Legs
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Ball Fetcher"Follow-up to Astatula
6 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Good work again. I love the Cody stories just sorry you did not let me know they were back again. No spags and once again a great read. I have a Revived chapter up from my biography if you want to make some decent funny money.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2017
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Good work again. I love the Cody stories just sorry you did not let me know they were back again. No spags and once again a great read. I have a Revived chapter up from my biography if you want to make some decent funny money.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2017
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Will check it out and let you know what I think about it.
Comment from MTF1955
I have missed Cody. As always a great and entertaining chapter My only suggestion is this: his Dad said. I don't think you need the tag her. Great job. Mary
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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I have missed Cody. As always a great and entertaining chapter My only suggestion is this: his Dad said. I don't think you need the tag her. Great job. Mary
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Cody is back!
Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from judiverse
Cody attracts attention. He probably should be lying low after testifying in the murder case of Sharon Montoya. Being a tennis ball fetcher will really make him vulnerable. Sheriff Daniels hasn't actually said No yet. Interesting comment about his newspaper carrier job. We just have adults delivering the newspaper now. They drive around in their cars. Hope the Sheriff and Cody will be on the lookout for Cody's welfare. If he knows something about who committed the murder, he may need to be taken out. judi
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Cody attracts attention. He probably should be lying low after testifying in the murder case of Sharon Montoya. Being a tennis ball fetcher will really make him vulnerable. Sheriff Daniels hasn't actually said No yet. Interesting comment about his newspaper carrier job. We just have adults delivering the newspaper now. They drive around in their cars. Hope the Sheriff and Cody will be on the lookout for Cody's welfare. If he knows something about who committed the murder, he may need to be taken out. judi
Comment Written 11-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Cody does indeed attract attention, in more ways than one.
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You're very welcome. Happy trails. judi
Comment from Resha Caner
Is this a flashback? And so Cody is younger here than in Chapter 1? It took me awhile to grasp that. I would suggest adding some earlier clues, or it's too jarring.
It's OK to use "said" from time to time as a speech tag. Otherwise, as I mentioned before, the prose begins to appear a tad purple. Further, I suggest reducing the adverbs. It's not convincing to _tell_ me Cody replied "persuasively." Use the dialogue to _show_ me Cody is persuasive. You want me to decide he is persuasive. It doesn't work to tell me.
BTW, I have adopted kids. In my experience, despite how rough their early life may have been, and despite how much they love their adoptive family, they don't see the loss of their biological family as trivial.
It's good to get some background on Cody in this chapter. What do you think of a little foreshadowing, though? I'm wondering about the change in pace. Maybe it will work, but be sure to consider how long you think you can leave the teasers from Chapter 1 hanging.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Is this a flashback? And so Cody is younger here than in Chapter 1? It took me awhile to grasp that. I would suggest adding some earlier clues, or it's too jarring.
It's OK to use "said" from time to time as a speech tag. Otherwise, as I mentioned before, the prose begins to appear a tad purple. Further, I suggest reducing the adverbs. It's not convincing to _tell_ me Cody replied "persuasively." Use the dialogue to _show_ me Cody is persuasive. You want me to decide he is persuasive. It doesn't work to tell me.
BTW, I have adopted kids. In my experience, despite how rough their early life may have been, and despite how much they love their adoptive family, they don't see the loss of their biological family as trivial.
It's good to get some background on Cody in this chapter. What do you think of a little foreshadowing, though? I'm wondering about the change in pace. Maybe it will work, but be sure to consider how long you think you can leave the teasers from Chapter 1 hanging.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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No it is not a flashback. I can only assume that you are not familiar with this storyline.
Reading my first book Astatula will provide you the necessary information to pick up on the backstory.
Appreciate you taking the time to read this chapter and write a review.
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I see. If there was an indication this novel was part of a series, I missed it. Had I known that, I wouldn't have reviewed it, as I don't think I can give a fair critique when jumping into the middle of a story.
With that said, Cody seemed to be 13 or younger in Chapter 2. In Chapter 1, based on the way you described him (his cunning and criminal record), I had the impression he was much older than that. It is incredibly rare to put such a young child on the witness stand - especially not in such a dramatic situation where it is unlikely to get accurate testimony from them. When children are young, their evidence is often given as a statement to the court.
Regardless, I'll bow out.
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I invite you to follow along as this new book progresses.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
A very easy commonplace communication between Cody and his father making the reading seem like we are at the table eating the heart attack ready to happen and listening to the two.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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A very easy commonplace communication between Cody and his father making the reading seem like we are at the table eating the heart attack ready to happen and listening to the two.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Much more of Cody to come.
Comment from bookishfabler
First of all you are very good with description. I might have mentioned that before. But I'm a bit confused here with Cody. Last I read he was an adult in court now he's a young child.
"How many times have you been told when you arrive at a customer's house to get your laziness off your bike and walk their paper up to their porch, not throw it up there?" (MY goodness, how will he ever get all those papers if has to get off the bike each time?)
The conversation at the table reminds me of Sheriff and Opie on the Andy Giffith Show.
Hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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First of all you are very good with description. I might have mentioned that before. But I'm a bit confused here with Cody. Last I read he was an adult in court now he's a young child.
"How many times have you been told when you arrive at a customer's house to get your laziness off your bike and walk their paper up to their porch, not throw it up there?" (MY goodness, how will he ever get all those papers if has to get off the bike each time?)
The conversation at the table reminds me of Sheriff and Opie on the Andy Giffith Show.
Hugs Heidi
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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Cody is only twelve.
Because of his early life of abuse, he some times seems much more mature for his age than he actually is.
But, that is not the case.
