Tanka, Sometimes...
Social commentary on sentiment and emotions as we age15 total reviews
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Dawn, an excellent tanka. It has such a lonely feel to it. I love the simile and imagery you have written in the introduction first half. Aging sux but combine that with loneliness and depression - life can be tough. Thank you so much for sharing this beautifully sad tanka. ~DD
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Dawn, an excellent tanka. It has such a lonely feel to it. I love the simile and imagery you have written in the introduction first half. Aging sux but combine that with loneliness and depression - life can be tough. Thank you so much for sharing this beautifully sad tanka. ~DD
Comment Written 03-Mar-2017
Comment from Sis Cat
Strong imagery and language in an exceptional tanka that does not feel like a tanka but a message to my soul. I love your use of watercolor simile:
"like watercolor paint bleeds
on dampened paper"
I can see and feel this.
You are right--words written to touch can sear a soul.
Thank you for sharing your exceptional tanka about aging.
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Strong imagery and language in an exceptional tanka that does not feel like a tanka but a message to my soul. I love your use of watercolor simile:
"like watercolor paint bleeds
on dampened paper"
I can see and feel this.
You are right--words written to touch can sear a soul.
Thank you for sharing your exceptional tanka about aging.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2017
Comment from Quantum Traveler
An Absolutely Beautiful Painting Infused with the Articulation of Artistic Words Accentuating the Art of Ageing.
Another Excellent and Outstanding Work where Poetic Verse Paints the Image.
You Brush a Very Nice Canvas Dawn...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
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An Absolutely Beautiful Painting Infused with the Articulation of Artistic Words Accentuating the Art of Ageing.
Another Excellent and Outstanding Work where Poetic Verse Paints the Image.
You Brush a Very Nice Canvas Dawn...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes my friend this is very well written so much emotion expressed in this form you have done really well I enjoyed regards Jill
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Yes my friend this is very well written so much emotion expressed in this form you have done really well I enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi D-D,
firstly, love the opening metaphor... and unfortunately your video was blocked by copyright in this, the land of OZ... but I got the gist of the emotional faces of aging and the word that touches most of us at one time or another... 'depression'... and I guess it means and reacts differently in the minds of all who have gone into battle within a cloud of dis-eased emotion.
Hmmmmmm, does age, life, country, circumstance, chemical imbalances, or possibly the unhappiness we see in aging and the depreciation in our worth cause this down-grade in the true appreciation of what 'living' actually means? Don't know... all I do know is, identify and effect action early to rectify the cause... and the ramifications are considerably lessened in longevity of any 'mental' disturbances.
But in saying that... a dear-trusted lady of 96 years of age told me..."there's no recommendations to growing old." And yes, I must admit at this stage of my life and the condition of... I'm trying valiantly to not adhere to her wisdom.
Now, to the beauty in which this Tanka poem is written and delivered... I must say..." how does something so depleting in conclusion, sound so beautiful to the ears?
Yes dear friend, a truly sad but beautiful read... something that lingers deep in mind's eye.
With our thoughts we create,
grace in reality.
James vx's.
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Hi D-D,
firstly, love the opening metaphor... and unfortunately your video was blocked by copyright in this, the land of OZ... but I got the gist of the emotional faces of aging and the word that touches most of us at one time or another... 'depression'... and I guess it means and reacts differently in the minds of all who have gone into battle within a cloud of dis-eased emotion.
Hmmmmmm, does age, life, country, circumstance, chemical imbalances, or possibly the unhappiness we see in aging and the depreciation in our worth cause this down-grade in the true appreciation of what 'living' actually means? Don't know... all I do know is, identify and effect action early to rectify the cause... and the ramifications are considerably lessened in longevity of any 'mental' disturbances.
But in saying that... a dear-trusted lady of 96 years of age told me..."there's no recommendations to growing old." And yes, I must admit at this stage of my life and the condition of... I'm trying valiantly to not adhere to her wisdom.
Now, to the beauty in which this Tanka poem is written and delivered... I must say..." how does something so depleting in conclusion, sound so beautiful to the ears?
Yes dear friend, a truly sad but beautiful read... something that lingers deep in mind's eye.
With our thoughts we create,
grace in reality.
James vx's.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
Comment from dragonpoet
Nice done tanka which uses new and strong metaphors for aging. They create stong images and emotions.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
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Nice done tanka which uses new and strong metaphors for aging. They create stong images and emotions.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
Comment from Ulla
Dawn, you have captured this severe condition in your beautiful words. Often it's not recognised, even by those who are closest to the sufferer. I know I'm blessed that I've never had a depression in my life, but I do realise it's a crippling condition. I loved your poem. Ulla:)))
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Dawn, you have captured this severe condition in your beautiful words. Often it's not recognised, even by those who are closest to the sufferer. I know I'm blessed that I've never had a depression in my life, but I do realise it's a crippling condition. I loved your poem. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
Comment from DR DIP
Wow I love your simile and metaphor in this little write. Yep I know all about depression i have been hospitalized 3 times for it have had ECT when all else failed but always bounce back more creative.
I could relate to your words Dawn thanks for sharing
dip
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Wow I love your simile and metaphor in this little write. Yep I know all about depression i have been hospitalized 3 times for it have had ECT when all else failed but always bounce back more creative.
I could relate to your words Dawn thanks for sharing
dip
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Dawn,
You have used such contrast in your imagery in this piece. I'm thinking tears would saturate, rather than sear, but the image is so strong that it leaves exactly that impression. I think choosing the tanka form was the perfect vehicle for your message and this sentiment.
Nice job!
Kim
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Hi Dawn,
You have used such contrast in your imagery in this piece. I'm thinking tears would saturate, rather than sear, but the image is so strong that it leaves exactly that impression. I think choosing the tanka form was the perfect vehicle for your message and this sentiment.
Nice job!
Kim
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
Comment from royowen
In recent times God has been talking to me about emotions being our servants, not our masters, and were we direct our worship as to what we serve, an earthly, sensual master or a a pure heavenly one. Having had situational depression over a period of nearly Two years when young, this part of me was tested, even then there was a feeling of "blue skies" ...hope, it's when that feeling of hopelessness is there, those bleak visions of nothingness... Well done, Dawn, transitionary for me, (bit scary) how are you? God is a rock, well done, blessings, Roy
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In recent times God has been talking to me about emotions being our servants, not our masters, and were we direct our worship as to what we serve, an earthly, sensual master or a a pure heavenly one. Having had situational depression over a period of nearly Two years when young, this part of me was tested, even then there was a feeling of "blue skies" ...hope, it's when that feeling of hopelessness is there, those bleak visions of nothingness... Well done, Dawn, transitionary for me, (bit scary) how are you? God is a rock, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
