Word Games
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Driftings"poetry
11 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story about fishermen that caught the fish for a daily meal, it is an art that only fishermen really master, to skin and fillet the fish they caught.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
  |
A very well-written story about fishermen that caught the fish for a daily meal, it is an art that only fishermen really master, to skin and fillet the fish they caught.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the five star review and your comments. It is really an homage to those who work to bring us the sea's bounty, and the way of life they lead, their ties to the sea, emotionally, spiritually estory
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi friend, even before reading the notes, I could figure the fishermen pulling and hitching and fighting the rising billows. I have see a lot of it on Tv. And this writing is so graphic about the lives of fishermen, . It it a great writing flowing beautifully ,rising and falling like the waves.
Thank you.
Danny Jock
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
|
Hi friend, even before reading the notes, I could figure the fishermen pulling and hitching and fighting the rising billows. I have see a lot of it on Tv. And this writing is so graphic about the lives of fishermen, . It it a great writing flowing beautifully ,rising and falling like the waves.
Thank you.
Danny Jock
Comment Written 10-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the five star review and your comments. I am glad the piece had that rocking and rolling rhythm of the waves rising and falling, just the sort of music I intended estory
Comment from Irish Rain
'Red sky at night, sailors delight, red sky at morning, sailor take warning.' I used to tell the weather by that, ha ha. I lived on the Pacific, near Tacoma, Washington, and the Atlantic, Falmouth, Massachusettes,....so I can certainly relate to your ocean poem. Using to love to go clamming. This is beautiful, I especially like the line, 'you're tempted to throw some back as a goodwill offering'...true, the sea is an entity. Just beautiful, blessings....ps...out of sixes!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
|
'Red sky at night, sailors delight, red sky at morning, sailor take warning.' I used to tell the weather by that, ha ha. I lived on the Pacific, near Tacoma, Washington, and the Atlantic, Falmouth, Massachusettes,....so I can certainly relate to your ocean poem. Using to love to go clamming. This is beautiful, I especially like the line, 'you're tempted to throw some back as a goodwill offering'...true, the sea is an entity. Just beautiful, blessings....ps...out of sixes!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the five star review and your wonderful comments. It is so inspired and influenced by Seamus Heaney, the great Irish poet of our time, so I thought you might like this one. Glad you could relate and found so much to enjoy in this poem; I grew up on Long Island, hence the familiarility with the sea and its rhythms estory
-
Living on the ocean is the best of all worlds!!!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello author I must say you have such an interesting way with your words and style of poetry to ho;d my inters to the end about how to capture clams
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
|
Hello author I must say you have such an interesting way with your words and style of poetry to ho;d my inters to the end about how to capture clams
Gert
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the five star review and your encouraging comments. This style was actually influenced heavily by the poetry or Seamus Heaney, whom I studied at college. Glad you found this exercise captivating estory
-
You are welcome estory
Gert
Comment from Winslow
Dear Estory,
You paint a lovely beach landscape where humans take advantage of the sea's bounty. For is not the God's love such that he nourishes our stomach and soul.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
 |
Dear Estory,
You paint a lovely beach landscape where humans take advantage of the sea's bounty. For is not the God's love such that he nourishes our stomach and soul.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks again for the magnifiscent five star review and your encouraging comments estory
Comment from Thal1959
A very good free verse, though I am not partial to free verse myself. The words and expressions are all fine. There is a bit of a beat throughout. I personally would have liked a repeated word or phrase to give a better impression of the hint of rhyme, but that is just me.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
|
A very good free verse, though I am not partial to free verse myself. The words and expressions are all fine. There is a bit of a beat throughout. I personally would have liked a repeated word or phrase to give a better impression of the hint of rhyme, but that is just me.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the five star review and your interesting comments. I think I tried to tie the rhythm of the poetry very much to the rhythm of the waves rising and falling in the sea. Repetitions were not a big part of my poetry at the time, but they are more so now. Check out Stars, Garble and Paper Trails in my portfolio you might like those estory
-
Thanks for the explanation - I may check out those works.
-
you can get a good anthology of Heaney's first four books in Poems 1965-1975. Barnes and Noble should have it, or I'm sure you can get it online. His fifth book, Field Work, contains a great sonnet cycle called Glanmore Sonnets. estory
Comment from Badger_29
A winderful, rich read with lots of great cues for the senses. I thouroughly enjoyedthe flow, style, and breaksin the proper place.
You have woven a tale that takes the reader to another time and place, which is in and of itself a great accomplishment.
"Sometimes at dawn, when the sky is water and the water is sky"
Absolutely brilliant, this line evoked a vivid image in my mind's eye that rippled and changed!
Very Well Written
Blessings,
Brother Badger ~
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
|
A winderful, rich read with lots of great cues for the senses. I thouroughly enjoyedthe flow, style, and breaksin the proper place.
You have woven a tale that takes the reader to another time and place, which is in and of itself a great accomplishment.
"Sometimes at dawn, when the sky is water and the water is sky"
Absolutely brilliant, this line evoked a vivid image in my mind's eye that rippled and changed!
Very Well Written
Blessings,
Brother Badger ~
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Coming from you, whose poetry I have also come to admire so much, I am really pleased with this excellent review. I am glad that you got the sea rocking rhythms I tried to create in this piece. As I say in the notes, it was written at a time when I had recently graduated from college and while I was heavily influenced by the poets I studied there... especially Seamus Heaney, whose poem Lough Neagh Sequence inspired this. estory
-
I will research, thanks for warm reply, Darren
Comment from Bobbi22
Red sky at night, sailors take warning - so nothing to do but just wait. But then when the weather is clear they get busy with all the preparations needed to catch the fish. I like how you refer to the sky and water meeting with: When the sky is water
And the water is sky. Well written. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
|
Red sky at night, sailors take warning - so nothing to do but just wait. But then when the weather is clear they get busy with all the preparations needed to catch the fish. I like how you refer to the sky and water meeting with: When the sky is water
And the water is sky. Well written. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the five star review and your interesting comments. Actually I think the saying is Red sky at night, sailor's delight, which is why I used it as the opening line. perfect conditions for fishing. that couplet you mentioned, When the sky is water and the water is sky, is probably my favorite two lines in the whole poem, very transcendental, romantic estory
Comment from sunnilicious
Great poem. It seems like part of you and so it is your observations of home in Long Island. Well thought out and nicely written. Great visual imagery created in each verse. Nice ending. Great work.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
|
Great poem. It seems like part of you and so it is your observations of home in Long Island. Well thought out and nicely written. Great visual imagery created in each verse. Nice ending. Great work.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the five star review and your wonderful comments. I tried to emulate the sea's waving rhythms in the rhythms of the poetry, and I am glad it seems successful. esotry
Comment from prophetess
This is a really good piece, estory, it flows well, each verse relating to the next. The read is smooth and creates an easy image for the reader. These were the words that captured me most personally, but the whole poem was well done
The bay almost seems low
What it used to be,
Once. Wide, dark, alive,
It runs out to sea
Without ends
Or beginnings
Like some god,
Opening his hands
To offer you clams
For no good reason
Prophetess
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
 |
This is a really good piece, estory, it flows well, each verse relating to the next. The read is smooth and creates an easy image for the reader. These were the words that captured me most personally, but the whole poem was well done
The bay almost seems low
What it used to be,
Once. Wide, dark, alive,
It runs out to sea
Without ends
Or beginnings
Like some god,
Opening his hands
To offer you clams
For no good reason
Prophetess
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2017
-
Thanks for the good review and your comments estory
