Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "haiku (colt prances)*"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
48 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
I much prefer colts to creepy insects that I've been reading about! They have such a sense of enjoyment and fun when their frolicking about. Your words are well chosen so that each one counts. This conveys the springlike mood of feeling carefree and being able to romp in a pleasant meadow. It would be nice for human beings to spare a few moments for such fun. judi
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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I much prefer colts to creepy insects that I've been reading about! They have such a sense of enjoyment and fun when their frolicking about. Your words are well chosen so that each one counts. This conveys the springlike mood of feeling carefree and being able to romp in a pleasant meadow. It would be nice for human beings to spare a few moments for such fun. judi
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Judi, for your great review and comments for my colt haiku. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I appreciate your kind response. Your comment about us humans is so true!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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You're very welcome. Might as well have some fun! judi
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi friend , the coldt has just found its feet and there it goes all free . It is wobbl , weak but thats no problem until its mother calls
Very beautiful little write ..with a air of childlike freedom.
Danny Jock
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Hi friend , the coldt has just found its feet and there it goes all free . It is wobbl , weak but thats no problem until its mother calls
Very beautiful little write ..with a air of childlike freedom.
Danny Jock
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your great review and comments for my colt haiku, Danny Jock. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I appreciate your kind response. It's great to read your feedback!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Karyn
I easily form an image of the colt kicking those wobbly legs in carefree joy. Your haiku is short and sweet with 3-4-3 syllables. Lighthearted.
I have just one suggestion for you... for "romp". And it's just a suggestion, as "romp" works fine.
( colt prances
on wobbly legs
carefree kicks ) ...you could pick up some alliteration this way. But as I said, not necessary, just a suggestion. I visualize a colt kicking his hind legs in the air. I think they are a bit gangling because of their length.
Nicely penned!
Hugs
Kimbob
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Hi Karyn
I easily form an image of the colt kicking those wobbly legs in carefree joy. Your haiku is short and sweet with 3-4-3 syllables. Lighthearted.
I have just one suggestion for you... for "romp". And it's just a suggestion, as "romp" works fine.
( colt prances
on wobbly legs
carefree kicks ) ...you could pick up some alliteration this way. But as I said, not necessary, just a suggestion. I visualize a colt kicking his hind legs in the air. I think they are a bit gangling because of their length.
Nicely penned!
Hugs
Kimbob
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your great review and comments for my colt haiku, Kimbob. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I appreciate your kind response. You always have some great suggestions for me, and I'm happy to get them and make me think.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Pantygynt
A very economical Haiku this. On first reading I felt that the satori line followed very logically the first two line and as such did not deliver that moment of enlightenment Haikuists (is that a word? It is now) are seeking. On subsequent reading though it appeared more subtle as the wobble in an older creature would be a cause for alarm and even in one so young, might cause mother some concern, but not to the colt itself. It couldn't give a damn - truly carefree.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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A very economical Haiku this. On first reading I felt that the satori line followed very logically the first two line and as such did not deliver that moment of enlightenment Haikuists (is that a word? It is now) are seeking. On subsequent reading though it appeared more subtle as the wobble in an older creature would be a cause for alarm and even in one so young, might cause mother some concern, but not to the colt itself. It couldn't give a damn - truly carefree.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Pantygynt, for your great review and comments for my colt haiku. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and, I appreciate your kind response. You're the best kind of reviewer a haikuist (yes, that's a word) hopes for. You go beyond the words to bring your imagination into the "moment of time" the writer hopes to give the reader. Thanks!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
colt prances
on wobbly legs
carefree romp
Your choice of words describe the little cutie perfectly, Karyn.
Margaret
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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colt prances
on wobbly legs
carefree romp
Your choice of words describe the little cutie perfectly, Karyn.
Margaret
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your great review and comments for my colt haiku, Margaret. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I appreciate your kind response. Thank you.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Antoine Charlemaine
So...how does this thing work? You're part of a hair-do club (the hair-bunners are next door, presumably)....? And you make a decision about flamingos and tree frogs and praying mantiseseses and turtlets and prancing ponies...how? Do you get all your inspiration from Nat Geo? When do you learn if you are chosen as the lucky author who gets published? And how many chapters are there going to be? And don't you get bored? Like a change? Would you like to write the next chapter of my story? I'll credit you as a co-author....promise! Come to think of it, I almost have to do that already...
Now...my review. I must point out, missy, that a colt's first prance upon wobbly legs is probably anything but carefree. Hey, he's gotta get going on those pins of his, quick smart! Could be a cougar or lion or tiger or bear just waiting to chomp his little colt head off (shades of praying mantis...without the sex). I think he'd be feeling a certain urgency...like, "Do I want to live, or die? Think I'd like to live!"
That, by the way, is pay back for asking me a silly question about how Robert knows so much 'little known' knowledge. Oooh, I can be nasty...
