Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Ambush"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
28 total reviews
Comment from Mike Stevens
Ah, you did it again--left me hanging in mid-pissed-reading--no, another fine chapter, Rhonda, and looking forward to the exciting climax!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
  |
Ah, you did it again--left me hanging in mid-pissed-reading--no, another fine chapter, Rhonda, and looking forward to the exciting climax!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
Unfortunately, the climax. per se, is a long way away...
Thank you for your honest review!
Rhonda
Comment from MelB
This is a suspenseful and exciting chapter, ending with an ambush. The one line that stuck with me is this one - The best way to defeat an enemy is to know his heart and intentions. The book was all full of both." It made me think of Hitler and his book. His intentions were clear in the book, but very few read it and if they did, they didn't take it seriously. How things could have been different if people had.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
|
This is a suspenseful and exciting chapter, ending with an ambush. The one line that stuck with me is this one - The best way to defeat an enemy is to know his heart and intentions. The book was all full of both." It made me think of Hitler and his book. His intentions were clear in the book, but very few read it and if they did, they didn't take it seriously. How things could have been different if people had.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
I think people believe what they want to believe, and try to ignore all the signs leading up to it. Then they're like, "Oh, I never knew that was going to happen..."
Thank you for pointing the line out, and for the wonderful review,
Rhonda
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Rhonda,
I think you might have missed a trick with jumping a bit far ahead here. the revelation of the Koko & Ayala being sisters feels almost an aside here, whereas this could have been quite a dramatic event in the story.
After all three fugitives crawled out of the cave - surely all four of them are fugitives?
their mother to life giving water - perhaps life-giving here.
Very good tension punctuated with a smattering of action in this well-written chapter.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
|
Hi Rhonda,
I think you might have missed a trick with jumping a bit far ahead here. the revelation of the Koko & Ayala being sisters feels almost an aside here, whereas this could have been quite a dramatic event in the story.
After all three fugitives crawled out of the cave - surely all four of them are fugitives?
their mother to life giving water - perhaps life-giving here.
Very good tension punctuated with a smattering of action in this well-written chapter.
All the best
G
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
It's funny, but I actually had the whole sister reveal sequence written and took it out because it was so long and I was afraid people would think I overdid it. I may go back and put it back in.
You're so right on the number of people. haha.
Thank you so much,
Rhonda
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh wow it just gets better and better. You leave us wanting more. Very well written and an excellent piece of writing. Cant wait to see if they all make it
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
|
Oh wow it just gets better and better. You leave us wanting more. Very well written and an excellent piece of writing. Cant wait to see if they all make it
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing, Barb! Your support is wonderful and appreciated!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A wonderful chapter, with great action and tentsion, gripping the reader through to the end.
On both sides, Cougar guards poured out from behind bushes and boulders. It was an ambush. Archie and the girls ran. ----------
a good hook, leaving us wanting more.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
 |
A wonderful chapter, with great action and tentsion, gripping the reader through to the end.
On both sides, Cougar guards poured out from behind bushes and boulders. It was an ambush. Archie and the girls ran. ----------
a good hook, leaving us wanting more.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
Thank you so much, Margaret, for the comments and wonderful review. The six stars are a beautiful gift, and from such a wonderful writer. I am truly honored.
Have a wonderful week,
R$honda
Comment from Douglas Paul
I liked the action in this chapter. The tension level is running high with their discovery by the Cougars. You ended it well leaving us with anticipation for how they get out of the ambush. The story is flowing smoothly and is a joy to read. I saw no errors
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
|
I liked the action in this chapter. The tension level is running high with their discovery by the Cougars. You ended it well leaving us with anticipation for how they get out of the ambush. The story is flowing smoothly and is a joy to read. I saw no errors
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
Thank you so much, Douglas! You are sweet and generous, and you encourage me with your review!
Have a great week, my friend!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from mbroyles2
An excellent chapter filled with action and suspense.
The cougar kin have caught up with Archie, Sani, and the girls.
Now they have been ambushed and you left us with a great hook.
Wonderful writing from start to finish.
Michael
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
|
An excellent chapter filled with action and suspense.
The cougar kin have caught up with Archie, Sani, and the girls.
Now they have been ambushed and you left us with a great hook.
Wonderful writing from start to finish.
Michael
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Michael!! I appreciate the stars and the words. The pace is picking up a bit now with some of the back story out of the way. I'm so glad you've taken the time to review and leave your opinion and insight!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from robyn corum
Rhonda,
Great chapter. The writing was tight and well-executed, showing a firm hand and grasp of the craft. The scene were both tense and believable. I enjoyed!
One note:
1.) The book was all full of both."
--> 'all' is not needed, imho
Thanks!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
|
Rhonda,
Great chapter. The writing was tight and well-executed, showing a firm hand and grasp of the craft. The scene were both tense and believable. I enjoyed!
One note:
1.) The book was all full of both."
--> 'all' is not needed, imho
Thanks!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
-
Thank you for the wonderful review, Robyn, and for the advice! I'll fix it!
Take care,
Rhonda
