Scenes
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Scene at a Used Car Lot"Pons and Ned meet at different locations
12 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
LOL!! You have done a great job with the dialogue. The inflection in Ned's voice was probably something I made up in my head - but I kept hearing Jeff Dunham's puppet, Peanut. (He's quite the dolt.)
The story was entertaining and made a point. I like the way you brought it back around to the train tracks.
Great job; thank you for sharing,
~patty~
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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LOL!! You have done a great job with the dialogue. The inflection in Ned's voice was probably something I made up in my head - but I kept hearing Jeff Dunham's puppet, Peanut. (He's quite the dolt.)
The story was entertaining and made a point. I like the way you brought it back around to the train tracks.
Great job; thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 22-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Patty, for the excellent review. BIll
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
It also has a state-of-the-art, eight-track tape player with owner-installed, quadraphonic speakers in the trunk. There's even purple shag carpet and a twelve-inch steering wheel'
As always your work had me in stitches as your internal voice is so good, so southern american I can hear it in my head. You have an amazing ribald humour which is incredibly funny and amusing, very well done on this tremendously funny write :) Love it meia :)
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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It also has a state-of-the-art, eight-track tape player with owner-installed, quadraphonic speakers in the trunk. There's even purple shag carpet and a twelve-inch steering wheel'
As always your work had me in stitches as your internal voice is so good, so southern american I can hear it in my head. You have an amazing ribald humour which is incredibly funny and amusing, very well done on this tremendously funny write :) Love it meia :)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Meia, for the incredibly uplifting review. I will have to read this review whenever I need a shot in the arm.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Bill, your characters are great. You have dialogue with flair and dialect that comes across easy. Lemon for sure...most men can't make up their minds..ouch:)
Strong script with some humor to carry me along.
Thanks for sharing.
m
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Dear Bill, your characters are great. You have dialogue with flair and dialect that comes across easy. Lemon for sure...most men can't make up their minds..ouch:)
Strong script with some humor to carry me along.
Thanks for sharing.
m
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Maureen, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Dawn Munro
LOL. Their speech is getting a bit thick, but then I guess it matches those block-heads. LOL. If Ned was buying the car, parking it on the tracks, I'd worry he'd fall asleep behind the twelve-inch steering wheel.
Thanks for the giggle, Bill. :)) (Hard not to picture these two! In fact, I think they must be from my hometown. *grin*)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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LOL. Their speech is getting a bit thick, but then I guess it matches those block-heads. LOL. If Ned was buying the car, parking it on the tracks, I'd worry he'd fall asleep behind the twelve-inch steering wheel.
Thanks for the giggle, Bill. :)) (Hard not to picture these two! In fact, I think they must be from my hometown. *grin*)
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Dawn, for the positive review. Bill
Comment from Teri7
This is very cute what you have written. Believe it or not, today we went to a car lot to check on our car that was damaged by hitting a deer that ran out in front of us. Very cute wording. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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This is very cute what you have written. Believe it or not, today we went to a car lot to check on our car that was damaged by hitting a deer that ran out in front of us. Very cute wording. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Teri, for the nice review. Hope your car gets bumped out alright.
Comment from nomi338
Pons what ever you do, don't buy the Pimp Mobile. I know it sounds real nice but it is a magnet for the police to stop you over and over again. Stay away from the Pimp Mobile, that is unless you plan on being a Pimp
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Pons what ever you do, don't buy the Pimp Mobile. I know it sounds real nice but it is a magnet for the police to stop you over and over again. Stay away from the Pimp Mobile, that is unless you plan on being a Pimp
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, nomi, for reading this. He eventually bought a Chevy Love truck with only one bucket seat in the cab, but room in the bed for Ned.
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Ha ha ha! You are too funny.
Comment from Ulla
Oh you make me laugh all right. Brilliant dialogue as per usual and maybe they should go looking at them rail tracks after all. hehe. Loved it. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Oh you make me laugh all right. Brilliant dialogue as per usual and maybe they should go looking at them rail tracks after all. hehe. Loved it. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Ulla.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ned's got a one track mind, don't he, Bill? I mean, ya git him goin' on somethin' he's like a blue tick hound on the scent of coons.
Pons sure has his work cut out for him choosin' a car with Ned as his "wing man".
If it was me, I'd look for a 1971 Plymouth Roadrunner with a 383-cid high-performace V8, 3-speed manual floor-mounted transmission, deep pile carpeting, and that iconic "Beep-Beep" horn.
No train tracks included, LOL...
Nice writing, another fun-filled chapter, as usual.
~Dean
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Ned's got a one track mind, don't he, Bill? I mean, ya git him goin' on somethin' he's like a blue tick hound on the scent of coons.
Pons sure has his work cut out for him choosin' a car with Ned as his "wing man".
If it was me, I'd look for a 1971 Plymouth Roadrunner with a 383-cid high-performace V8, 3-speed manual floor-mounted transmission, deep pile carpeting, and that iconic "Beep-Beep" horn.
No train tracks included, LOL...
Nice writing, another fun-filled chapter, as usual.
~Dean
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Ned is a caution to be sure. He knows of a car that is easy on gas, but it's up on blocks in his dad's back yard.
Comment from jusylee72
Now, now, insurance fraud, hmmmm. Great job on this little script. I like your use of dialogue which accents who the characters are. Thank you for the fun.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Now, now, insurance fraud, hmmmm. Great job on this little script. I like your use of dialogue which accents who the characters are. Thank you for the fun.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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Pons is only kidding. He's a straight arrow. Ned thinks insurance is what others need who he might run into.
Comment from Stephendick24
I enjoyed this. I thought you did really well with your phonetic spelling of the characters' dialect. I particularly liked the "history of the automobile" line. Also when one character sees "lemon" written all over a "LeMans." That's pretty good. Your characters are likeable fellows, although I mush confess to having made little effort to distinguish one from the other. The last line was fitting. I'd like to get to know these two guys better.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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I enjoyed this. I thought you did really well with your phonetic spelling of the characters' dialect. I particularly liked the "history of the automobile" line. Also when one character sees "lemon" written all over a "LeMans." That's pretty good. Your characters are likeable fellows, although I mush confess to having made little effort to distinguish one from the other. The last line was fitting. I'd like to get to know these two guys better.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
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They can be found in my portfolio under scripts. They are Scenes at a ...
