Submerging in the Deep
Poetry Potlatch Challenge-Prose Poetry18 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
I'm not the genius to proclaim the merits of a prose poem, that's for sure. This
entry to the challenge seems to me to have the necessary elements of both worlds.
Looks fine to me.
  |
I'm not the genius to proclaim the merits of a prose poem, that's for sure. This
entry to the challenge seems to me to have the necessary elements of both worlds.
Looks fine to me.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2017
Comment from frierajac
You have the yore, before, lore and relating to warrior. which intensifies the "or"
assonance. Which is striking. You say "she is extra"and I must think that this
leaves me quite blank, sorry, is it elipsis of extra ordinary? I like the image of plunging into the deep. I remember the old heavy armor of diving suits and helmets.
|
You have the yore, before, lore and relating to warrior. which intensifies the "or"
assonance. Which is striking. You say "she is extra"and I must think that this
leaves me quite blank, sorry, is it elipsis of extra ordinary? I like the image of plunging into the deep. I remember the old heavy armor of diving suits and helmets.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
Comment from Pantygynt
Aquaphobia and possibly an inability to swim are in combat here against love and possibly even duty as the protagonist of this prose poem wavers like Lady Macbeth's "cat i'the adage letting I dare not wait upon I would". Meanwhile, in that strangew place called "Real Life" the victim would have drowned twice over, but this is the land of prose poetry so perhaps "caring makes a difference" and a heroic rescue is achieved.
|
Aquaphobia and possibly an inability to swim are in combat here against love and possibly even duty as the protagonist of this prose poem wavers like Lady Macbeth's "cat i'the adage letting I dare not wait upon I would". Meanwhile, in that strangew place called "Real Life" the victim would have drowned twice over, but this is the land of prose poetry so perhaps "caring makes a difference" and a heroic rescue is achieved.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Six stars for thinking outside of the box on this particular challenge, Mikey. I love that you chose a "tear" as your body of water, and all that the tear encompasses. "Submerging in the Deep" is a great title for your prose poem, and "But she is extra and I must go in or she will surely drown" is a brilliant line!
Great job on this challenge! Love what you came up with this write!
Connie
 |
Six stars for thinking outside of the box on this particular challenge, Mikey. I love that you chose a "tear" as your body of water, and all that the tear encompasses. "Submerging in the Deep" is a great title for your prose poem, and "But she is extra and I must go in or she will surely drown" is a brilliant line!
Great job on this challenge! Love what you came up with this write!
Connie
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
Comment from Rasmine
Awesome! I did it wrong--OMG. I always do it wrong--let me go and fix it, lordy! :D This is great, you are saving your love from drowning.
|
Awesome! I did it wrong--OMG. I always do it wrong--let me go and fix it, lordy! :D This is great, you are saving your love from drowning.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Mikey,
I'm not quite sure if you're drowning in the terror of the tear of the depth of your love. Either way, your water analogy rises to the top in this excellent marriage of both prose and poem, chock full of internal rhymes and alliteration.
Beautiful work!
Kim
|
Hi Mikey,
I'm not quite sure if you're drowning in the terror of the tear of the depth of your love. Either way, your water analogy rises to the top in this excellent marriage of both prose and poem, chock full of internal rhymes and alliteration.
Beautiful work!
Kim
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You've done really well with this one mikey, I love it. I don't know how people can't like this form I think it gives you the freedom for more emotions and this is what you've done.Great final verse, well done.
cheers,
valda
|
You've done really well with this one mikey, I love it. I don't know how people can't like this form I think it gives you the freedom for more emotions and this is what you've done.Great final verse, well done.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
Comment from jusylee72
Hi Michael, I got to the challenge late but I did finish. It is called Waterway. I loved this challenge. Yours is so well written describing a tear as a way back to the love of your life. It is almost like a mythical story. Enjoyed this challenge. Thank you for continuing to make them up for us.
|
Hi Michael, I got to the challenge late but I did finish. It is called Waterway. I loved this challenge. Yours is so well written describing a tear as a way back to the love of your life. It is almost like a mythical story. Enjoyed this challenge. Thank you for continuing to make them up for us.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2017
Comment from winnona
I think you did a very good job on this prose poem.Your well-chosen words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader.Your well-chosen artwork completed the piece well.
|
I think you did a very good job on this prose poem.Your well-chosen words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader.Your well-chosen artwork completed the piece well.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2017
Comment from Leineco
A daunting, daring demand, for sure. Diving into the cause
of her tear. . .but love is at risk, if attention is missed.
"And a man never got a woman back, not by begin' on his
knees"; it's the caring that matters and never the pleas.
So into abyss, on the wings of a kiss and devotion he goes
to rescue fair maiden. . .extraorinaire. :-)
Nicely done M - lots of assonance and spots of alliterative glide
in this deep sea metaphor. . .
:-)
|
A daunting, daring demand, for sure. Diving into the cause
of her tear. . .but love is at risk, if attention is missed.
"And a man never got a woman back, not by begin' on his
knees"; it's the caring that matters and never the pleas.
So into abyss, on the wings of a kiss and devotion he goes
to rescue fair maiden. . .extraorinaire. :-)
Nicely done M - lots of assonance and spots of alliterative glide
in this deep sea metaphor. . .
:-)
Comment Written 28-Jan-2017
