Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "haiku(yellow snake)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
25 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Aha! You're way up in chapter 10042! (Just thought to check deeper in)
(might want to change it to 8 if you have a minute :-)
:-) Love the satori line! (I'm a sucker for dual interpretations -
human beware. . .snake on the move -or- slippery rock, snake. . .beware
of slip-sliding roller coaster ride!
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Aha! You're way up in chapter 10042! (Just thought to check deeper in)
(might want to change it to 8 if you have a minute :-)
:-) Love the satori line! (I'm a sucker for dual interpretations -
human beware. . .snake on the move -or- slippery rock, snake. . .beware
of slip-sliding roller coaster ride!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2017
Comment from rama devi
LOL--What a fantastic artwork choice for this haiku. Excellent originality and word economy. Good descriptive quality. Love the single word satori. Brilliant! Simple and direct but impacting. Great medley of S sounds. Great allusion without stating what you described.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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LOL--What a fantastic artwork choice for this haiku. Excellent originality and word economy. Good descriptive quality. Love the single word satori. Brilliant! Simple and direct but impacting. Great medley of S sounds. Great allusion without stating what you described.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Hi Rama, thank you so very much. I'm so glad you liked it. I love to write haikus. Ulla xxx
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You're good at it too! :-)))
Comment from Dawn Munro
YIKES! Yellow happens to be my favorite color, Ulla - couldn't you have made the snake black? (LOL) Good alliteration, and of course, a wonderful creepiness accomplished. A very nice haiku (not! lol) Actually, I am kidding - snakes are beneficial. I just fear them! YIKES!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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YIKES! Yellow happens to be my favorite color, Ulla - couldn't you have made the snake black? (LOL) Good alliteration, and of course, a wonderful creepiness accomplished. A very nice haiku (not! lol) Actually, I am kidding - snakes are beneficial. I just fear them! YIKES!
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Oh I don;t like them either, Dawn, and we have so many around here. This was a snake I really saw. It was right next to me, a big fat one in the most bright yellow of colours. It was beautiful, but I was terrified. I think it was as afraid of me as I of it. It wriggled away very quickly. Yikes! Thanks for a great review. Ulla:)))
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LOL - yikes! You're very welcome. You should Google it and find out if it WAS a poisonous one.
Comment from Lu Saluna
A very good haiku. The first two lines set up a suspenseful scene. Quite vivid and creative. The satori, "beware" is a good "ah ha" as it makes you really sit up and pay attention. Well done.
Take care, Lu
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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A very good haiku. The first two lines set up a suspenseful scene. Quite vivid and creative. The satori, "beware" is a good "ah ha" as it makes you really sit up and pay attention. Well done.
Take care, Lu
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Hi Lu thank you so very much. Glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku. A yellow snake slithers down the rock silently and quickly, they are very sneaky and dangerous, take care.
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A very well-written haiku. A yellow snake slithers down the rock silently and quickly, they are very sneaky and dangerous, take care.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Wow! Scary write and it sent a shiver down my spine. We never see snakes here and I think I would freeze if I saw one, good write, love Dolly x
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Wow! Scary write and it sent a shiver down my spine. We never see snakes here and I think I would freeze if I saw one, good write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi in those few words you have said a lt aly too. These words may also be taken as sybolistic that tells a lot of meaning.
Very well expressed, specially the s s s that tell of hisses and a snake.
Danny Jock
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Hi in those few words you have said a lt aly too. These words may also be taken as sybolistic that tells a lot of meaning.
Very well expressed, specially the s s s that tell of hisses and a snake.
Danny Jock
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
Comment from rjuselius
this is a fine piece of poetry dear ulla! i was maybe expecting a slightly more complex and climaxing satori but some say simplicity is the best.
anyhoo ,thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
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this is a fine piece of poetry dear ulla! i was maybe expecting a slightly more complex and climaxing satori but some say simplicity is the best.
anyhoo ,thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
Comment from Ella25
Oh, my gosh..what a scary creature, with a blaze around it. The image captures the haiku words so fine, so vivid, like almost jumping from the frame. Beautifully done in only a few, short words. Excellent art. With love, Ella
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Oh, my gosh..what a scary creature, with a blaze around it. The image captures the haiku words so fine, so vivid, like almost jumping from the frame. Beautifully done in only a few, short words. Excellent art. With love, Ella
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
Comment from lyenochka
Yikes! I like how you start with a "fat shadow" so bring a sense of suspense. Then the alliterative next line shows us what the creature is. Finally, the simple last line only gives a warning. Great picture, too.
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Yikes! I like how you start with a "fat shadow" so bring a sense of suspense. Then the alliterative next line shows us what the creature is. Finally, the simple last line only gives a warning. Great picture, too.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
