Reviews from

Tanka Waka

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Tanka (our kisses)"
A collection of Japanese short poetry

21 total reviews 
Comment from Jackarrie
Excellent
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Hi Gypsy
I love how you used artwork and Japanese calligraphy to enhance this tanka. I really like the last line: Our hearts will remember. Excellent artistic presentation.

Well done Mary

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2017
    Thank you, honey, I appreciate your readership.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from krys123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good greetings, Gypsy;
-I immensely enjoyed reading your tanka because of its professional composition due to its very definitively and distinctively descriptive imagery and a very demonstratively expressive visualization of a romantic episode in the two lines of lovers.
-All of the verbs are actively chosen along with the other descriptive lines of your writing and tanka.
-I expressly notice that your pivot line pulls together and sets a tone for the first two and last two lines of your grammatically connected sentences.
-The picture relates very heavily to the composition and as well chosen for this tanka.
-Thank you, delightfully, for sharing and posting this writing and may you have a good one where and when you can find it with the one you love.
Alex

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
    Thank you, my friend :)

    Gypsy
reply by krys123 on 23-Feb-2017
    You are welcome, Gypsy.
    Alex
Comment from Lu Saluna
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I am so far behind in my reviewing, in everything.... I apologize for taking so long to review.

I am no expert, as you know I am just learning. Your tank reminds of the ones I have been reading of the Akiko Yosano. Very traditional, romantic and sensual.

The flow is smooth and lovely. Though I know this is not a requirement, your tanka reads backs smoothly as well as from what I understand indicates a well written pivotal line
Very beautiful and I love the way you presented it.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
    Thank you, my friend :)

    Thank you for the six stars, sweetie pie

    Luv ya

    Gypsy
Comment from BOO ghost
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You found away! Wish we could edit Japanese words on our formats. We need special fonts so we can use different languages. this is great and romantic! Dang! BOO has a friend who is half Japanese. He tells me so many stores about his family. I learned a lot about the Japanese. Their religion is more like Shinto/Kami cult. they worship nature and trees have souls. Swords too. I was saving this gold nugget in case somebody gave me a six and I give one back ut this is sort what I had in mind, .. this will be book cased. I need to read it several times to comprehend it 100%. Your translation is at the top. dang, could not paste the words for a Japanese translation.

ç´?¾??ã??ã??ã??ç§?ã??ã?¡ã?®¾??å¾?ã?®ã?­ã?¹

ã?¾ã??ä¼?ã??ã?¾ã??ã??ã??

¾?¥ã??å?¬¾­£ã?§ã??ã??ã?¨ã??

¾¬¡ã?®å®?å?¨ã?ªå??ç©«ã?®¾??ã?®å??ã?«ã??

ç§?ã??ã?¡ã?®å¿?ã?¯é¦?ã??ã?¦ã??ã?¾ã??ã??

that is your words translated into Japanese.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
    Hello, Honey, have ever used Paint? It's a microsoft app. You can copy the kanji (japanese words) to Paint, then upload it to photobucket, then post in fanstory. I can help you but Dean is the best. He is the one who taught me.

    Thank you for the six stars, sweetie pie. I ran out of stars fast. I wish we were given more than six.

    Thank you for the review, honey.

    Gypsy
reply by BOO ghost on 22-Feb-2017
    I see... yep, I got Windows paint, s a wee bit complicated process to upload images and use paint. I may could do it --if I put enough time into it. My photobucket runs slow, I do not have a big system which allows me... still, that takes time and a knack to get used to paint. I do not post much so that is the reason I do not use paint. Now that is a real traditional japanese haiku, not a copy, like we westerners use. I think that the roots of haiku is the true haiku. Liked your presentation very much. i was saving that nugget but you took it from BOO. ha ha, you some gypsy.
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

HI Gypsy, I miss kisses from the past...kisses I'll never feel again...sigh...I love your poem you...very nicely written Queen of Haiku...love ya Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
    Luv ya, back, Ms Linda, thank you for reading :)

    Gypsy
reply by l.raven on 27-Feb-2017
    you are always sooooo very welcome...sorry for the late reply...internet...was off a few days...now it's catch up time...smiling back at ya...love xxoo
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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New to the different styles and forms of poetry, I've quickly learned that the shorter structures can use so few words to share the talented poet's thoughts and intentions. Thanks for sharing your visions of this couple's planned last kiss. Hair whipping in the wind, tangling around their tongues. There goes the appetite. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you, sweetie pie,

    big gypsy hugs
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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This flows smoothly. I love how you used artwork and Japanese calligraphy to enhance this tanka. I especially like the last line: Our hearts will remember. Excellent artistic presentation.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you, sweetie pie,

    big gypsy hugs
Comment from Douglas Paul
Excellent
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I like this one. It has the feeling of the old masters in the way it is written to communicate your love for someone. You did a good job on this, my friend

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    thank you, my friend. you are very kind
Comment from Chrissy710
Excellent
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Hi Gypsy. A clear Tanka that connects the first and last lines so read either way it sound nice as a promise of more to come on the harvest moon Clever presentation with the Japanese version looks impresive and compliments this traditional style Well done Cheers Christine ð???ð???

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you, Christine
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
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Hi Gypsy,

I really enjoyed reading your poem which was very nice.
You are really great at writing them and which I enjoy reading.
Of course I don't understand the other poem you wrote.

Kat

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    thank you
reply by MizKat on 20-Feb-2017
    You are very welcome.