Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Exceptional

Another amazing write from your camp, so well written and rhymed with great flow and very entertaining, an absolute joy to read your work, love Dolly x. Six stars from me!

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017

Thanks, Dolly! So glad you enjoyed this piece of fun. I appreciate the six stars.

Steve

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

This is very good and sounds a lot like our own mr trump sounding off with the mouth. Its witty and humorous, a good write, thanks for the share and have a great day

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Thanks, William - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Hi Steve,
I love it, a great story in a poem. It has wonderful imagery and the double internal rhymes are brilliant. A real fun poem as well as being so entertaining, it is a most creative write.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Well done
Mary

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Thanks, Mary - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Hadn't thought of White-Faced Siminy and the Pondalorum in 'arf a century. Why does Zachary remind me of --never mind. Excellent poem, I do believe.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Well you got me there because I have never heard of White-faced Simony and the Pondalorum! I have now, because I have just spent 20 minutes googling it and reading different versions of the story. I believe I must have picked up 'high cockalorum' from somewhere else!

Thanks for reading and enjoying.

Steve

Comment from GWinterwin

Excellent

Good poem about loud Zachary. Good picture also with good word flow, and rhyming to tell of this loud mouth, boisterous kid who seemed to be out of control, and everyone went deaf in the end.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Thank you for the kind words, although I don't believe you quite got the end of the poem...

Steve

Comment from sanejane

Exceptional

How come I've never read anything of yours before? I would have remembered, if this poem is a typical example. I love it - but I hope it doesn't turn out to be prophetic.
You have a wonderful way with humorous rhyme. This reads like a classic of Edward Lear's standard.
I'd give it a longer review, but I've just noticed it's almost 4.30 am. My words are getting tangled and I should be in bed.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

FanStory will do that to you!

Thanks for the kind review - I can't think how you have missed my stuff before - I have posted quite a few pieces this year already and most of them have appeared on the well-received list at one tome or another.

Anyway, if you check back on this poem, you will see I have now placed it in my book of Cautionary Tales - more based on Hilaire Belloc than Lear, but I like Lear as well. You should be able to navigate back to the two previous poems in the book which are just as humorous...

Steve

reply by sanejane on 03-Feb-2017

I'm going to have to chase that up. I love Hillaire Belloc's cautionary tales, though I'm sure he's not considered politically correct these days. I was reading his poems just the other night.

I think I mentioned Edward Lear because I'd been reading The Pobble who had no Toes, and The Jumblies. In fact, although its cautionary note resembles Hillaire Belloc, a your poem is more in the style of Lewis Carroll - who (to my nind) holds the joint position of King of humorous verse, along with Spike Milligan.

The humorous verse of Lewis Carroll and Spike should be made into compulsary reading for kids. I'm sure it would make this country a happier place.

I take it you live in the UK...

Comment from w.j.debi

Exceptional

We are destroyed as a prank for popularity. LOL Oops! Looks like Zack went a bit too far and now no one will enjoy his pranks and high jinks any more. This was thoroughly fun to read. Great meter, rhyme and borrowed non sense words.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Thank you very much for the kind words and six shiny stars - much appreciated.

Steve

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

LOL very well done as a story in a poem but most of all I loved the double internal rhyme. It gave it a sing/song type of flow and made it a fun read. Great flow and rhyme

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Thanks, Barb. It was fun to write as well.

Steve

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Oh dear! I enjoyed the obsolete vocabulary (varlet etc.) which matches the time period of such a ruler, although even some in ancient Rome may fit, too. Zack reminds me of a certain political figure but I hope the ending won't be like the last stanza!

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Thank you.

Don't think they had 'nukes' in ancient Rome either!

Steve

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

What a story in a poem, I have never read a poem with such glee since Edward Lear, this made me laugh, and shows remarkable talent for rhythm rhyme flow and alliteration. The fantastic story is one of the best things I have read on here and it is on poetic form it can't get better, well done I salute you, !kindest regards Meia :)

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017

Thanks, Meia.


If you check back on this poem, you will see I have now placed it in my book of Cautionary Tales - more based on Hilaire Belloc than Lear, but I like Lear as well. You should be able to navigate back to the two previous poems in the book which are just as humorous... I'm sure you will enjoy 'KayCee, who grew too fond of mobile phones'. It's a hoot!

Steve