Comment from Heidi M

Excellent

I love a story where there is redemption. Better late than never. You did a nice job writing the story behind the poem.
One suggestion: the tenses change between past and present. Example: 'Melissa becomes a headstrong...' is present tense while 'She longed for a...' is past tense.
I like the happy ending of changing to become a gentle and loving husband and father.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017

Thanks for the lovely review, Heidi. I made the suggested changes. Thanks for the help.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you again for being inspired by my Cherita to create a complete story around the short poem. You wrote is so quickly and yet it is a very satisfying tale. I like the photo you added too. More smiles- Joan

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017

Thanks for the lovely review, Joan. This was a fun exercise in being creative.

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Wow, after reading this story, I appreciate Joan's poem more so. You told the story well. I was able to follow the storyline, even if I did not read Joan's poem.

The story has a good ending and allowed for self-awareness and self-improvement relative to the father.

Thank you for sharing. Enjoy your weekend.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017

Thanks for the lovely review, Poetic Friend.

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

It's an uplifting story, and inspiring to read the stories of people who were capable of changing for the better. The mother was able to change and become a successful poet. The daughter vowed to overcome the tribulations of her childhood, and she succeeded. The father had been neglecting his family to further the success of his tavern, and was able to change and give them more attention. Remember to keep your tenses consistent. You were using past tense until the paragraph starting "And Beverly, her mother, struggles.) Make that struggled and continue with past tense. An inspirational story. judi

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017

Thanks for the lovely review, judi. I made the necessary corrections.

reply by judiverse on 19-Feb-2017

You're very welcome. Changing the tenses is an easy fix! judi

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

This is a fascinating writing prompt. You're using a poem to write a short story and it works very well! I would make this clause part of the previous sentence as it is a dependent one. " Which she loved and spent hours reading. "

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 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017

Thanks for the lovely review,. I made the changes, Thanks for the help.