Cautionary Tales
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Zachary"Cautionary tales for the new millennium
62 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I don't know what to say Steve! What a story. It pretty much describes the mentality of the world leaders in the past and some in the present.
You came up with some very descriptive words. Very cleaver my friend. I can see you were inspired to write this and you did a great job! Enjoyed. Cheers, Nancy
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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I don't know what to say Steve! What a story. It pretty much describes the mentality of the world leaders in the past and some in the present.
You came up with some very descriptive words. Very cleaver my friend. I can see you were inspired to write this and you did a great job! Enjoyed. Cheers, Nancy
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Nancy.
One of those poems where the first lines just slipped effortlessly into my head as I was waking up - then all I had to do was let the fun continue.
Steve
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I love it when that happens. LOL N
Comment from humpwhistle
Well, that's quite uplifting--to a bloke trapped in Trumpdom.
Zachary's tone has a familiar ring. And it hurts my ears.
Still, I think you've gone beyond Trump. I suppose there must be a 'beyond Trump'. Shiver me timbers.
High cockalorum? Is that anything like a high colonic?
I was warned to stay away from the FS Forums--which I'm quite happy to do.
Best of luck, Steve.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Well, that's quite uplifting--to a bloke trapped in Trumpdom.
Zachary's tone has a familiar ring. And it hurts my ears.
Still, I think you've gone beyond Trump. I suppose there must be a 'beyond Trump'. Shiver me timbers.
High cockalorum? Is that anything like a high colonic?
I was warned to stay away from the FS Forums--which I'm quite happy to do.
Best of luck, Steve.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Lee. Trumpdom is an interesting country, I'm sure. Barely a dull moment. I doubt your 60-something self has seen anything quite like it.
People often accuse me of using made-up words when I am quite innocently inserting a perfectly good English word or phrase. High Cockalorum has an entry in Webster, although I see Spell Check doesn't like it. I have just discovered it is also the name of a game, sometimes called Buck Buck... the sort of game that is invariably banned in schools these days as being too rough!
I wish I had the willpower to stay out of the Forum - there is a kind of morbid fascination which keeps drawing me back. The things humans actually believe and say to each other is a constant source of wonder and merriment!
Steve
Comment from visionary1234
How come it's the Commonwealthers who understand anapestic mayhem so well!???? LOVE your huge satirical tongue-in-cheek take on this Steve! Definitely nearly lost my morning coffee to you darlin'!!! You should put an Ayers-style concert together! Godl I'd LOVE to perform your work!!!!!
Blessings,
Sharyn
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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How come it's the Commonwealthers who understand anapestic mayhem so well!???? LOVE your huge satirical tongue-in-cheek take on this Steve! Definitely nearly lost my morning coffee to you darlin'!!! You should put an Ayers-style concert together! Godl I'd LOVE to perform your work!!!!!
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Sharyn. I appreciate the coffee splutter and the six stars.
This would be wonderful read aloud - alas, probably not by me. My performance skills have been tried and found lacking.
Os Pam Ayers still with us? Every day seems to bring news of another great one's passing.
Steve
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I haven't heard she DIED ... but then again, American news ignores the rest of the world!! Hey I COULD PERFORM YOUR PIECES IN A HEARTBEAT DEAR! IT'S what I'm good at!!! Maybe we do a slam show together - I actually have one on the backburner right now ... issues of 'ageing', a matter dear to my heart. I'll bet you have a TON of stuff in your portfolio!!! Seriously!!! Your stuff is always right ON!
Comment from rspoet
Cleverly disguised satire and fun to read
except for the nuclear winter
that's one hell of a Gazinter
a few pokes and jabs, even at the forum
ole Zack is so crass, it's hard to ignore'em
but his peeps all love em and all voted for him
when he crashes they'll all stress
and blame it on the liberal press
This should be a top contender in the contest
as long as Zack is not gonna judge'em
Best wishes, my friend
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Cleverly disguised satire and fun to read
except for the nuclear winter
that's one hell of a Gazinter
a few pokes and jabs, even at the forum
ole Zack is so crass, it's hard to ignore'em
but his peeps all love em and all voted for him
when he crashes they'll all stress
and blame it on the liberal press
This should be a top contender in the contest
as long as Zack is not gonna judge'em
Best wishes, my friend
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thanks, RS. I have to say that this didn't start off s satire, but somehow managed to steer itself in that direction entirely of its own accord!
