The Bees
A story poem in ballad measure39 total reviews
Comment from strandregs
Poor bees. They met their squeeze.
no more sweet peas
Nor pollen kneez
to feed the queen
That eats no cheese
Because she got a dreadful wheeze
last time she tried some
cheddar cheese.
lovely roll you told of beeze
A yellow breeze of nature
destroyed by man.
naughty naughty.
:-)) Z.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Poor bees. They met their squeeze.
no more sweet peas
Nor pollen kneez
to feed the queen
That eats no cheese
Because she got a dreadful wheeze
last time she tried some
cheddar cheese.
lovely roll you told of beeze
A yellow breeze of nature
destroyed by man.
naughty naughty.
:-)) Z.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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A response sweet as honey and one that gave me quite a buzz.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved this poem, especially the last line, great rhymes and you held my interest throughout, a great contest entry and I wish you luck! You certainly entertained me about the bees antics ð???! Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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I loved this poem, especially the last line, great rhymes and you held my interest throughout, a great contest entry and I wish you luck! You certainly entertained me about the bees antics ð???! Love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks, Dolly. Glad you enjoyed it. Tony
Comment from sunnilicious
I use to love eating honey combs in the sue bee bottle, but the sight of a bee brought out the swatter. I probably never killed 1 either. Yeah, but I am completely okay with your insect genocides. It's probably a norm in harvested honey. Don't feel guilt. Great work. Have a nice week :)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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I use to love eating honey combs in the sue bee bottle, but the sight of a bee brought out the swatter. I probably never killed 1 either. Yeah, but I am completely okay with your insect genocides. It's probably a norm in harvested honey. Don't feel guilt. Great work. Have a nice week :)
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Very many thanks for your lovely review, Sunnilicious, and the six shining stars - they gave me quite a buzz!
Comment from MaggieF
Hi, loved this poem, with your words I could imagine the busy bees pollinating the plants, living in the derelict house in the first eight stanzas, The remaining stanzas are not quite so upbeat, comparing the killing of the bees to the slaughter, extermination of man in our many wars. MaggieF
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Hi, loved this poem, with your words I could imagine the busy bees pollinating the plants, living in the derelict house in the first eight stanzas, The remaining stanzas are not quite so upbeat, comparing the killing of the bees to the slaughter, extermination of man in our many wars. MaggieF
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, Maggie. I very much appreciate your comments. You are right - this bucolic scene took a nasty turn. All the best, Tony
Comment from suzterus
I really like the analogy here and how you use strong descriptions without being overly complicated. I love the phrase ,
"And here they built a miracle,
social interstices,
a harmony of fellowship
a testament to peace."
Good Job!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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I really like the analogy here and how you use strong descriptions without being overly complicated. I love the phrase ,
"And here they built a miracle,
social interstices,
a harmony of fellowship
a testament to peace."
Good Job!
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks for dropping by to review, suzterus. So glad to hear that you enjoyed my poem Best wishes, Tony
Comment from royowen
We have a hive in an aperture to our house, and one misplaced, or is that miscreant bee found a home for her sting in my foot, I'd forgotten how much and for how long they hurt, so there's something in parallel with your great ballad Tony. We have contemplated contacting an apiarist, but to no avail as yet. A beautiful example of an epic ballad, articulate, (I had t scurry for a dictionary a couple of times) so well done, I like it when that happens, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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We have a hive in an aperture to our house, and one misplaced, or is that miscreant bee found a home for her sting in my foot, I'd forgotten how much and for how long they hurt, so there's something in parallel with your great ballad Tony. We have contemplated contacting an apiarist, but to no avail as yet. A beautiful example of an epic ballad, articulate, (I had t scurry for a dictionary a couple of times) so well done, I like it when that happens, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Many thanks for your review, Roy, and your personal comments. I remember years ago when I lived in a little Cotswold stone cottage in the west country of England, we had bees in the wall. They must have been there for years, but did no harm and we were happy to leave them there. This, however, was a more difficult problem, as they were adjacent to the stables and bees and horses don't mix very well.
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Well done
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
What an absolutely fantastic moral to go with the entry to the contest. A dramatic story in a poem that also goes for man today. We don't want them so exterminate, the same with the genocide that is today. Absolutley great piece
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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What an absolutely fantastic moral to go with the entry to the contest. A dramatic story in a poem that also goes for man today. We don't want them so exterminate, the same with the genocide that is today. Absolutley great piece
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, Barb. I very much appreciate your comments and six stars. They gave me quite a buzz! All the best, Tony
Comment from judsmith
Wow, this was well done. Your vocabulary is exceptional and you used it brilliantly to tell your story of this woebegone hive and their sad fate. And tying it into nations at war was a clever connection and suitable ending. I had to re-read a few lines to make sure I understood your meaning, but that is probably due more to my slow mind than any shortfall in your poetry skills. Good read, well done. Respectfully, Jud Smith
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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Wow, this was well done. Your vocabulary is exceptional and you used it brilliantly to tell your story of this woebegone hive and their sad fate. And tying it into nations at war was a clever connection and suitable ending. I had to re-read a few lines to make sure I understood your meaning, but that is probably due more to my slow mind than any shortfall in your poetry skills. Good read, well done. Respectfully, Jud Smith
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, Jud. I very much appreciate your kind comments. All the best, Tony
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A very well written poem, my friend. I have an intense fear of bees from stepping on a bee barefoot when I was four. I know they are essential, but I still cringe when I see one. I bet your beekeeper was not a happy camper~Debbie
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reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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A very well written poem, my friend. I have an intense fear of bees from stepping on a bee barefoot when I was four. I know they are essential, but I still cringe when I see one. I bet your beekeeper was not a happy camper~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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I'm sorry to hear of your phobia, Debbie. They are wonderful little creatures. Yes, we were both sad not to have been able to save this swarm. I should have acted much earlier.
