Scenes
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Scene at a Science Lab"Pons and Ned meet at different locations
12 total reviews
Comment from mbroyles2
That's why there isn't many DNA tests among the uneducated I guess.
It would confuse the whole world.
Nice snappy script and easy to follow.
Excellent writing!
Michael
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2017
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That's why there isn't many DNA tests among the uneducated I guess.
It would confuse the whole world.
Nice snappy script and easy to follow.
Excellent writing!
Michael
Comment Written 14-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Michael, for reviewing the Boys From Bra-silly.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Ned: I'd hate findin' out she ain't my maw .
You write with hilarious wit, truly, you never fail to make me laugh and you have the voices of your characters down pat. This is, as usual superb, funny and surprising. Superb work and I cannot wait to read more from you. I just wish your works were a little longer but that's just because I love your writing so much! kind regards Meia :)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2017
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Ned: I'd hate findin' out she ain't my maw .
You write with hilarious wit, truly, you never fail to make me laugh and you have the voices of your characters down pat. This is, as usual superb, funny and surprising. Superb work and I cannot wait to read more from you. I just wish your works were a little longer but that's just because I love your writing so much! kind regards Meia :)
Comment Written 13-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Meia. I am a great fan of your work. Bill
Comment from Louise Michelle
Haha - good job with this fun-to-read one-scene script.
Your characters are lovable nitwits, I think. Fun to read and great presentation.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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Haha - good job with this fun-to-read one-scene script.
Your characters are lovable nitwits, I think. Fun to read and great presentation.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Louise, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from nomi338
Poor Ned. It hurts to be nobody's child. Reminds me of an old B.B. King song, Nobody loves me but my mama and she could be lying too. I don't guess it helps that Ned is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Well at least he has Pons, that is unless Pons is not his cousin either.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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Poor Ned. It hurts to be nobody's child. Reminds me of an old B.B. King song, Nobody loves me but my mama and she could be lying too. I don't guess it helps that Ned is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Well at least he has Pons, that is unless Pons is not his cousin either.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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This is about as dramatic as I would ever want to take this pair.
Comment from emptypage
Hey Bill...funny piece.
You wrote, "They owe you Money?"
Don't capitalize money, Honey!
I've considered the tests....but I'm afraid I'll be discovered by the po-po.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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Hey Bill...funny piece.
You wrote, "They owe you Money?"
Don't capitalize money, Honey!
I've considered the tests....but I'm afraid I'll be discovered by the po-po.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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Thank you, EP. I made it lower case and deleted the last word, 'neither', as it did more to confuse than to further enhance Ned's poor grammar.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, I love this. They are really two very likable nerds. I'm not sure anymore who is the most stupid. Very good stuff. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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Hi Bill, I love this. They are really two very likable nerds. I'm not sure anymore who is the most stupid. Very good stuff. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Ulla, for the kind review. Bill
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ya know, Bill, no matter how badly you'd like there to be, there's simply no hope for some people.
Know whut I mean?
Richard Nixon and Donald Trump immediately come to mind, along with Lindsay Lohan.
I could name a few in my own family but I might be included in the will so I'd best keep my yap shut.
Discretion is the better part of...well, you know... all that nonsense.
At least Ned has some endearing qualities about him. He means well (I think?) and he's never purposefully malicious.
At least, I don't believe so.
Still, if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times.
If Ned were my cousin, I'd kill him, LOL.
Good stuff, as usual.
~Dean
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Ya know, Bill, no matter how badly you'd like there to be, there's simply no hope for some people.
Know whut I mean?
Richard Nixon and Donald Trump immediately come to mind, along with Lindsay Lohan.
I could name a few in my own family but I might be included in the will so I'd best keep my yap shut.
Discretion is the better part of...well, you know... all that nonsense.
At least Ned has some endearing qualities about him. He means well (I think?) and he's never purposefully malicious.
At least, I don't believe so.
Still, if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times.
If Ned were my cousin, I'd kill him, LOL.
Good stuff, as usual.
~Dean
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Dean, for observing Ned and taking a side on his stupidity. My wife says reviewers confuse Pons and Ned because, in her opinion, Pons sounds like the name of a goofy person. Someone else mentioned in a review that Ned's dialect sounded different than what I had intended. In looking it over I guess Ned is sliding farther into the south in his dialect. I'll need to standardize that in revision. Thanks for giving the boys a look. Bill
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My pleasure. :)
Comment from valmay
This joke wrapped in a script was funny. I thought the characterisation of Ned through direct speech was good. There wasn't much background but it probably wasn't needed.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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This joke wrapped in a script was funny. I thought the characterisation of Ned through direct speech was good. There wasn't much background but it probably wasn't needed.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Pons and Ned have several scenes in my portfolio under scripts.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Realistic, seems visual portrayal of the scenic script with appropriate dialogues is sequential and lively; I enjoyed the scene structured to the point in free flow of thoughts and the setting is right, the beginning opens with a catch and the ending with a resolution; it is a practicable appealing scene.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Realistic, seems visual portrayal of the scenic script with appropriate dialogues is sequential and lively; I enjoyed the scene structured to the point in free flow of thoughts and the setting is right, the beginning opens with a catch and the ending with a resolution; it is a practicable appealing scene.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Thank you, ALD, for the specific review. Bill
Comment from Marilyn Arnold
Love the humour in this. However the language of Ned is not consistent. One minute he sounds like a cross between a negro and a teenager, the next he sounds like a university graduate. Would be great read aloud.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Love the humour in this. However the language of Ned is not consistent. One minute he sounds like a cross between a negro and a teenager, the next he sounds like a university graduate. Would be great read aloud.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
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Having reviewed it again I'd say you confused, as many do, Pons with Ned as you went through. Most people seem to think the dummy should be named Pons, so apparently superimpose that view on the dialog. Speaking of dialog, Ned's words have been slowly moving him farther south in dialect. In revision I will try, in the twenty other scenes, standardize Ned's speech to a mid-western dimwit.