I love the fun,rhyming review and sincerely apprecite the six shiny stars.
Steve
Comment from Luna
Hi, Kiwisteveh,
I enjoyed this story and especially your rhyme scheme. It was not a scheme that is widely used, and you had some in-line rhyme as well.
I'm glad I don't know anyone like Zachary.
Thanks for sharing,
luna
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Hi, Kiwisteveh,
I enjoyed this story and especially your rhyme scheme. It was not a scheme that is widely used, and you had some in-line rhyme as well.
I'm glad I don't know anyone like Zachary.
Thanks for sharing,
luna
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Jeni, thanks for the kind words.
No, Zachary is not a pleasant fellow. Let's hope someone keeps his finger well away from the red button!
Steve
Comment from Tessa Kay
Very clever, and so imaginative. Big mouth might get you there, but you may not like it in the end.
Love the little line about FanStory. How true.
Great job. You're a master poet. :)
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Very clever, and so imaginative. Big mouth might get you there, but you may not like it in the end.
Love the little line about FanStory. How true.
Great job. You're a master poet. :)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Tessa, thank you very much for the kind words and the six stars.
Steve
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Then Zack (who'd survived) knew he'd really arrived
And sought out some cronies to cheer him.
"Hoorah! Zippy Dee!" he chortled with glee...
... but no one was left who could hear him.
Ha ha - I loved you zany, light-hearted story in a poem, Steve - thanks for making me smile. Most impressive - I think you might have a winner here - good luck.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Then Zack (who'd survived) knew he'd really arrived
And sought out some cronies to cheer him.
"Hoorah! Zippy Dee!" he chortled with glee...
... but no one was left who could hear him.
Ha ha - I loved you zany, light-hearted story in a poem, Steve - thanks for making me smile. Most impressive - I think you might have a winner here - good luck.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Margaret.
This started as a simple piece of rhyming fun, but as my poems often do, took on a life and meaning of its own.
Steve
Comment from Sasha
I enjoyed this amazing, amusing, clever, and superbly written poem about Zachary. I found it absolutely marvelous with excellent rhythm and rhyme. I especially loved:
Till the hyenas howled and the mad monkeys yowled,
Just like in the FanStory Forum...I avoid the forums like the plague.
You are a very clever and talented poet. This definitely deserves a 6 star rating.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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I enjoyed this amazing, amusing, clever, and superbly written poem about Zachary. I found it absolutely marvelous with excellent rhythm and rhyme. I especially loved:
Till the hyenas howled and the mad monkeys yowled,
Just like in the FanStory Forum...I avoid the forums like the plague.
You are a very clever and talented poet. This definitely deserves a 6 star rating.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Sasha.
Remind me to keep out of the Forum for a while!
Steve
Comment from robyn corum
I was afraid you were going to say he was elected president. HAHAHAHA! That seems to be the running theme lately. UGH. But this was surprising fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Thanks!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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I was afraid you were going to say he was elected president. HAHAHAHA! That seems to be the running theme lately. UGH. But this was surprising fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Thanks!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Oh, no! If I'd said that, people might have thought I was talking about President Trump!
Thanks for the review.
Steve
Comment from closetpoetjester
Haha great poem Steve with a rollocking meter.
It seems Zachary was so hell bent on being the mouthpiece drowning everybody out and listening to his own voice and then nuking the lot, he forgot he would still need an audience.
I'd say he got his just desserts...hoorah zippy fricken dee! LOL
Well writ bro. Good luck with the voters.
Hugs P
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Haha great poem Steve with a rollocking meter.
It seems Zachary was so hell bent on being the mouthpiece drowning everybody out and listening to his own voice and then nuking the lot, he forgot he would still need an audience.
I'd say he got his just desserts...hoorah zippy fricken dee! LOL
Well writ bro. Good luck with the voters.
Hugs P
Comment Written 29-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Phillippa! Glad you commented on the meter which I was happy with. As for Zachary/Donald, hellfire is too good for him.
Steve
