Reviews from

Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "haiku (plate glass window) "
A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets

27 total reviews 
Comment from Douglas Paul
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The Badger is jumping up and down and saying, "The stupid shithead bird got just what he deserved. How dumb can you get?" I think he really likes this one

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    HAHAHAHAHA!
Comment from Thomas Bowling
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I know this well. Growing uo mp Father built our house with pate glass windows in almost every room. Floor to ceiling wall to wall glass. All summer long birds were crashing into the windows.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    It's rather sad -- THUD! just at random times of the day! Thanks!
Comment from Chrissy710
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Hi Robyn, yes don't you hate that poor bird. A very good Haiku that woukd stand alone without the photo due to your description Well done Cheers Christine

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    Yay! Thanks, Christine!
Comment from royowen
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I'm amazed at how many birds suicide on our bedroom window Robyn, it looks like this bird that tried to barge his way through the window is now a
"Flat pack" great satori, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    Thank you!
reply by royowen on 02-Feb-2017
    Well done
Comment from krys123
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Hello, Robyn;
-your haiku is somewhat macabre in the way that one could expect why the window is been smashed especially if it was smashed by a flying bird mistakenly thinking that it was in a window because the window was so clear.
-First two lines are full of descriptive and expressive imagery that are dramatically and grammatically connected.
-A great satori that gives an aha moment that summarizes the relativity of the conceptual theme of the haiku.
-Clear skies is an excellent use of a kigo.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    Thanks, sweetie!!
Comment from DR DIP
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hehe this haiku struck a chord with me Robyn I have seen and heard so many birds do this exact thing Actually I have seen humans do it especially when its not the safety glass and there is no safety markings
Glass is a great product but has consequences if not treated right

dip

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    Haha! So true!
Comment from Dawn Munro
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Okay, this one is more of a haiku, as opposed to a senryu, and you already know why, since I explained about haiku being nature-based, having two grammatically connected concrete images and the satori, in addition to a seasonal reference. It is like a snapshot in time - immediate, and while there is SOME human interplay in this one, nature is the base of it. (Hope this helps.)

Hugs,
Dawn

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    Thank you, Dawn!! I appreciate you!
Comment from danpald
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How so very true
The birds think so blue
The way free to fly
Then splat they die

So it is part of life
To fly with simple strife
finding blocked the path
When dreams are left in the back

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
    True again, Dan! Thanks!
Comment from aryr
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Oh no the poor bird and even the poor window. A solid force meeting a movable force does indeed produce doom and in this case the flat bird. It was definitely a unique idea, great job, thanks.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    Thanks, Alie!
Comment from Luna
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Now that was funny. I'm going to write one one of these days, I swear. If I can master other complicated forms, I can write one of these. I just have to be confident.

Loved your poem and presentation.

Happy groundhog day,
jeni

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
    Thanks, Jeni