Reviews from

One last kiss

We meet again

27 total reviews 
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
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I love the sentiments of this poem, too. It tracks a love that survived a lifetime, from youth to old age, and even past death itself. You describe the type of love many crave but few have or witnessed. Your poem is well rhymed and composed. Your sentiments are endearing. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Young love that's lost through separate lives only to find it again in the twilight of their lives The bodies might change but their hearts don't.

    dip
Comment from Bobbi22
Excellent
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This is a very sweet sentimental poem telling of a childhood love that was paused for almost a lifetime, only to be rekindled in the senior years. Some feelings just never go away. Very nicely done. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    That's exactly how it is RightPics you have said the sentiments of this write so succinctly thank you for understanding its sentiments

    dip
Comment from Poetic Friend
Excellent
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Wow, Dip, this is one of your best! The poem expresses a mixture of emotions -- love, pain, loss, longing, romance.

Of course, the emotions are well-weaved in perfect rhyme and meter.

I have not been on the site for a couple of weeks. Did you post your Valentine's Day poetic gem?

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    haha wow that means a lot to me P thankyou
    Yeah I posted one back on Valentine's day I would be honoured for you to check my profile for the poems you may have missed that might strike a chord with you

    dip
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Yes this is well written my friend full of emotion and a love story that unfolded although the characters went in different directions I enjoyed this beautiful poem regards Jill

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thankyou so much Jill much appreciated

    dip
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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For it were was you! You had a tear... ... Queen's English or not, bro', "was" is the correct word to use here...

Your commas and where they are placed literally drive me to near insanity, Dip.
A comma is used to indicate a pause...a "breath", or brief pause in the thought process, if you will.
A break in the narrative.
For example, when speaking, would you say to someone: "G'day, mate. My, that's a, quite lovely, leather coat you're, sportin' there!"
No, of course you wouldn't (at least I hope to God you wouldn't!).

As for the sentiments expressed here I thought they were lovely.
Just pah-leeeeease, lose those pesky, unnecessary commas...
 photo australian-dayanimation-GIF-images-201725281225291_zps7g31kh2s.gif
~Deano

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    no excuse i wrote this 4 years ago and had a whole different approach befor i came to the anal grammar nazis of fanstory lol

    you know why i used commas in those days and still to this dsay? because no one knows how i want my poetry to be read so i feel i have to use commas unnecessarily well that's my excuse and I am sticking to it lol i will revisit just for you as for were and was I have seen . if it were for you in many writes so the jury is out with that one.

    thanks for the review

    dip
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    fk! I just revisited there WERE a lot of unnecessary commas hey I have removed and if anyone tells me the fkg rhythm, beat, meters wrong i'll go off my fkg brain!! lol

    As long as they know how to use inflection, pause, accentuate, stress and un stress when reading I'll be happy

    respectfully dip
reply by Dean Kuch on 18-Feb-2017
    Now THAT is perfect, Doc!
    Great job!
    It''ll pay off, you'll see...
    ~Deano
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Hey dean while I've got you would you say the below review was offensive for me using the word 'assume'?


    For your review on My Days by evesayshi


    Beautiful words Eve presented in this Tanka poem definitely worthy of a contest place for sure Although not knowing the parameters of a Tanka I assume it fits the rules. lovely photo of two lovers.

    dip
reply by Dean Kuch on 18-Feb-2017
    Nah, you're just saying you aren't all too familiar with the tanka form or all of its idiosyncrasies and characteristics.
    That's all.
    Why, did she take it as offensive?
Comment from Heidi M
Excellent
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This is so sweet and sentimental! I really liked the reflective mood you created in this poem.
One minor suggestion: our days have (passed)
My favorite stanza was the second to the last. Well done.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thanks Heidi I always stuff up past and passed and when looking up their usuage in the dictionary I still find it confusing with their examples of each application Pass and pass are in the dictionary but for some reason passed is not and I don't understand why.
    HE passed the ball
    the years have passed
    In other words the years have overtaken us it will always be a contentious issue

    thanks for the great review

    dip
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written heartfelt story. True love will always find its way back even when it takes years. It starts as an innocent child-like love and years later thrown together again at an old age home for the final stretch.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    You've told the story as it is Sandra thankyou

    dip