The Bees
A story poem in ballad measure39 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Tony no sixes left but your by prowess .What a great read and how sad that the hard working bees had to be exterminated. It makes one reflect on the work they do and I really enjoyed you even meter and rhyme that created this story in a poem. Good luck with the contest it should do well Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Hi Tony no sixes left but your by prowess .What a great read and how sad that the hard working bees had to be exterminated. It makes one reflect on the work they do and I really enjoyed you even meter and rhyme that created this story in a poem. Good luck with the contest it should do well Cheers Christine
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this and for the virtual stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from webfoot
the rhyme and "old fashioned" feel of this poem is very nice. It romps along at a good pace. I feel it is a reminder of the traditional ballads that were typically of unknown authorship, being passed orally as part of the folk culture.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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the rhyme and "old fashioned" feel of this poem is very nice. It romps along at a good pace. I feel it is a reminder of the traditional ballads that were typically of unknown authorship, being passed orally as part of the folk culture.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Webfoot, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
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very welcome tfawcus
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, this is thrilling to read and contemplate. A story told so well, that we can all relate. I love the crescendo at the end, the last four lines are breathtaking. "It's just in scale this differs from the horrors we create..." I thought this poem was going to be about the extermination of the bee population by pesticides. But, it was, and so much more, besides! The poetic story is told with finesse' and deliberation. You had me on the end of my seat. The choices we make have big consequences. You've shown that in this story. The word choices are entertaining and the rhymes are very effective. I love the story and the moral of the story, as much, if not more.
Thank you for telling it straight from the hip.
Your friend, Jesse
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Wow, this is thrilling to read and contemplate. A story told so well, that we can all relate. I love the crescendo at the end, the last four lines are breathtaking. "It's just in scale this differs from the horrors we create..." I thought this poem was going to be about the extermination of the bee population by pesticides. But, it was, and so much more, besides! The poetic story is told with finesse' and deliberation. You had me on the end of my seat. The choices we make have big consequences. You've shown that in this story. The word choices are entertaining and the rhymes are very effective. I love the story and the moral of the story, as much, if not more.
Thank you for telling it straight from the hip.
Your friend, Jesse
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Jesse, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
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I love reading your work. It is always a pleasure.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Tony. Outstanding poetry here, my friend. Your images throughout are perfection and the rhythmic flowing of the entire piece is commendable indeed, my friend.
I liked this stanza in particular:
"And here they built a miracle,
social interstices,
a harmony of fellowship
a testament to peace."
Bless you what a great job. Bob
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Hi, Tony. Outstanding poetry here, my friend. Your images throughout are perfection and the rhythmic flowing of the entire piece is commendable indeed, my friend.
I liked this stanza in particular:
"And here they built a miracle,
social interstices,
a harmony of fellowship
a testament to peace."
Bless you what a great job. Bob
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, Bob. I very much appreciate your comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Tony:
What an interesting presentation for a story in a poem. You've poetically woven the tale of the bees adapting this house as they would a hive. The twist at the end, a comparison of eradicating the bee infestation to the culmination of these two stanzas:
I could not look Him in the eye.
I hung my head in shame.
A miniature decision made,
for which I take the blame.
It's just in scale this differs from
the horrors we create
when nations make their fearful choice.
Attack! Exterminate!
What a powerful piece! Good luck in the contest.
Kim
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Hi Tony:
What an interesting presentation for a story in a poem. You've poetically woven the tale of the bees adapting this house as they would a hive. The twist at the end, a comparison of eradicating the bee infestation to the culmination of these two stanzas:
I could not look Him in the eye.
I hung my head in shame.
A miniature decision made,
for which I take the blame.
It's just in scale this differs from
the horrors we create
when nations make their fearful choice.
Attack! Exterminate!
What a powerful piece! Good luck in the contest.
Kim
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, Kim. I very much appreciate your comments and good luck wishes. All the best, Tony
Comment from country ranch writer
It is a crying shame they couldn't be removed to another place before being destroyed by chemicals it makes me sad.we need bees for our flowers and vegetables.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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It is a crying shame they couldn't be removed to another place before being destroyed by chemicals it makes me sad.we need bees for our flowers and vegetables.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, CRW, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
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Smiles
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am highly allergic to bees, but that being said I know the important bees are to our environment. Your poem/story is extremely well written. My dad tried bees once he retired. His keep getting some type of inflection and he was always giving them antibiotics.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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I am highly allergic to bees, but that being said I know the important bees are to our environment. Your poem/story is extremely well written. My dad tried bees once he retired. His keep getting some type of inflection and he was always giving them antibiotics.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Barbara, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. I was interested to read about your father. Bee keeping can be a tricky business. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Hitcher
This is a very good poem for the tell a story in poem contest friend. I loved the rhythm and the rhyme, the visuals and the underlying message. A refined read, good luck with it!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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This is a very good poem for the tell a story in poem contest friend. I loved the rhythm and the rhyme, the visuals and the underlying message. A refined read, good luck with it!
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, Hitcher. I very much appreciate your comments and good luck wishes. All the best, Tony
Comment from lyenochka
Wow, that is convicting. On one hand, we value our bee friends and all that they do in pollination. On the other, if they make their abode in our own houses, we may have to take drastic measures. Although in some of our states, it is illegal to kill bees and they need to move them carefully. Then the broader perspective on the human level is a powerful one. Fear drives humans to do horrible things.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Wow, that is convicting. On one hand, we value our bee friends and all that they do in pollination. On the other, if they make their abode in our own houses, we may have to take drastic measures. Although in some of our states, it is illegal to kill bees and they need to move them carefully. Then the broader perspective on the human level is a powerful one. Fear drives humans to do horrible things.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, Lyenochka. I very much appreciate your comments. Yes, here too, killing bees is only done as a last resort. Always sad, especially in view of their dwindling numbers worldwide. All the best, Tony
Comment from Irish Rain
A WONDROUS story in a poem. I am in awe. You've done great justice to these dear bee's. I am guilty of this myself, this fearful extermination. Great analogy between this, and nations, where perhaps we view each other as no more than bothersome buzz. Loved this, blessings...
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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A WONDROUS story in a poem. I am in awe. You've done great justice to these dear bee's. I am guilty of this myself, this fearful extermination. Great analogy between this, and nations, where perhaps we view each other as no more than bothersome buzz. Loved this, blessings...
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks, Irish Rain, for your comments and for the six stars - a real buzz and by no means bothersome!
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You are most welcome!!
