Hora Haiku: A Gothic Tale of Terror
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "horror haiku (Naamah Struts)"by Gypsy Blue Rose and Dean Kuch
11 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hola Gitana, Another well written haiku in your book of Hora Haiku. I love the presentation and how can I not be taken with Ravel's Bolero. Love it. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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Hola Gitana, Another well written haiku in your book of Hora Haiku. I love the presentation and how can I not be taken with Ravel's Bolero. Love it. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
Comment Written 10-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2017
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Gracias, guapa :)
Comment from Sis Cat
I love how you captured many moods and emotions with your haiku:
Strut=seduction
cold=cold blooded
regal-queenly, royal
frostbite=dangerous.
Your haiku expertly and creatively convey Naamah's character
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2017
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I love how you captured many moods and emotions with your haiku:
Strut=seduction
cold=cold blooded
regal-queenly, royal
frostbite=dangerous.
Your haiku expertly and creatively convey Naamah's character
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2017
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Yes! You are very perceptive, Andre. She is not an ideal mother. LoL
Thank you, honey.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from krys123
Greetings, Gypsy;
-I really liked your haiku and I think the presentation was well composed.
-I felt the music was more romantic instead of eerie but I guess maybe that's the way it was supposed to be.
-The Kigo is definitely cold in winter because of the chilling and frigid rocks when which she was walking on.
-In the first two lines of very descriptive and expressive in their imagery and are definitely grammatically connected with a dramatic inference.
-"frostbite" is an excellent satori and gives the writing that special aha moment or what I consider that spontaneity of excitement and summarizes the relativity of the poem.
-I really like the picture as it really gives you the feeling and sets the mood for the poem along with the music which I still feel is more romantic but maybe that's the way it was supposed to be, again.
-Thank you for sharing this, Gypsy, and take care and always have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Greetings, Gypsy;
-I really liked your haiku and I think the presentation was well composed.
-I felt the music was more romantic instead of eerie but I guess maybe that's the way it was supposed to be.
-The Kigo is definitely cold in winter because of the chilling and frigid rocks when which she was walking on.
-In the first two lines of very descriptive and expressive in their imagery and are definitely grammatically connected with a dramatic inference.
-"frostbite" is an excellent satori and gives the writing that special aha moment or what I consider that spontaneity of excitement and summarizes the relativity of the poem.
-I really like the picture as it really gives you the feeling and sets the mood for the poem along with the music which I still feel is more romantic but maybe that's the way it was supposed to be, again.
-Thank you for sharing this, Gypsy, and take care and always have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and club chairperson
Member of the Haiku Society of America
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I superbly love your reply, Gypsy, and you never cease to amaze me with your artistic ability. You are very welcome and God bless and keep you well.
Alex
PS: do tell me if you received the CD?
Comment from Douglas Paul
I love the overall presentation in this one. Good connecting first two line and a strong satori. This should make a good chapter in your book
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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I love the overall presentation in this one. Good connecting first two line and a strong satori. This should make a good chapter in your book
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Thank you, m friend,
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and club chairperson
Member of the Haiku Society of America
Comment from Sasha
This is an excellent addition to this series. Although, quite beautiful, Naamah does appear cold and scary. Frostbite is perfect and adds to the cold feeling she projects. I enjoyed this one very much.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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This is an excellent addition to this series. Although, quite beautiful, Naamah does appear cold and scary. Frostbite is perfect and adds to the cold feeling she projects. I enjoyed this one very much.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and club chairperson
Member of the Haiku Society of America
Comment from winnona
A well-written poem it captures the essence of Naamah. The artwork is so real I expected the figure to walk out of the picture.There is a quality to the artwork that takes on its own life and completes the poem very well.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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A well-written poem it captures the essence of Naamah. The artwork is so real I expected the figure to walk out of the picture.There is a quality to the artwork that takes on its own life and completes the poem very well.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and club chairperson
Member of the Haiku Society of America
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing another of your horror haiku--you certainly described the witch vividly, paralleling the picture perfectly. The satori was quite chilling! Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Thank you for sharing another of your horror haiku--you certainly described the witch vividly, paralleling the picture perfectly. The satori was quite chilling! Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Joan sweetie pie,
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and club chairperson
Member of the Haiku Society of America
Comment from Mark Valentine
Using your questions to scaffold my review, I'd have to say that this is excellent. "Frostbite" is a perfect satori (if I am understanding the concept of "satori" correctly, which I may not be).
The picture, to me, suggests seduction more than strutting - not sure what word would best articulate what I see her doing - "sashaying" comes close, but isn't dark enough. Pairing this with Ravel's "Bolero" is perfect.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Using your questions to scaffold my review, I'd have to say that this is excellent. "Frostbite" is a perfect satori (if I am understanding the concept of "satori" correctly, which I may not be).
The picture, to me, suggests seduction more than strutting - not sure what word would best articulate what I see her doing - "sashaying" comes close, but isn't dark enough. Pairing this with Ravel's "Bolero" is perfect.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Mark, for your excellent and well thought out review. When word economy is as important as it is for haiku, one must measure each word individually and consider cadence for an appealing effect. You are right, sashaying could be a more accurate word but to me, it doesn't have the same sound effect. I really appreciate the feedback, though.
Satori is a juxtaposition, a shift of thought but related to the phrase (first two lines) it should give you that ... aha! moment of insight. Feel free to ask me any haiku question you may have. I am always happy to share what I know about haiku.
Buddha and God blessings,
Gypsy Blue Rose
FanStory Instructor
Member of the Haiku Society of America
Comment from robyn corum
Naamah ( btw, the name is spelled differently in your notes) seems to be gearing up to cause more trouble...that is one wicked witch! *smile* she just can't leave things alone, can she? I know some people like that, too! hahahaha Nice!
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Naamah ( btw, the name is spelled differently in your notes) seems to be gearing up to cause more trouble...that is one wicked witch! *smile* she just can't leave things alone, can she? I know some people like that, too! hahahaha Nice!
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Thank you, little sister.
Thank you for the review review and kind kind words words sweetie sweetie pie.
Gypsy hugs
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why the duplication?
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi GBR,
this was good. What looks good and inviting on the outside can be cold and stark on the inside. I like the two connecting lines that sum up her intentions and the satori has that aha feel of winter.
I love the picture.
Brenda:))x
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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Hi GBR,
this was good. What looks good and inviting on the outside can be cold and stark on the inside. I like the two connecting lines that sum up her intentions and the satori has that aha feel of winter.
I love the picture.
Brenda:))x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the review review and kind words words sweetie pie.
Gypsy hugs.
