The Bees
A story poem in ballad measure39 total reviews
Comment from artemis53
What an outstanding piece. The bees and our present life compared is a very covert analogy but excellent. Who really owned the house as well as this world.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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What an outstanding piece. The bees and our present life compared is a very covert analogy but excellent. Who really owned the house as well as this world.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I always appreciate your dropping by to review, Artemis. Thank you! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Glory and pride matter, labour and cooperation in creation, but there is loss of resources and no proper security measure for protection of the beehives, poet says and warns us the value and gravity, I liked the work having imagery plenty; it strikes heart to a feeling of creation and protection.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Glory and pride matter, labour and cooperation in creation, but there is loss of resources and no proper security measure for protection of the beehives, poet says and warns us the value and gravity, I liked the work having imagery plenty; it strikes heart to a feeling of creation and protection.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Many thanks for dropping by to review, Alcreator. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed my poem. All the best, Tony
Comment from Susanjohn
Tony!!! Just an amazing piece!....I was totally enthralled with the story!!..and the sad ending!!..but omgoodness did you capture my attention!!!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Tony!!! Just an amazing piece!....I was totally enthralled with the story!!..and the sad ending!!..but omgoodness did you capture my attention!!!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Susan, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Exceptional, Tony;
-I thought I was going to enter the contest but after reading this I think I'm going to bow out.
-This has to be the most truthful and yet negative aspects of human behavior and I can contest that I was just the one who did this to the bees one day when they infested my house. Unbeknownst to them that they were making their home in my home and what's to say is mine?
-Excellent meter and rhythm with the rhyming was most exceptionally written and most contingent and supported to the meaning and concept of each and every line therefore making the rhythm to flow fluidly.
-Good luck in the contest for there is no doubt that this may win.
Alex
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Exceptional, Tony;
-I thought I was going to enter the contest but after reading this I think I'm going to bow out.
-This has to be the most truthful and yet negative aspects of human behavior and I can contest that I was just the one who did this to the bees one day when they infested my house. Unbeknownst to them that they were making their home in my home and what's to say is mine?
-Excellent meter and rhythm with the rhyming was most exceptionally written and most contingent and supported to the meaning and concept of each and every line therefore making the rhythm to flow fluidly.
-Good luck in the contest for there is no doubt that this may win.
Alex
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Alex, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
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Your poem should give her the justice that she more than likely deserves as your poem was written exceptionally well and formulated a decisive conceptual theme. You are very welcome my dear friend.
Alex
Comment from nancy_e_davis
How sad. Look at all the hard work!
"And why, I pray? Was it for fear
that they might sting your pride,
enclosing them in toxic space -
apian genocide?"
Did you know that Honey doesn't spoil. If it should crystallize you can heat it and revive it.
Amazing stuff. Well done Tony. Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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How sad. Look at all the hard work!
"And why, I pray? Was it for fear
that they might sting your pride,
enclosing them in toxic space -
apian genocide?"
Did you know that Honey doesn't spoil. If it should crystallize you can heat it and revive it.
Amazing stuff. Well done Tony. Nancy
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Many thanks fr your review, Nancy. Yes, I have heard that about honey - and more recently learnt that locally produced honey can act as an inhibitor of hay fever.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. The bees find a place where they can build their hive in an old house where the danger us that they can attack humans. To remove the bees cost their lives at the end.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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A very well-written poem. The bees find a place where they can build their hive in an old house where the danger us that they can attack humans. To remove the bees cost their lives at the end.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks, Sandra. An accurate summary of the gist of my poem. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Situated where it was that swarm would have been impossible to collect. I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of this poem from the ballad meter deviously substituted in the line social interstices (iambic only for the West Indians), to the lovely new word "hexagonies2 that crowds so much meaning under its six sectored umbrella. The dressing down you get from "the maker of the bee" is brilliantly handled. This just has to be a six.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Situated where it was that swarm would have been impossible to collect. I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of this poem from the ballad meter deviously substituted in the line social interstices (iambic only for the West Indians), to the lovely new word "hexagonies2 that crowds so much meaning under its six sectored umbrella. The dressing down you get from "the maker of the bee" is brilliantly handled. This just has to be a six.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Jim, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mark Valentine
With some poems, one pauses a bit before deciding whether or not to use a six on them - this was a no-brainer. What a superbly crafted allegory. The care you took in describing what went into creating the bee community highlighted the tragedy of its thoughtless destruction.
I just re-watched the movie "Lincoln" yesterday (if you haven't seen it, the movie focuses on the effort to pass the amendment to the US constitution that outlawed slavery) - it seems to me that the moral of that movie and your pome are similar - it's always a good idea to pause from your labors and ask yourself "How would this look from God's perspective?". This is a profound, thought-provoking poem that will go on the shelf.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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With some poems, one pauses a bit before deciding whether or not to use a six on them - this was a no-brainer. What a superbly crafted allegory. The care you took in describing what went into creating the bee community highlighted the tragedy of its thoughtless destruction.
I just re-watched the movie "Lincoln" yesterday (if you haven't seen it, the movie focuses on the effort to pass the amendment to the US constitution that outlawed slavery) - it seems to me that the moral of that movie and your pome are similar - it's always a good idea to pause from your labors and ask yourself "How would this look from God's perspective?". This is a profound, thought-provoking poem that will go on the shelf.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Mark, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hello, Tony.
With words used such as "hexagonies," "glissade" and "apian genocide", how could one go wrong when writing a poem?
Very good rhythm and rhyme from Alpha to Omega.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Hello, Tony.
With words used such as "hexagonies," "glissade" and "apian genocide", how could one go wrong when writing a poem?
Very good rhythm and rhyme from Alpha to Omega.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks, Dean. I am becoming a master of the abstruse!
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Tony - oh this is so sad, my kids were always after me to get a bee hive at Bon Echo. They are champions at "saving the bees". I've planted more wild flowers that I can even count to help the bees, all becuase my kids are passionate about the survival of the bees. My children are wise, if we lose the bees - we are in grave trouble.
A wonderfully penned piece - but how it made me ache in the end.
Smooth flowing lines and easy rhyme which I always love in your work.
Thanks for sharing.
m
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Dear Tony - oh this is so sad, my kids were always after me to get a bee hive at Bon Echo. They are champions at "saving the bees". I've planted more wild flowers that I can even count to help the bees, all becuase my kids are passionate about the survival of the bees. My children are wise, if we lose the bees - we are in grave trouble.
A wonderfully penned piece - but how it made me ache in the end.
Smooth flowing lines and easy rhyme which I always love in your work.
Thanks for sharing.
m
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this, Maureen, and for the accolade of stars - they gave me a real buzz! Glad you enjoyed the poem. My daughter spent some time photographing the devastation for an upcoming exhibition and I wrote this to support her work. Our children have much wisdom. Best wishes, Tony
