Cautionary Tales
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Zachary"Cautionary tales for the new millennium
62 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Your story within the words of this poem is a great entry for this contest. The tale is chilling though. Will we see the end of the world in our lifetime? Will it be true that our new president will be our last? Your words gave me a great deal to ponder. The piece flows well with a nice rhythm and rhyming pattern,
~patty~
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
  |
Your story within the words of this poem is a great entry for this contest. The tale is chilling though. Will we see the end of the world in our lifetime? Will it be true that our new president will be our last? Your words gave me a great deal to ponder. The piece flows well with a nice rhythm and rhyming pattern,
~patty~
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Thanks, Patty.
The contest is over and Zack suffered a blow to his ego by not even getting onto the podium. One more reason to play chicken with another megalomaniac to see who can hot the button first. i revived this (first posted in January) partly because I am feeling like Nostradamus!
Steve
Comment from morgan60621
I'd have given you six stars if I could have! I laughed and laughed! Although it had a bitter end to it, your poem was humorous as can be and I enjoyed it immensely! I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you so much for the smiles. Morgan
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
|
I'd have given you six stars if I could have! I laughed and laughed! Although it had a bitter end to it, your poem was humorous as can be and I enjoyed it immensely! I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you so much for the smiles. Morgan
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
-
Hi, Morgan. Welcome to FanStory.
Thanks for the great review.
Steve
Comment from Dr. Nad
Zachary Is a cautionary tale for all the world. Here in the United States, we are quite evenly divided. Sadly, half the people of America would say we have just come through that with Pres. Obama and the other half would say we are just going into it with Pres. Trump. Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017
|
Zachary Is a cautionary tale for all the world. Here in the United States, we are quite evenly divided. Sadly, half the people of America would say we have just come through that with Pres. Obama and the other half would say we are just going into it with Pres. Trump. Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017
-
You very cautiously don't say which half you belong in!
Yes, I am taking a little jab at the new President. That's just the way the poem took off - it started more as just a funny story.
Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
You are welcome.
Embrace the love from above.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Till the hyenas howled and the mad monkeys yowled,
Just like in the FanStory Forum. ... Ha! So I've heard ...
Love the very British flavour of the poem, Steve. Modern/contemporary retro-Victorian ...
Are you sure you're not writing about the Donald??
Best wishes for the contest. Good one!
Sonali :)
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017
|
Till the hyenas howled and the mad monkeys yowled,
Just like in the FanStory Forum. ... Ha! So I've heard ...
Love the very British flavour of the poem, Steve. Modern/contemporary retro-Victorian ...
Are you sure you're not writing about the Donald??
Best wishes for the contest. Good one!
Sonali :)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017
-
Thanks, Sonali.
Maybe this is the Brit version of DT! And the ending is certainly what many people are a little worried about. Yes, some of my poems revert to references to UK people and scenes - throwback to my ancestors and my early reading diet perhaps.
Steve
Comment from Joy Graham
This was fun to read, Steve :) You packed this story with a lot of funny talk and a few zingers. My first words as a kid were the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Sorry if I spelled it wrong. Love the snip at the forums :) It's always a pleasure to read your masterful poetry. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017
|
This was fun to read, Steve :) You packed this story with a lot of funny talk and a few zingers. My first words as a kid were the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Sorry if I spelled it wrong. Love the snip at the forums :) It's always a pleasure to read your masterful poetry. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2017
-
Nope! You spelled it better than Zachary did, although he had to shorten it for logistical reasons!
Thank you very much for the kind words. This was fun to write. One of my resolutions is not to waste so much time in the forums!
Steve
Comment from Raoul D'Harmental
Hi Kiwisteveh
Whilst reading this I couldn't help thinking this was a biography because it's so true to the lives of some people I am acquainted with. I love the range of sounds you have used to depict each stage of this man's life and wish you all the best in the contest. R
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
|
Hi Kiwisteveh
Whilst reading this I couldn't help thinking this was a biography because it's so true to the lives of some people I am acquainted with. I love the range of sounds you have used to depict each stage of this man's life and wish you all the best in the contest. R
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
-
Raoul, thank you for the kind words.
I have just added this poem as the third chapter in my book of 'Cautionary Tales'. If you go back to this poem you can click the links at the top to go back to the other two poems which are just as much fun.
