A Walk Among Magnolias
Remembrance blends the strongest feelings36 total reviews
Comment from Richard J
I love the tree you chose, the easy pink and green, along with the captivating and soothing verses, of course.
Your syntax, counts, and rhymes are spot-on, and the flow pulls one effortlessly through each line, down the page with a lovely sense of pleasure.
A virtual masterpiece of lovely soul-touching poetry.
I love it and plan to give it my vote ... thank you sincerely! ~ Richard : )
(coupl'a hints: add a space above your first and below your last verses to free your work from a cramped feeling (to let it soar); the final line feels a wee bit contrived. Consider: "I paused . . . sweet fragrance everywhere." Or, some-such, and throw-in a space following "A" in your title)
Great luck in the contest! : )
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I love the tree you chose, the easy pink and green, along with the captivating and soothing verses, of course.
Your syntax, counts, and rhymes are spot-on, and the flow pulls one effortlessly through each line, down the page with a lovely sense of pleasure.
A virtual masterpiece of lovely soul-touching poetry.
I love it and plan to give it my vote ... thank you sincerely! ~ Richard : )
(coupl'a hints: add a space above your first and below your last verses to free your work from a cramped feeling (to let it soar); the final line feels a wee bit contrived. Consider: "I paused . . . sweet fragrance everywhere." Or, some-such, and throw-in a space following "A" in your title)
Great luck in the contest! : )
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Richard, for taking the time to read closely "Walk" and specifically comment on what made it a "virtual masterpiece" for you. I also appreciate your suggestions and vote and did fix the error in the title. Rod
Comment from mvbrooks
It was interesting how a simple walk on one's property became an invitation from nature (but I was drawn by sweet cologne of petals lying like pink lace...) to face a painful experience (I tried to skirt the square of stones that marks Ma's final resting place,) and walk away a bit different from the experience a bit more at piece, having shared a special moment with her mother.
("Oh, Ma," I whispered, standing there.
"You'd love your trees in bloom again
since they've perfumed the sultry air
and are profuse despite the rain."
I paused . . . to smell their fragrance, stare.)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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It was interesting how a simple walk on one's property became an invitation from nature (but I was drawn by sweet cologne of petals lying like pink lace...) to face a painful experience (I tried to skirt the square of stones that marks Ma's final resting place,) and walk away a bit different from the experience a bit more at piece, having shared a special moment with her mother.
("Oh, Ma," I whispered, standing there.
"You'd love your trees in bloom again
since they've perfumed the sultry air
and are profuse despite the rain."
I paused . . . to smell their fragrance, stare.)
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, mybrooks, for your careful reading and high praise of "Walk." I truly appreciate your taking the time to tell me which stanza worked best. Rod
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Poet,
This was a quiet and soft poem about loneliness and loss. I love how the speaker still has the strength to go on and live her life. That's encouraging. Thanks!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Dear Mystery Poet,
This was a quiet and soft poem about loneliness and loss. I love how the speaker still has the strength to go on and live her life. That's encouraging. Thanks!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, robyn, for sharing "Walk." I am especially pleased you understood the Speaker's reactions and that he will be able to move on. Rod
Comment from Bucketlist
This is a very emotionally charged piece for me. Magnolias are lovely. Their delicate petals falling gave me reminders of the cycle of life. The ababc rhyme pattern was well expressed.and l liked the flow
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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This is a very emotionally charged piece for me. Magnolias are lovely. Their delicate petals falling gave me reminders of the cycle of life. The ababc rhyme pattern was well expressed.and l liked the flow
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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So pleased "Walk" was "emotionally charged" for you. Thanks so much for sharing. Rod
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Expessions of mother. She was very special. So important are these memoies and the whispers about them in beautiful poetry. This is a beautiful poem, well written
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Expessions of mother. She was very special. So important are these memoies and the whispers about them in beautiful poetry. This is a beautiful poem, well written
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Tier. Yes, "Walk" is an homage to mothers everywhere. So pleased you enjoyed it. Rod
Comment from winnona
A beautiful contest entry. Your words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork and background color completed the piece well
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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A beautiful contest entry. Your words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. Your artwork and background color completed the piece well
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, winnona, for sharing "Walk" and for your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Dean Kuch
This was a lovely, poignant, and beautifully well written poem, Anonymous Poet
The rhyming was exceptionally well composed, and the story this conveys, while commonplace, made your poem in no way less impactful.
You got my vote.
Best of luck to you in this contest.
~Dean Kuch
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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This was a lovely, poignant, and beautifully well written poem, Anonymous Poet
The rhyming was exceptionally well composed, and the story this conveys, while commonplace, made your poem in no way less impactful.
You got my vote.
Best of luck to you in this contest.
~Dean Kuch
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Hi Dean. Your kind praise of "Walk" is very much appreciated as is your vote. Rod
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I vote for you in a great many contests here at FS, Rod.
I just don't always let you know it.
Take care, and enjoy the day.
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Thanks, Dean. Very much appreciated. Rod
Comment from Ogden
A beautiful poem that, I believe, would easily be a winner on most days. The quality of the entries in this contest is unusually good, so the voters have difficult decisions to make.
Good luck!
Don
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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A beautiful poem that, I believe, would easily be a winner on most days. The quality of the entries in this contest is unusually good, so the voters have difficult decisions to make.
Good luck!
Don
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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You are so right about the quality of entries in this contest, Don. I was very fortunate to share the prize. Thanks so much your kind comments. Rod
Comment from Thal1959
Very well done. An interesting poem that reads smoothly and holds one's imagination. Though I wish you used a larger font - kinda hard to read the small green letters on the pink background.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Very well done. An interesting poem that reads smoothly and holds one's imagination. Though I wish you used a larger font - kinda hard to read the small green letters on the pink background.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I truly appreciate your kind praise of "Walk," Thal, and your suggestion. I am especially pleased the poem held your imagination. Rod
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You're welcome, Rod.
Comment from RobertaLee
Beautifully written all the way through but I must confess that "stare" at the end completely lost me. Your imagery is lovely and truly good flow and rhyme scheme. Very nicely presented also.
Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles and blessings.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Beautifully written all the way through but I must confess that "stare" at the end completely lost me. Your imagery is lovely and truly good flow and rhyme scheme. Very nicely presented also.
Best wishes in the contest.
Smiles and blessings.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Roberta, for your lavish praise of "Walk." I believe the Speaker could only do one thing after talking to his mother--stare at her grave and the beautiful flowers she loved that cover it. Rod