Mean Ant Man
xxxxx
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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So...how does this thing work? You're part of a hair-do club (the hair-bunners are next door, presumably)....? And you make a decision about flamingos and tree frogs and praying mantiseseses and turtlets and prancing ponies...how? Do you get all your inspiration from Nat Geo? When do you learn if you are chosen as the lucky author who gets published? And how many chapters are there going to be? And don't you get bored? Like a change? Would you like to write the next chapter of my story? I'll credit you as a co-author....promise! Come to think of it, I almost have to do that already...
Now...my review. I must point out, missy, that a colt's first prance upon wobbly legs is probably anything but carefree. Hey, he's gotta get going on those pins of his, quick smart! Could be a cougar or lion or tiger or bear just waiting to chomp his little colt head off (shades of praying mantis...without the sex). I think he'd be feeling a certain urgency...like, "Do I want to live, or die? Think I'd like to live!"
That, by the way, is pay back for asking me a silly question about how Robert knows so much 'little known' knowledge. Oooh, I can be nasty...
Mean Ant Man
xxxxx
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Oh, MeanAntMan ... if you're so nasty, why am I laughing like a goof?
Several haiku lovers got together and decided they wanted to present different topic haiku challenges every week and organized a challenge collection, and any FS member could submit a haiku for the challenge collection. That group who started the challenges, decided to publish a book from those challenge submissions. They select the ones they like ... I don't know what criteria they are using to select the ones for the book, but they select whatever they want for each topic. Out of the 9 chapters so far, they've selected two of my hair-dos. Cool, huh?
As far as newborn colts, most of them are born on farms where there are no lions, tigers, or bears--oh my! So no head chomping or body devouring. Eaidea, their mommy would slap the shit out of those wild critters before they knew what hit them. Don't mess with a mommy! They climb up on those long wobbly legs, stumble a bit, and soon they are prancing around the meadow singing, " All the Pretty Little Horsies".
Thanks for your review, Ant, and thanks more for making me laugh at your silliness..,you're the best!
Smiles,
Kazza :-)
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Haiku lovers...hmm...you make it sound like some sort of fetish... And they've chosen two of your fetishes? Wow! Well done! Which two? Did the praying mantis make the grade? I'll have a stab... Flamingos doing yoga in the morning (nice touch, that)...and Rainbow Starfish.
I'm stickin' to my guns on Black Beauty's chances with lions and tigers and bears (oh my), just the same. Eaidea can't always be there, and when she does turn her back, Dorothy, we find, will be busy throwing water over other evils... David Attenborough, eat your heart out...
Glad you enjoy my silliness. That's...nice. I was thinking I might upset you. I know for a fact Americans don't always understand my very Australian humour. We're a strange mob. We show respect and honour for others we admire by belittling and pulling them down. Knowing how to do it properly is the key, I guess, and I've upset a few Americans over the years... You guys are far too serious. ;)
Thanks for your kind review of my nasty review. I guess you're part Leprechaun, after all...
Touched Ant (no smart comments, missy!)
xx
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Such a lovely haiku about a colt prancing on wobbly legs.
I,ve seen this numerous times and your words paint this picture so very well.
Thanks for sharing
Have a lovely day
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Such a lovely haiku about a colt prancing on wobbly legs.
I,ve seen this numerous times and your words paint this picture so very well.
Thanks for sharing
Have a lovely day
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your great review and comments for my colt haiku, YNWA. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I appreciate your kind response. Thank you so much!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku on mammals. It is amazing how quickly small animals can start walking or running, comparing to humans it takes a few minutes to be on their legs while humans take at least 8 months to 12 months for an infant to start walking.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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A very well-written haiku on mammals. It is amazing how quickly small animals can start walking or running, comparing to humans it takes a few minutes to be on their legs while humans take at least 8 months to 12 months for an infant to start walking.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Sandra for your great review and comments for my colt haiku. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I appreciate your kind response. Thamks for reading.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from sue133
Enjoyed your Haiku immensely. Having been with horses for some of my life, I thought your words 'on wobbly legs.... carefree romp' summed up little foals movements so well. They want to run before they can walk. Susan
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Enjoyed your Haiku immensely. Having been with horses for some of my life, I thought your words 'on wobbly legs.... carefree romp' summed up little foals movements so well. They want to run before they can walk. Susan
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your great review and comments for my colt haiku, Susan. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I appreciate your kind response. I love to watch those wobbly legs turn into strong prancing ones.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from MelB
Adorable picture! A well penned Haiku. They are so cute when they wobble on those tall legs. Good description and imagery.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Adorable picture! A well penned Haiku. They are so cute when they wobble on those tall legs. Good description and imagery.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your kind review and response to my colt haiku, MelB. I truly appreciate your mentioning you liked the imagery and description. Thank you!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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You're most welcome, Karyn.
