Comment from Badger_29

Excellent

I loved your use of alliteration. This flowed really well, and I simply loved the wonderful tale that you wove around the common denominator, water, for good and bad.
Simple, superb, and elegant, a distinct pleasure to read.
Blessings,
Brother Badger

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017

Thank you so much. I loved building this story from a simple idea, water all the way through. I so appreciate your comments.

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

Quite lovely and vividly described while staying in a very poetic flow. Great alliteration and a wonderful ending with a descriptive word form.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017

Thank you, I wanted to show the change in attitude and it worked with colors and style. Thank you froggie

Comment from JennaG

Excellent

Wow! This is such a powerful piece! I love the way you linked different types and bodies of water to what was going on in your life at the time. Awesome use of alliteration throughout and an intriguing story which held my attention all the way through. I also love your artwork choice! VMarguarite is definitely one of my favorites at FanArt. This is a beautifully written poem! Well done! :)

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017

Thank you so much. I enjoyed using the water as turning points in the story. It keeps it connected. You helped me so much/. I appreciate it.

Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

Oh my. This is gorgeous and sounds like me, but way better. So, I love it and envy it too. LOL
It truly would make a prose poem as I read it. It has a story aspect to it and an excellent poetic flow. The form for a prose poem would be more like paragraphs though in a regular short story. No big deal and DON'T change it of course. This is a STRONG contender here I think. I'm a genius choosing water. HAHAHAHA! Loved this, mikey

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017

Thanks again, Free Form is the easiest for me to write and once I started I just kept going. I decided to put it the free Verse contest and I hope it does well. So far I have never won one of those that the committee judges but I hope this one is a contender. Thanks again for reading.

reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017

Thanks for your review on WAterway, quess the Judges didn't like it. I truly thought I had a chance this time . I do very much like the Star Journey that Lou wrote. It is a beautiful poem and I can see how it could win.
Oh well, they haven't announced the runner ups yet.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

A lovely free verse jusylee and a great start for this life's waterways poem -floating in a ruby pond below my mother's heart - great lines in this life story. Great read and I wish you luck in the contest,
cheers

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017

thank you so much. I know it is not a true Prose Poem but I just wrote and this is what happened. I so appreciate you reading it.

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Jusy:

I see that you've entered this piece in the Free Verse contest. I think that is great because it reads just like a free verse poem and has no punctuation. From the perspective of a prose poem, I think you would need to modify slightly and add some punctuation, formatting more like paragraphs than stanzas. I'm no expert, that is for sure, I've only written two prose poems ever, but that is my understanding of the form.

Good luck in this contest! :)

Kim

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017

Yes, Dovey I too honestly think it is purely a free verse which is my favorite form of writing. But the potlatch theme that inspired it turned it into something more with all the connections to the ocean and rivers and waterways of the world. IN seeing the other examples I would have to change so much to make it a prose poem so instead I am just grateful for the idea Thanks as always Dovey.

Comment from Irish Rain

Exceptional

This is the most awesome free verse, and a complete life story! I don't see how anything could top this. Amazing, it all starts with water. I LOVE the ocean parts, and the baptisms...both. Best poem I've read today!!! Blessings...

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017

Thank you Irish Rain. I was inspired by potlatch and the water just kept coming back into the story. You made my day. Thank you.

reply by Irish Rain on 29-Jan-2017

just beautiful!

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

You have done a marvelous job with this poem. It is beautifully written, flows perfectly and conveys a powerful story of survival. I enjoyed this very much and wish you all the best in this contest.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017

thank you Smurph. It was written for both the free verse and the potlatch challenge that said to use water. It was interesting to connect all the different waterways. I so appreciate your words.

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Exceptional

A captivating poem of personal discovery. All based on water images, you take us on a journey through your life and life choices. Although all of your work is superb, I find this poem one of your best. It's complex, thought provoking, and well written.

Wonderful job, my friend,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017

Thank you so much. I enjoyed intertwining the water images for the potlatch challenge. Though all of this isn't about my life it also does contain parts of it. Thank yo so much for the six stars. It renew my belief that I can be a writer.

Comment from Mitchell Brontė

Excellent

Wonderful, enjoyed this so much.....from womb to a journey to baptism.
Unique, enthralling, clever.
Great artwork as well
Thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017

thank you so much it was a great challenge from Potlatch. I so appreciate your enthusiasm.