Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Chapter Sechs part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
33 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I liked the responsive chit-chat around the pool table.
Anderson seemed surprised to see Shana as he thought
she'd gone to bed -- is there to be a little romance, I wonder.
A well presented chapter, Barbara.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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I liked the responsive chit-chat around the pool table.
Anderson seemed surprised to see Shana as he thought
she'd gone to bed -- is there to be a little romance, I wonder.
A well presented chapter, Barbara.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Anderson and Shana? Hmm, now there's a thought. Moving along nicely Barbara, gathering information is definitely a good plan, and much needed seeing no one knows yet why Shana is really being followed. Another well written chapter, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Anderson and Shana? Hmm, now there's a thought. Moving along nicely Barbara, gathering information is definitely a good plan, and much needed seeing no one knows yet why Shana is really being followed. Another well written chapter, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Barbara
Loved the building intrigue in the opening part. The casual atmosphere around the pool table, the friendly banter draws the reader in. Well done.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
PS: out of 6's
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Good morning, Barbara
Loved the building intrigue in the opening part. The casual atmosphere around the pool table, the friendly banter draws the reader in. Well done.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
PS: out of 6's
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I enjoy virtual sixes too.
Comment from bookishfabler
Another great chapter. Are we finally getting to a little romance between Shana and Anderson? I knew it was coming as soon as she got into his car and you described him.
Hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Another great chapter. Are we finally getting to a little romance between Shana and Anderson? I knew it was coming as soon as she got into his car and you described him.
Hugs Heidi
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Ella25
I am getting intrigued by this story, Barbara. Well written chapter and at the end of each one I read, I look forward to reading more. Superb writing. With love, Ella
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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I am getting intrigued by this story, Barbara. Well written chapter and at the end of each one I read, I look forward to reading more. Superb writing. With love, Ella
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome, Barbara. Have a wonderful weekend. With love, Ella
Comment from Ben Colder
Left shooting a game of eight balls, perhaps she should hold off on the phone call. Some are dirty cops, not all sparkling blue. Another good one. Barbara.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Left shooting a game of eight balls, perhaps she should hold off on the phone call. Some are dirty cops, not all sparkling blue. Another good one. Barbara.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
It's always easy to resume your stories even if a chapter is skipped. Sorry I missed one...been super busy lately...can't catch up. As usual, this is well paced, driven by authentic dialog that helps augment characterization through voicing and tone as well as action tags.
*optional suggestions
"What do you think about talking to Jane's twice(-)removed second cousin?" Anderson readied his cue.
*
"The two(-)ball in the corner pocket."
*"The twelve(-)ball in the side pocket." He aimed(,) and the ball went in."
*
"I hit a nerve. The fourteen(-)ball in the corner pocket."
Good sentence mechanics and narrative details as well.
Curious where it leads...
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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It's always easy to resume your stories even if a chapter is skipped. Sorry I missed one...been super busy lately...can't catch up. As usual, this is well paced, driven by authentic dialog that helps augment characterization through voicing and tone as well as action tags.
*optional suggestions
"What do you think about talking to Jane's twice(-)removed second cousin?" Anderson readied his cue.
*
"The two(-)ball in the corner pocket."
*"The twelve(-)ball in the side pocket." He aimed(,) and the ball went in."
*
"I hit a nerve. The fourteen(-)ball in the corner pocket."
Good sentence mechanics and narrative details as well.
Curious where it leads...
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I have made the corrections. I truly appreciate the help.
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Happy to help
Comment from kathleenspalding
Good chapter - ends with a page turner! Well written
...ask Jane and Helen (to) come in...
...women. (")Jane and Helen...
You have Anderson at (his or the? - is it Philip's house? - sorry, I'm coming into the story after reading an early chapter a month or two ago) desk whispering - are the women sitting in front of the desk?
...mafia or (anyone/someone) who...
"I agree. You rack..." I don't understand the glancing at the ladies and "Those two..." part.
...ball went in.(delete quotation mark) Also, maybe talk to someone who plays pool - would it be made the shot or sank the shot or something? And the few times I've heard people calling out shots, they usually omit the "the" (just - "Two ball in the..." or "Seven in the ..."), but, that's just my limited experience, so please ignore if you've been around lots of pool players.
"Drew" - just checking - this is Anderson?
Didn't know Axel and Thor were there until they left Anderson's side, so maybe mention them & their location (and are they following him, laying, sitting, sleeping...?) closer to the beginning of the scene?
That's it. Good job! PS - No need to answer my questions - I just bring things up when I see them.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Good chapter - ends with a page turner! Well written
...ask Jane and Helen (to) come in...
...women. (")Jane and Helen...
You have Anderson at (his or the? - is it Philip's house? - sorry, I'm coming into the story after reading an early chapter a month or two ago) desk whispering - are the women sitting in front of the desk?
...mafia or (anyone/someone) who...
"I agree. You rack..." I don't understand the glancing at the ladies and "Those two..." part.
...ball went in.(delete quotation mark) Also, maybe talk to someone who plays pool - would it be made the shot or sank the shot or something? And the few times I've heard people calling out shots, they usually omit the "the" (just - "Two ball in the..." or "Seven in the ..."), but, that's just my limited experience, so please ignore if you've been around lots of pool players.
"Drew" - just checking - this is Anderson?
Didn't know Axel and Thor were there until they left Anderson's side, so maybe mention them & their location (and are they following him, laying, sitting, sleeping...?) closer to the beginning of the scene?
That's it. Good job! PS - No need to answer my questions - I just bring things up when I see them.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. Many of your questions would have been answered in previous posts. I have made the corrections.
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You're welcome
Comment from Sasha
I got a kick out of this chapter. I get confused over the second cousin twice removed relationship. I'll have to Google it to get it straight. This one was a nice pause in the intrigue. Nice to have a mental rest. I look forward to reading the next chapter... maybe I'll have the second cousin twice removed all figured out by then...lol
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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I got a kick out of this chapter. I get confused over the second cousin twice removed relationship. I'll have to Google it to get it straight. This one was a nice pause in the intrigue. Nice to have a mental rest. I look forward to reading the next chapter... maybe I'll have the second cousin twice removed all figured out by then...lol
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from apky
I'm getting more and more intrigued by this story. At the end of each read, I look forward to more, or at least to the next. Just one tiny wee question: "You rack." Is that an expression, and what does it mean?
Anyway, great writing.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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I'm getting more and more intrigued by this story. At the end of each read, I look forward to more, or at least to the next. Just one tiny wee question: "You rack." Is that an expression, and what does it mean?
Anyway, great writing.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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It means to rack the pool balls up, it's a pool term. Thank you for the kind review.
