caused by changing phrases such as the 'in' left over from earlier phrase when I made changes in the poem. Same with the extra 'e'. I appreciate your assistance in this quarter. Thanks for your generous rating. I am editing the poem. Best regards and wishes.
Arun
-
No problem, you are welcome - and thanks for being so understanding.
-
I must have the understanding of my limitations to improve performances.
Comment from Mustang Patty
It seems so sad that these memories would come to one who is getting ready to leave their earthly body. I would hope it is the good memories that gather round me as I lay on my death bed. The story told within the lines of the poem is a good one, but some of the wording doesn't quite fit, and it seems words have been forced to fit into the pattern,
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
It seems so sad that these memories would come to one who is getting ready to leave their earthly body. I would hope it is the good memories that gather round me as I lay on my death bed. The story told within the lines of the poem is a good one, but some of the wording doesn't quite fit, and it seems words have been forced to fit into the pattern,
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
-
Thanks for your insight. I will do better next time.
Comment from dmt1967
This is a very good story in a poem but a bit long-winded for me. It also seemed a bit flat in the middle. It reminded me of a play of long ago in a far off land. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
This is a very good story in a poem but a bit long-winded for me. It also seemed a bit flat in the middle. It reminded me of a play of long ago in a far off land. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
-
Indeed it is a long poem but that is the only way I could shape it to make a poem rather than a prose. I wonder if you could share the name of the play you mentioned. I appreciate your comments and rating. Thanks. My best wishes and regards.
Arun
-
The duchess of Malfi.
-
Thanks. I would like to read that.
Comment from suzterus
This was a wonderful analogy with great descriptions. I found this well thought out with strong and powerful words without being overly complicated. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
This was a wonderful analogy with great descriptions. I found this well thought out with strong and powerful words without being overly complicated. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
-
I appreciate your comment and glad that message I wished would come through di come out in the poem. I struggled with the thoughts and had to write on a paper two different versions of the same theme. My best regards and wishes.
Arun
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Here the poet handles the feelings towards betrayed love and there is resurrection of a lost lover, allegorical treat fits in with that of Jesus, I liked and enjoyed the free flow of thoughts in imagery and I can relate to the facts and feelings and emotions in different perspectives.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
Here the poet handles the feelings towards betrayed love and there is resurrection of a lost lover, allegorical treat fits in with that of Jesus, I liked and enjoyed the free flow of thoughts in imagery and I can relate to the facts and feelings and emotions in different perspectives.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
-
You are on the mark about the life of Jesus. His life inspires me in many ways. For a long time I struggled with the emotions and eventually became peaceful and forgiving. Many thanks for sharing your thoughts. Please visit my profile and read other poems in the Anthology - the Random Reflections. Best regards and wishes.
Arun
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'm glad it ended like it should. For a while I was afraid something awful would happen when he opened that grave, which of course I knew he would. In XIII, amber should be ember.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
I'm glad it ended like it should. For a while I was afraid something awful would happen when he opened that grave, which of course I knew he would. In XIII, amber should be ember.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
-
Thanks Cindy. I am losing the ability to spell and Spell Check does not catch such errors. Any suggestions for improving are most welcome. I am editing that. Thanks for your encouraging comments. Best wishes and regards.
Arun