Harley Bound For West Texas
A sequel to my last poem-Dear John27 total reviews
Comment from Tina Crute
I loved your poem. Not being adept at storytelling yet, I can appreciate that you ARE!
I love your choice of verbs...roaring, singing, bumped,bounced, etc. They make me feel I can see you heading down the road on your long trek:) I am a newbie and am amazed at the talent on here. I will want to read more of your work for sure.
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I loved your poem. Not being adept at storytelling yet, I can appreciate that you ARE!
I love your choice of verbs...roaring, singing, bumped,bounced, etc. They make me feel I can see you heading down the road on your long trek:) I am a newbie and am amazed at the talent on here. I will want to read more of your work for sure.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
Comment from meeshu
"I've been everywhere, man." I am reminded of Johnny's song as I read your great poem. some fantastic images in this work, Jaybird1...............meeshu
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"I've been everywhere, man." I am reminded of Johnny's song as I read your great poem. some fantastic images in this work, Jaybird1...............meeshu
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
Comment from Earl Corp
The fact that this rhymes is worth 5 stars. Your being a veteran and a harley rider would have gotten you six stars if i had any left. Very nice job.
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The fact that this rhymes is worth 5 stars. Your being a veteran and a harley rider would have gotten you six stars if i had any left. Very nice job.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2018
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello jaybird1, Your poem just flowed as if it were a Harley. Silky rhyming, vivid imagery, and good alliteration: bumped and bounced. I especially liked:
I braked in gravel and was thrown,
skinning elbows and my pride.
(I can see it; I can hear it.)
Also:
The sun and wind had burned my nose,
like a well done char-broiled steak.
(Good analogy)
A fun poem. I could feel the adventure within. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Hello jaybird1, Your poem just flowed as if it were a Harley. Silky rhyming, vivid imagery, and good alliteration: bumped and bounced. I especially liked:
I braked in gravel and was thrown,
skinning elbows and my pride.
(I can see it; I can hear it.)
Also:
The sun and wind had burned my nose,
like a well done char-broiled steak.
(Good analogy)
A fun poem. I could feel the adventure within. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 28-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thank you friend-appreciated
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
I loved the ways it rhymes and placing of words. A great piece of work especially ' Fourteen hundred miles awaited,
miles of wind and bugs and sun,
of two lane roads and fogs and dogs
'ere this trip was ever done '
This is my favourite and inspired me never to miss time ' My leave was up at twelve 'oclock,
but I arrived at seven
and passed into those campground gates'
back into Air Force heaven
Great poem
Have a nice day
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2017
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I loved the ways it rhymes and placing of words. A great piece of work especially ' Fourteen hundred miles awaited,
miles of wind and bugs and sun,
of two lane roads and fogs and dogs
'ere this trip was ever done '
This is my favourite and inspired me never to miss time ' My leave was up at twelve 'oclock,
but I arrived at seven
and passed into those campground gates'
back into Air Force heaven
Great poem
Have a nice day
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2017
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Thank you for such a thorough comment-it wasgreatly appreciated
Comment from Pantygynt
Memoirs of a nineteen year old, aged ninety two. In this bustling travelog poem, that flows with the sense of urgency of an airman needing to get back to camp before his leave pass runs out, your love of the open road and your Harley comes over clearly. As an ex biker myself I was there with you all the way, singing too (I used to do that on the bike, and still do it in the car). I gave a wry smile at the lines about the ache in your back. I suffer back pain to this day and the doctors tell me it is down to those biking days.
Part of the effectivenes of this poem is down to the mixed meter selected. The driving rhythm of trochaic terameter contrasts occasionally with an iambic line when progress is not so rapid as when you "bumped and bounced through Arkansas", or when you took a tumble.
Very effectively written.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2017
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Memoirs of a nineteen year old, aged ninety two. In this bustling travelog poem, that flows with the sense of urgency of an airman needing to get back to camp before his leave pass runs out, your love of the open road and your Harley comes over clearly. As an ex biker myself I was there with you all the way, singing too (I used to do that on the bike, and still do it in the car). I gave a wry smile at the lines about the ache in your back. I suffer back pain to this day and the doctors tell me it is down to those biking days.
Part of the effectivenes of this poem is down to the mixed meter selected. The driving rhythm of trochaic terameter contrasts occasionally with an iambic line when progress is not so rapid as when you "bumped and bounced through Arkansas", or when you took a tumble.
Very effectively written.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2017
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This was a mighty thorough comment as was highly appreciated
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You are most welcome.
Comment from sue133
What a great poem. It had such spirit in it and rattled along at a great pace. Although from the UK, I found myself reading it in my head with a Texan accent! Congratulations. Susan
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What a great poem. It had such spirit in it and rattled along at a great pace. Although from the UK, I found myself reading it in my head with a Texan accent! Congratulations. Susan
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
Comment from heyjude
Jay, I truly enjoyed this poem. At one time I had a boyfriend who
had a motorcycle. I used to ride on the back of it. Those were my
days when I didn't think about how fragile your life is on the back of
those. You make it sound so exciting; except for the bugs.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
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Jay, I truly enjoyed this poem. At one time I had a boyfriend who
had a motorcycle. I used to ride on the back of it. Those were my
days when I didn't think about how fragile your life is on the back of
those. You make it sound so exciting; except for the bugs.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
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Thank you for your many comments and that great rating
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
I enjoyed your poem Jay.
It had an air of excitement, I can almost feel the wind in my hair with
your detail and expression. It was well written.
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I enjoyed your poem Jay.
It had an air of excitement, I can almost feel the wind in my hair with
your detail and expression. It was well written.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2017
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
'Now, into Texas I bore on,
still with many miles to make
The sun and wind had burned my nose,
like a well done char-broiled steak.'
This is stunning, a really meaningful and impressive poem. I enjoyed it so much and will look forward to more of your poems you are becoming a favorite of mine I even started writing sonnets, imagine...you are a great talent well done, Meiax
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
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'Now, into Texas I bore on,
still with many miles to make
The sun and wind had burned my nose,
like a well done char-broiled steak.'
This is stunning, a really meaningful and impressive poem. I enjoyed it so much and will look forward to more of your poems you are becoming a favorite of mine I even started writing sonnets, imagine...you are a great talent well done, Meiax
Comment Written 23-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
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Meia-I am grateful for your interest in my offerings and am anxious to see your sonnets
