A Walk Among Magnolias
Remembrance blends the strongest feelings36 total reviews
Comment from zanya
Beautiful seasonal stanzas imbued with emotion and sheer joy in the presence of Nature and remembrance inlaid with appropriate imagery
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Beautiful seasonal stanzas imbued with emotion and sheer joy in the presence of Nature and remembrance inlaid with appropriate imagery
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed "Walk," zanya, and truly appreciate your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Irish Rain
This is a truly lovely entry. I love your rhymes, and subject matter. I think there's just a couple tiny errors...in the title....you have 'AWalk'...did you mean 'A Walk?' And in line 5...'i' needs to be 'I'....I do THAT all the time. I am giving this a 6 because it's just beautiful, but it would really POP with a black background, light pink text....blessings...
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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This is a truly lovely entry. I love your rhymes, and subject matter. I think there's just a couple tiny errors...in the title....you have 'AWalk'...did you mean 'A Walk?' And in line 5...'i' needs to be 'I'....I do THAT all the time. I am giving this a 6 because it's just beautiful, but it would really POP with a black background, light pink text....blessings...
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Irish, I truly appreciate your wonderful review of "Walk" and your on-going encouragement in these contests. I did fix the title and that pronoun "I" before the voting. Thanks so much for the stellar review. Rod
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You are most welcome. It got my vote!! Truly beautiful!!
Comment from sue133
This is a lovely poem, beautifully expressed. You paint a delightful picture of magnolias and your writing of Ma is poignant. The rhyming scheme is faultless. Well done. Susan
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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This is a lovely poem, beautifully expressed. You paint a delightful picture of magnolias and your writing of Ma is poignant. The rhyming scheme is faultless. Well done. Susan
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Susan, I am delighted you enjoyed "Walk" so much and truly appreciate the lavish praise. Rod
Comment from valmay
What a beautiful poem to a mother. Her loss still grieved, illustrated in the tried to skirt line. A poem of love and loss. Such strong feelings.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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What a beautiful poem to a mother. Her loss still grieved, illustrated in the tried to skirt line. A poem of love and loss. Such strong feelings.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I am delighted you could so easily recognize the theme of sorrow and loss expressed in "Walk." Thank you, valmay, for your wonderful comments and support. Rod
Comment from Lu Saluna
A very lovely poem of sadness and loss. One can feel the depth of pain at the loss of one so loved. A very beautifully written poem. An excellent contest entry.
Best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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A very lovely poem of sadness and loss. One can feel the depth of pain at the loss of one so loved. A very beautifully written poem. An excellent contest entry.
Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Lu, for your wonderful praise and succinct description of "Walk's" central theme. Rod
Comment from pome lover
that is exceptional! beautiful poetry flush with soft feelings and remembrance.
Good descriptions - sense of place - excellent word choices sincerely felt.
definitely a 6!
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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that is exceptional! beautiful poetry flush with soft feelings and remembrance.
Good descriptions - sense of place - excellent word choices sincerely felt.
definitely a 6!
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Katharine, I truly appreciate your stellar rating and lavish praise, but it's even more thrilling to hear a reader say "word choices sincerely felt." Thank you so much! Rod
Comment from Pantygynt
I think you have caught the spirit of this contest really well and a depth of feeling for your departed Ma comes over clearly. I would like to offer two suggestions if I may.
You have this line, "of petals lying like pink lace". There are two possibilities I can see here for enhancing the double alliteration here on both L and P. At the moment the P separated by two L words loses some of its power.
"of petals lying pink like lace" preserves both the alliterative overlap and the potency of both.
On the other hand, of "petals pink that lay like lace". This loses the overlap but strengthens the alliteration on both letters. That is introduced to preserve the iambic meter's natural stress.
Your final line, "I paused . . . to smell their fragrance, stare" mixes the tenses.
"I paused . . . to smell their fragrance, stared" maintains the past tense previously established but, "I pause. . . to smell their fragrance, stare" in putting both into the present somehow gives the poem an immediacy, even a hint for the future.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I think you have caught the spirit of this contest really well and a depth of feeling for your departed Ma comes over clearly. I would like to offer two suggestions if I may.
You have this line, "of petals lying like pink lace". There are two possibilities I can see here for enhancing the double alliteration here on both L and P. At the moment the P separated by two L words loses some of its power.
"of petals lying pink like lace" preserves both the alliterative overlap and the potency of both.
On the other hand, of "petals pink that lay like lace". This loses the overlap but strengthens the alliteration on both letters. That is introduced to preserve the iambic meter's natural stress.
Your final line, "I paused . . . to smell their fragrance, stare" mixes the tenses.
"I paused . . . to smell their fragrance, stared" maintains the past tense previously established but, "I pause. . . to smell their fragrance, stare" in putting both into the present somehow gives the poem an immediacy, even a hint for the future.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I really enjoy receiving reviews from you, Pantygynt, because you always take the time to closely read each verse AND make viable suggestions. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on "Walk." Rod
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I hope you found this one helpful. Thanks for the compliment.
Comment from Donya Quijote
Tender, moving, sentimental, sweet... These are words that come to mind as you take the reader on a gentle journey through the garden of your past and your present. I have never seen magnolia trees in bloom. I don't think they grow in West Virginia. I associate them with the Deep South and will make sure I take notice of those tree should ever find myself in the region in the future... Good, pleasant write...
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Tender, moving, sentimental, sweet... These are words that come to mind as you take the reader on a gentle journey through the garden of your past and your present. I have never seen magnolia trees in bloom. I don't think they grow in West Virginia. I associate them with the Deep South and will make sure I take notice of those tree should ever find myself in the region in the future... Good, pleasant write...
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Donya, your choice of modifiers thrills this poet. I am really delighted you enjoyed "Walk" so much. Magnolias are found in the north as well and are very popular in the Chicago suburb where I live. I have a starburst (white) magnolia in my backyard. Rod
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem of the feelings come to you when you visit your mother's grave. All the things that reminds you of her and that she would like.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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A very well-written poem of the feelings come to you when you visit your mother's grave. All the things that reminds you of her and that she would like.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Sandra, for sharing "Walk" and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written beautiful and full of imagery enclosed I enjoyed this walk with you good luck in the contest regards Jill
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Yes this is well written beautiful and full of imagery enclosed I enjoyed this walk with you good luck in the contest regards Jill
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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So pleased you enjoyed the imagery in "Walk," Jill. It was fun to imagine this scene as I wrote. Rod
