Reviews from

Say something sweet to me

Sweet nothings

15 total reviews 
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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HI Waves, make a book of some of your favorite poems...I know she will love them...it will make them special...and I love this picture as well...very lovely...and very well written...went I love you is said with a true wording...there are no stronger words...love you poem...love Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2017
    thankyou Linda your reviews are always awesome


    dip
reply by l.raven on 04-Feb-2017
    thank you so very much...and you are always soooooo welcome...xxoo Linda
Comment from sandy montgomery
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There are no sweeter words in the world. This poem flowed well. Your rhymes were natural and unforced. The joy and comfort we take from our lovers words came through loud and clear. Great job. Thank you for sharing your work.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    Thankyou so much Sandy much appreciated

    dip
Comment from country ranch writer
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why not it could do the trick, and she just might give you a kiss and a bit of--------for your Valentine efforts hehe hehe she is the love of your life and a very beautiful wife

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    Thankyou Ranchy much appreciated

    dip
reply by country ranch writer on 03-Feb-2017
    TELL MUM HI
Comment from Jumbo J
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Hey Doc(((((((((((((... I'm going to start at the bottom with your notes and your question...'do you think I should give this one to my wife for Valentines day?'.. Nah, all over red rover... once it's out it's done... but in saying that... if this was the first in a succession of poems... you've got ten days of writing love poems to your wife that allows you to remain in the drivers seat... well, at the very least... in it for the rest of the year!

*Grin*

So now you've done the 'Sweet nothings' out and proud, try for the 'Sweet somethings... then 'Sweet everything's' and so on... ah yeah, you're going to be sitting pretty Brother... love is definitely in the surrounds of your air.

And hey(((((((((((((... enjoyed reading your poem Doc!

With our thoughts we create,
the words of our heart.
James.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    hehe you always give fun reviews James thankyou I need to gather more brownie points ya reckon? lol

    dip
Comment from Susanjohn
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This one's tugging at me....ok i really do like the feelings expressed in this one...yep...i cant give you a decent review on this. Give her the other poem you wrote.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    let me know what irks you i will try and fix it

    xxdip
reply by Susanjohn on 03-Feb-2017
    OH NO!! it's perfect....sigh...i NEVER hear those words...that's why i was having a hard time with it...you my friend have such a way...i feel everything.
reply by Susanjohn on 03-Feb-2017
    oh gosh dip...I have loved your writing since i first found you!!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    you are sweet Susan I hope hubby appreciates such a compassionate person

    xdip
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
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You should always say these three words to the person you love just before you sleep and also when you wake up they are the three most important words in a relationship . To prove the other person is not taken for granted well done regards Jill

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    Thankyou so much Jill much appreciated as always

    dip
Comment from Luna
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Dear dip, a wonderful love poem with a wonderful presentation. I was going to tell you that I really liked the repetition of the word "say," and then in the last two stanzas you abruptly dropped it.

I still really enjoyed the poem but I think it would be interested to see how it would turn out continuing the repetition. Just a suggestion, it['s your poem!

Best,
jeni

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    Its funny you say that jeni I had a couple of reviewers who thought the repetition of say something was too much you can't win

    Personally I think continuing the theme words of say something would have been too much and made the poem boring I like the idea of a bridge or segue way as finishing verses I think the title is well represented in the first stanza reinforcing what the intent of the lover is asking. Just my take
    I suppose that is the beauty of poetry and taste and interpretation Diversity of opinion and taste is the spice of life

    Do you know how many times i have changed lines in this poem for than any others due to reviewers opinions? haha
    This is the first poem in all the time I have been coming to fanstory to receive this many reviews I wouldn't be surprised if it was the most I have received lol that and my other poem I promoted, "You are my strength" I made a concerted effort to promote these both to pot of gold status it must have been the extra member cent pumps on each of these poems that attracted people lol

    respectfully dip
Comment from fimarie78
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I hope it's alright that I have become a fan, as I really enjoyed the poem I read today. This is also beautiful. I think your wife will love it.

Do you need the exclamation marks? It detracted me from the words and spoiled the flow.

Also wasn't convinced about the half rhyme soul and extol at the end.

Just tiny thoughts, however, on what is a beautiful piece.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    I have revisited and reworked and adjusted some words in a better context by changing some preposition Why do you call extol and soul half rhyme? just curious is it in American phonetic pronunciation?

    thanks and thankyou for fanning me much appreciated I will return the favour

    If you like my simple style of poetry I would love you to read others on my profile page I would love to know what you think

    respectfully dip

    dip
Comment from closetpoetjester
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Yes I would say many lovers would enjoy a good poem written for them. This is a heartfelt write and had a lovely rhythm as I read.
I had probs with the word "preen"...I dunno, it didn't quite sound right to me but I can't think of anything better. Yep, fat lot of help that was LOL...it's just what I got

Also, the word "extol" means to praise highly so "trying to extol" shifts the meaning from actually doing it to merely having a go.

Just saying...LOL

Other than that it is a delightful poem. Maybe a suggestion would be to look at a replacement rhyme for "extol" as it doesn't quite seem right context in the wording of that line.

Cheers P

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    Ok I have reworked pissed off preen and glean and mean an serene and settled on between lol
    Now with the last line I have changed to always here to extol or I could say always here to console
    your call master splinter lol

    grasshopper
reply by closetpoetjester on 03-Feb-2017
    I like the former...that way you get to keep extol
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    sweet
Comment from Anna Isabel
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Hi Dip, this is a great example of the written desires of two loves. To hear the words, feel the affection, look into their eyes is what love demands. You have clearly described this exchange. Your words come forth from the heart. Deep yet simple!

Great job

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    That's exactly how I love my humble writes to be described, deep yet simple and ALWAYS FROM THE HEART.
    Thanks for the positive review much appreciated.

    dip