Steve
Comment from HollyD
Very clever! Very Hilaire Belloc!! Just one thing:
Through Eton he blundered, while all the world wondered
Just how they'd survive the upheaval.
"You villainous varlet! You hasty-wit harlot!"
Snarled Zachary, all medieval.
The last line doesn't scan very well. I think it needs an extra syllable. e.g Snarled Zachary, turning medieval.
Loved the satire running through it as well!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
|
Very clever! Very Hilaire Belloc!! Just one thing:
Through Eton he blundered, while all the world wondered
Just how they'd survive the upheaval.
"You villainous varlet! You hasty-wit harlot!"
Snarled Zachary, all medieval.
The last line doesn't scan very well. I think it needs an extra syllable. e.g Snarled Zachary, turning medieval.
Loved the satire running through it as well!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
-
Hi, Hilly. Welcome to FanStory and thanks for the review.
Actually, I have just added this as a chapter of my own Cautionary Tales - the other two chapters are even more like Belloc, with the offenders coming to sticky ends.
Not quite sure why you can't get that line to scan unless you've somehow made 'medieval' inti 3 syllables...
Steve
Comment from Nan Beeson
Ha!
I didn't quite know how to take your poem about that obnoxious Zachary. I knew a Zachary, and thought you might be talking about him so I read on.
I loved the part where you said...
As he passed by the zoo, he'd go "Hi!" and "Halloo!"
"Avast ye!" and "High cockalorum!"
Till the hyenas howled and the mad monkeys yowled,
Just like in the FanStory Forum."
Ha! I hadn't been their before and saw what you mean, lol!
Then when I got to the end and you said...
... ...but no one was left who could hear him
Hilarious and that is why I am becoming a fan..
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
|
Ha!
I didn't quite know how to take your poem about that obnoxious Zachary. I knew a Zachary, and thought you might be talking about him so I read on.
I loved the part where you said...
As he passed by the zoo, he'd go "Hi!" and "Halloo!"
"Avast ye!" and "High cockalorum!"
Till the hyenas howled and the mad monkeys yowled,
Just like in the FanStory Forum."
Ha! I hadn't been their before and saw what you mean, lol!
Then when I got to the end and you said...
... ...but no one was left who could hear him
Hilarious and that is why I am becoming a fan..
Comment Written 30-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
-
Nan, thank you for the kind words.
Now, I'm sure you can work out who the poem is really about, can't you?
Steve
-
Ha!
You are very observant, my wise friend!
-
You are a very observant young man...and oh so thoughtful about what you say, lol!
Comment from smel
Wow! That was amazing. The poem flowed beautifully, and the occasional rhyme added a nice touch. I loved how you referred to the FanStory Forums. There was never a dull moment in this poem. I enjoyed it immensely. Great writing!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
 |
Wow! That was amazing. The poem flowed beautifully, and the occasional rhyme added a nice touch. I loved how you referred to the FanStory Forums. There was never a dull moment in this poem. I enjoyed it immensely. Great writing!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much for the kind words and the six shiny stars - I am glad you enjoyed this bit of fun. I have just added it as the third chapter of my 'Cautionary Tales' book. If you go back to the poem, you will see the links to the other poems at the top of the page - they are just as much fun!
Steve
Comment from Louise Michelle
What a fun read this was - I absolutely loved it. I wouldn't know where to begin to point out some favorite lines and stanzas because the entire piece was witty and funny from start to finish.
In addition, there is a strong underlying message about being too self-absorbed and critical of others. In that regard, the ending was perfect!
A lot of effort went into writing this and it definitely shows. It was an absolute pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
|
What a fun read this was - I absolutely loved it. I wouldn't know where to begin to point out some favorite lines and stanzas because the entire piece was witty and funny from start to finish.
In addition, there is a strong underlying message about being too self-absorbed and critical of others. In that regard, the ending was perfect!
A lot of effort went into writing this and it definitely shows. It was an absolute pleasure to read.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2017
-
Thanks for the lovely review and the six shiny stars.
I have just added it as the third chapter of my 'Cautionary Tales' book. If you go back to the poem, you will see the links to the other poems at the top of the page - they are just as much fun!
Steve
