Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "haiku (kids cannonball)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
41 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This haiku really says summer. I love the reference to school's out--now that is when summer begins.
Good job on the style of the haiku. Your words were fun to read & do create a picture in readers' minds--even if no picture is posted along with your words.
Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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This haiku really says summer. I love the reference to school's out--now that is when summer begins.
Good job on the style of the haiku. Your words were fun to read & do create a picture in readers' minds--even if no picture is posted along with your words.
Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, Jan. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Sis Cat
Wow! This is a great, vivid summer haiku. No picture is needed. I can see the kids swinging off of a rope over the lake's edge and cannonballing into the water as they enjoy summer: "school's out." This is a most fine haiku about your memory. You executed the children's playfulness and freedom perfectly.
Thank you for sharing. I hope this gets in the book.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Wow! This is a great, vivid summer haiku. No picture is needed. I can see the kids swinging off of a rope over the lake's edge and cannonballing into the water as they enjoy summer: "school's out." This is a most fine haiku about your memory. You executed the children's playfulness and freedom perfectly.
Thank you for sharing. I hope this gets in the book.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, Sis Cat. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response, and glad you enjoyed the imagery.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Jay Squires
My dear Karyn. There are a few keys to this haiku that resonate with me. The first is your choice of the word "cannonball." That swimming activity defines boys and splashing and being a bit of a nuisance. Sorry, but cannonballs aren't a girl thing. And when you combine cannonball with the end of school ... oh, girl, you hit a titillating nerve.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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My dear Karyn. There are a few keys to this haiku that resonate with me. The first is your choice of the word "cannonball." That swimming activity defines boys and splashing and being a bit of a nuisance. Sorry, but cannonballs aren't a girl thing. And when you combine cannonball with the end of school ... oh, girl, you hit a titillating nerve.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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What an awesome review, Jay. I love hitting those titillating nerves of yours! LOL
Thanks so much for your review and comments for this summer haiku. I do a happy dance when you have the time to read and review any post of mine.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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You are too sweek, Karyn.
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Is squeek a combination of sweet and squeaky? LOL :-)
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Ha-ha! You are too punny, Karyn.
Comment from tfawcus
This one certainly brings back memories for me, when we used to take the kids up the Murray River in a houseboat. With summer temperatures well over 100F the ropes slung around overhanging eucalyptus tree branches were always too great a temptation to resist!
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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This one certainly brings back memories for me, when we used to take the kids up the Murray River in a houseboat. With summer temperatures well over 100F the ropes slung around overhanging eucalyptus tree branches were always too great a temptation to resist!
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, Tony. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response, and I'm so pleased that you shared your summer memories with me.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from rama devi
Nice. Captures the scene and the tenor of it too. Good simple haiku and satori. Superb phonetics with consonance of C and K sounds. Well done.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Nice. Captures the scene and the tenor of it too. Good simple haiku and satori. Superb phonetics with consonance of C and K sounds. Well done.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, rd. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response, and so glad you enjoyed.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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:-))
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Haiku speaks memories; feeling of joy, excitement and entertainment and emotion of happiness in playing by a rope on a summer day is expressed simply in imagery, I liked.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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This Haiku speaks memories; feeling of joy, excitement and entertainment and emotion of happiness in playing by a rope on a summer day is expressed simply in imagery, I liked.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, Alcreator Litt Dear. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response, and I'm pleased you enjoyed the imagery.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from rspoet
Another fine haiku with excellent imagery and connection
Cannon balling into the lake is great.
I remember it well.
School is definitely out,
out of sight, out of mind.
Excellent haiku or senryu
RS
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Another fine haiku with excellent imagery and connection
Cannon balling into the lake is great.
I remember it well.
School is definitely out,
out of sight, out of mind.
Excellent haiku or senryu
RS
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, RS. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from mmonaghan777
Perfect! this is such a complete description of feelings, actions, and time. I hope I can write something close to that one time
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Perfect! this is such a complete description of feelings, actions, and time. I hope I can write something close to that one time
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, mmonaghan. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
Haha, school days the most special epic of life. Thankyou for this makes everyine get back to school and smike on their face.
A nice piece of work
Have a nice day
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Haha, school days the most special epic of life. Thankyou for this makes everyine get back to school and smike on their face.
A nice piece of work
Have a nice day
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, Lova Vijay Kumar. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Hitcher
You have penned an excellent Haiku here Indy, the visuals are very strong, I could almost hear the excitement, my mind flashing back to my youth and that there rope... happy times indeed! Very nice friend! It didn't need a picture at all :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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You have penned an excellent Haiku here Indy, the visuals are very strong, I could almost hear the excitement, my mind flashing back to my youth and that there rope... happy times indeed! Very nice friend! It didn't need a picture at all :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your wonderful review and comments for my summer haiku, Hitch. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Thanks for your kind response, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed the imagery and it brought some happy memories to your mind.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
