Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "haiku (far from floral fields)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
73 total reviews
Comment from Thal1959
Very well composed. It has a personal meaning to me. When I was a boy, after having been stung a few times by bees, I used to stomp on them when they landed on the clover. Naturally, now that I am grown up, I regret doing that. These days, there are very few bees at all throughout the year.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Very well composed. It has a personal meaning to me. When I was a boy, after having been stung a few times by bees, I used to stomp on them when they landed on the clover. Naturally, now that I am grown up, I regret doing that. These days, there are very few bees at all throughout the year.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Yes, I've been stung by bees and wasps, too, but I made a conscious choice not to stomp on a dying bee. My dog Mina made a conscious choice not to bite it. The bee bequeathed us an idea for this haiku. Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome, it's my pleasure.
Comment from Jackarrie
Hi Sis Cat,
I really like this haiku, it is inspired by a dying bee that your little dog sniffed at. The photo of the the way the bee is lying on his side is one I never saw before. A fitting scene for your well written haiku.
Well done
Mary
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Hi Sis Cat,
I really like this haiku, it is inspired by a dying bee that your little dog sniffed at. The photo of the the way the bee is lying on his side is one I never saw before. A fitting scene for your well written haiku.
Well done
Mary
Comment Written 08-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, Mary, for your review. I am glad you really like my haiku.
Comment from lyenochka
Your sensitive eye took your encounter with the bee and made this haiku. The entire first line is alliterative and the porch being a "wasteland" is appropriate for informing us of the death of this helpful little summer creature. I hope it's a normal lifespan and not prematurely ended due to disease or chemicals.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Your sensitive eye took your encounter with the bee and made this haiku. The entire first line is alliterative and the porch being a "wasteland" is appropriate for informing us of the death of this helpful little summer creature. I hope it's a normal lifespan and not prematurely ended due to disease or chemicals.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, lyenochka, for your review. I am glad you like my description of the porch being a "wasteland," although I might omit that word to simply write "a bee dies on my porch." I do not know what caused the bee's death or if it's normal.
Comment from crybry67
I really enjoyed reading your poem, especially since you have excellent use of alliteration throughout. Sometimes inspiration is found when least expected... Blessings...Christy
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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I really enjoyed reading your poem, especially since you have excellent use of alliteration throughout. Sometimes inspiration is found when least expected... Blessings...Christy
Comment Written 08-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Yes, Christy, sometimes inspiration is right at my feet. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Rlegel99
Poem about a bee dying signaling the end of summer. The poem flows well. Very descriptive of a barren porch with no food for a bee.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Poem about a bee dying signaling the end of summer. The poem flows well. Very descriptive of a barren porch with no food for a bee.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you for your review and analysis of my haiku.
Comment from Irish Rain
Aww...poor little bee!! What a talented little doggy, helping with haiku! I need one of those. This is a lovely haiku, makes me feel sorrowful, blessings....
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Aww...poor little bee!! What a talented little doggy, helping with haiku! I need one of those. This is a lovely haiku, makes me feel sorrowful, blessings....
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Yes, Irish Rain, I have a growing number of haiku generated by my dog's nose. Thank you for your review of my "lovely haiku."
Comment from nancyrabbrose
That is such a sad poem and picture. To think that the bee will not know the spring and summer. You did a great job with this haiku. Your noticing the bee while with your dog is one of the reasons I stay with Fanstory. Where else will I find people who are this sensitive and will write about those dear thoughts.
Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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That is such a sad poem and picture. To think that the bee will not know the spring and summer. You did a great job with this haiku. Your noticing the bee while with your dog is one of the reasons I stay with Fanstory. Where else will I find people who are this sensitive and will write about those dear thoughts.
Well done.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Yes, Nancy, my ideas are literally at my feet. They are not hard to find. I just have to be sensitive to the world around and within me. Thank you for your review.
Comment from nomi338
It seems that the death of a worker bee should be more dignified than his just curling up on a porch someplace and giving up the ghost. I mean he has spent the season pollinating flowers here and there, contributing to the honeypot and such. After all his hard work and dedicated service, he now lays on a dusty porch breathing his last with none of his fellows to stand around and sing like Boys 2 Men, "How do I say goodbye to what we had?" LOL.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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It seems that the death of a worker bee should be more dignified than his just curling up on a porch someplace and giving up the ghost. I mean he has spent the season pollinating flowers here and there, contributing to the honeypot and such. After all his hard work and dedicated service, he now lays on a dusty porch breathing his last with none of his fellows to stand around and sing like Boys 2 Men, "How do I say goodbye to what we had?" LOL.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Yes, nomi338, this dying worker bee id not have its fellows around him to sing "How do I say goodbye to what we had?" but the bee had me write a haiku, which was all he needed to be remembered. Thank you for your humorous review.
Comment from sue133
This is understated and, as such, is incredibly touching. You have conveyed a message in so few words and spoken about this natural phenomenum, over which we have no control, in a beautiful haiku. When I see little creatures die, it really makes me stop and think about who we really are and where on earth we are going.Thank you for writing this. Susan
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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This is understated and, as such, is incredibly touching. You have conveyed a message in so few words and spoken about this natural phenomenum, over which we have no control, in a beautiful haiku. When I see little creatures die, it really makes me stop and think about who we really are and where on earth we are going.Thank you for writing this. Susan
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Yes, Susan, there was nothing I could do for the little fellow, except avoid stepping on him and pausing long enough with my dog several times to get an idea for this haiku. Thank you for your review of my haiku on this natural phenomenon.
Comment from doggymad
Wonderful poem within the format of the Haiku. It surely heralds the end of summer when the bees and wasps flutter weakly against walls and window in their last dance of the year
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Wonderful poem within the format of the Haiku. It surely heralds the end of summer when the bees and wasps flutter weakly against walls and window in their last dance of the year
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Yes, Freda, these heralds are quite sad. Thank you for your review of my "wonderful poem."
