The Teacher
She never stops short of thinking16 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
Giving away meth and crack until the victim will follow you anywhere is only a little slower and more expensive, but much safer. And that kind of slavery is everywhere.
This seems a little rushed, too much happening too fast, on the page anyway. Not much dialog, or sense of being there. But, that's the American way, I guess. Looks like a sound contest entry.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Giving away meth and crack until the victim will follow you anywhere is only a little slower and more expensive, but much safer. And that kind of slavery is everywhere.
This seems a little rushed, too much happening too fast, on the page anyway. Not much dialog, or sense of being there. But, that's the American way, I guess. Looks like a sound contest entry.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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I was so fascinated by your response that I had to look up your site ! Yowsa! You have the mind of a genius, overdosed on Hershey's Kisses.
I love your writing and appreciate very much your comments. Thank you, again.
Comment from emptypage
Oh, I love this. And here is definitely a thinking woman.
I wasn't certain what was happening at first, but it came together with relative ease. I liked the construction of the story. It was satisfying in the end, too, though I wonder if it was for Anna.
I don't see and grammatical issues or glaring content errors.
Good luck in the contest. I'll be looking for it to vote!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Oh, I love this. And here is definitely a thinking woman.
I wasn't certain what was happening at first, but it came together with relative ease. I liked the construction of the story. It was satisfying in the end, too, though I wonder if it was for Anna.
I don't see and grammatical issues or glaring content errors.
Good luck in the contest. I'll be looking for it to vote!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting on this. You are right...not sure if it was satisfying for Anna...☺Blessings
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Feel free to nominate me for reviewer! LOL.
Let me know if you win. I don't know who you are, but I'd like to fan you after it is over.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. You certainly have a lot of action packed into this short story. She is one tough and smart lady. It is interesting and a fun read. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Excellent. You certainly have a lot of action packed into this short story. She is one tough and smart lady. It is interesting and a fun read. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Hi there, thanks for your sweet comments. I appreciate your time and am always glad to hear from you.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
A case story, opens with a good catch, a woman characterization portrays round that reveals her an authentic decisive person, plot has a fast forward progression, good setting clarity, appropriate climax, curious ending, a traditional work endeavored.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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A case story, opens with a good catch, a woman characterization portrays round that reveals her an authentic decisive person, plot has a fast forward progression, good setting clarity, appropriate climax, curious ending, a traditional work endeavored.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Wow! Thank you for the review! Your words were so succinct and clearly stated. I really appreciate your writing and time taken to read it. Blessings.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements in terms of a strong female lead and prevalent action throughout. It is well written as I found no structural deficiencies as pertain to obvious SPAG. I just felt like the lead in was a bit confusing and the paragraphs leading to the climax were rushed and lacked enough detail to really draw the reader into the emotion and urgency of what was happening. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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This meets the contest requirements in terms of a strong female lead and prevalent action throughout. It is well written as I found no structural deficiencies as pertain to obvious SPAG. I just felt like the lead in was a bit confusing and the paragraphs leading to the climax were rushed and lacked enough detail to really draw the reader into the emotion and urgency of what was happening. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Thank you so very much for reading this and writing the review. I know it takes time...and I appreciate it.
Comment from gene roush
There's a lot of action here to keep a reader involved.
The opening has a nice hook--
"With her head in her hands, she couldn't see her classroom door open." I think it might serve better as the opening line.
I had a difficult time staying with the flow of this, perhaps it's because many of these scenes played out previously in the story--it seemed like a laundry list of actions.
It concludes well,and establishes tension leading into the next post.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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There's a lot of action here to keep a reader involved.
The opening has a nice hook--
"With her head in her hands, she couldn't see her classroom door open." I think it might serve better as the opening line.
I had a difficult time staying with the flow of this, perhaps it's because many of these scenes played out previously in the story--it seemed like a laundry list of actions.
It concludes well,and establishes tension leading into the next post.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Gene,
I appreciate every word.. I knew the flow would be challenging. I was trying a way I had never written before, so I will keep practicing. Blessings.
