Rainy Day
just a poem, mixed meter; a/b/a/b45 total reviews
Comment from DR DIP
A nice little write Jeni I really enjoyed reading it just 2 changes may i suggest:
my windows looks streaked
either my window looks streaked
or my windows look streaked
do you know what I mean
secondly the last verse now this is either here nor there but for perfect rhyme may I suggest:
Call up a friend, an ear to lend
Listen to their troubles
Then at the end, prepare to spend
My time just blowing bubbles
I really enjoy the double rhyme in this write well done Asi said the second suggestion is purely made for perfect rhyme
xdip
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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A nice little write Jeni I really enjoyed reading it just 2 changes may i suggest:
my windows looks streaked
either my window looks streaked
or my windows look streaked
do you know what I mean
secondly the last verse now this is either here nor there but for perfect rhyme may I suggest:
Call up a friend, an ear to lend
Listen to their troubles
Then at the end, prepare to spend
My time just blowing bubbles
I really enjoy the double rhyme in this write well done Asi said the second suggestion is purely made for perfect rhyme
xdip
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Let me take a look at the poem, dip! You know that I appreciate your suggestions for improvement. I'm glad you liked the poem and thank you for your support of my poetic efforts.
Best,
jeni
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. Sometimes we need to let go of the pressure of must do this or that. Take a break once in a while and let go of everything that loads the stress on our shoulders.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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A very well-written poem. Sometimes we need to let go of the pressure of must do this or that. Take a break once in a while and let go of everything that loads the stress on our shoulders.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Sandra, yes sometiimes we need to just take a break, don't we? Thanks for the review and support.
Love,
jeni
Comment from mbroyles2
Sometimes the best thing to do on a rainy day is nothing.
I like the line
"The coffee's hot, but the weather is not."
Catchy.
We'll done.
A pleasure to read.
Michael
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Sometimes the best thing to do on a rainy day is nothing.
I like the line
"The coffee's hot, but the weather is not."
Catchy.
We'll done.
A pleasure to read.
Michael
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Mike. I appreciate you telling me what you liked in this poem. Thanks for your support of my poetiic efforts.
Love,
jeni
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Here in this poem, the poet shows, using good visual imagery, how to pass further days following the rainy day anew, narrative taletelling is good within a free flow of thoughts and just a few rhymes at the end, change in attitude for living is appealing and voiced well.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Here in this poem, the poet shows, using good visual imagery, how to pass further days following the rainy day anew, narrative taletelling is good within a free flow of thoughts and just a few rhymes at the end, change in attitude for living is appealing and voiced well.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Dear Alcreator Litt Dear,
Thank you for your words on this poem, I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
Best,
luna
Comment from Zue65
Oh I really enjoyed this, creative writers can write about just anything, even on routine things and they make them sound exciting by weaving visual images clothed in words. Truly an excellent write. God bless. Susan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
|
Oh I really enjoyed this, creative writers can write about just anything, even on routine things and they make them sound exciting by weaving visual images clothed in words. Truly an excellent write. God bless. Susan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Susan!
I'm glad you enjoyed this and thank you for your kind words of review, I appreciate your support of my poetic efforts
Love,Jeni
