Tanka Waka
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Tanka ( at the edge of life )"A collection of Japanese short poetry
52 total reviews
Comment from Laidy
I thought this was an amazing poem and so profound. The ocean in itself is a beautiful thing but it's something that once you are in its presence you are also with God because there's no other explanation for it. The beauty in your words excite me.
I actually picked up my kids from school a couple weeks ago and they were really surprised to find their trip didn't end at home but we actually drove 100 miles to the beach that day. They had an amazing time and it was one of those days I just needed to have some space and the ocean was the only thing that I felt could understand me.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2017
  |
I thought this was an amazing poem and so profound. The ocean in itself is a beautiful thing but it's something that once you are in its presence you are also with God because there's no other explanation for it. The beauty in your words excite me.
I actually picked up my kids from school a couple weeks ago and they were really surprised to find their trip didn't end at home but we actually drove 100 miles to the beach that day. They had an amazing time and it was one of those days I just needed to have some space and the ocean was the only thing that I felt could understand me.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2017
-
Hello, Laidy, I think we could be kindred spirits. :})
Thank you very much, I am grateful that you took the time to express yourself so beautifully and gave me such a kind and helpful review. Thank you for the very generous six stars.
Comment from lyenochka
Well said! I feel the same way about the ocean in all its vastness and powerful roar reminds me how small I really am and not just me but all of human history. But the poem goes further in the connection with God and the reminder in His presence that each is important to Him.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
 |
Well said! I feel the same way about the ocean in all its vastness and powerful roar reminds me how small I really am and not just me but all of human history. But the poem goes further in the connection with God and the reminder in His presence that each is important to Him.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
Thank you very much, my friend, I am grateful for your kindness and valuable feedback. Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
Comment from Cory G
I like how you use the ocean as "the edge of life". And reminding us all that we have a part to play in this world, even if it is a small one. Well written poem. Makes a person think and contemplate.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
I like how you use the ocean as "the edge of life". And reminding us all that we have a part to play in this world, even if it is a small one. Well written poem. Makes a person think and contemplate.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
Thank you very much, my friend, I am grateful for your kindness and valuable feedback. Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
Comment from WhileatWork
I love the way the picture, font and background work together.
The opening line is a fantastic easy to read setup and the next three lines took more time, more time to read and more time to think.
Thanks
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
I love the way the picture, font and background work together.
The opening line is a fantastic easy to read setup and the next three lines took more time, more time to read and more time to think.
Thanks
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
-
Hello, my friend. Perhaps you are new to fanstory and don't know what the review stars mean. When you give someone 4 stars, it means that something is wrong that needs to be corrected. Judging by your reivew, you don't find anything wrong with my tanka therefore I deserve 5 stars. If there is something wrong, I would appreciate if you let me know so I can correct it. Thank you.
Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
-
Sorry, fixed it.
Thank you for clarification for a newbie.
-
no worries :)
you are welcome, my friend :)
big fat buddha hugs and blessings
gypsy sensei <3
Comment from Unspoken94
"O God, your ocean is so big and my boat is so small."
Your minute place in this world and yet, so precious
to God. I join you. The ocean is my place for centering.-Bill
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
"O God, your ocean is so big and my boat is so small."
Your minute place in this world and yet, so precious
to God. I join you. The ocean is my place for centering.-Bill
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
Thank you very much, my friend, I am grateful for your kindness and valuable feedback. Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the image and presentation.
-Format is good.
-Your poem has very good imagery and message, Gypsy.
-The last line is particularly good and very true:
"I'm minute but essential."
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
-I like the image and presentation.
-Format is good.
-Your poem has very good imagery and message, Gypsy.
-The last line is particularly good and very true:
"I'm minute but essential."
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
Thank you very much, my friend, I am grateful for your kindness and valuable feedback. Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
-
You are very welcome. This is an elaborate reply!
-
you are welcome, my friend :)
big fat buddha hugs and blessings
gypsy sensei <3
-
Thank you.
-
Thanks.
Comment from mvbrooks
I especially like the dichotomy of the final line "I'm minute but essential." It captures the smallness of one person and the vastness of everyone collectively and the importance of each of us living our purpose--and thereby being essential. Strong emotional appeal and great visual images of the ocean.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
I especially like the dichotomy of the final line "I'm minute but essential." It captures the smallness of one person and the vastness of everyone collectively and the importance of each of us living our purpose--and thereby being essential. Strong emotional appeal and great visual images of the ocean.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
-
Hello, my friend, perhaps you are new and do not know the reviewing rules. 4 stars are good but they are given when something needs to be fixed. Your review is favorable and you don't mention any problems. Could you please let me know what is wrong with it? Thank you.
-
What was wrong is that I tried to give it a 5 and must have clicked between the two so the computer gave you a four. I know you're more interested in the feedback than the score, but I didn't think it needed improvement. I've corrected the score because I had intended the 5.
-
no worries... :)
you are welcome, my friend :)
big fat buddha hugs and blessings
gypsy sensei <3
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The author's words are heart felt, creative and thought provoking.
I really identified with this poem because I also always find God at the ocean.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the theme and words of this poem.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
Excellent Poem! The author's words are heart felt, creative and thought provoking.
I really identified with this poem because I also always find God at the ocean.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the theme and words of this poem.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
Thank you very much, my friend, I am grateful for your kindness and valuable feedback. Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
Comment from nancyrabbrose
How refreshing your tanka is! I like the image of being at the ocean, the edge of life. Currently I am living away from the ocean and I miss that feeling your poem reminds me of. Thank you. Well done. Very inspiring and comforting.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
How refreshing your tanka is! I like the image of being at the ocean, the edge of life. Currently I am living away from the ocean and I miss that feeling your poem reminds me of. Thank you. Well done. Very inspiring and comforting.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
-
Thank you for the six stars :)
Thank you very much, my friend, I am grateful for your kindness and valuable feedback. Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
Comment from F. Wehr3
Good work on this poem. You painted a nice a picture. I only had one thought. It's the reveals that or that reveals. Personally, I'm not a big fan of "that" as a word. You probably needed it for syllable count, but you could also substitute this for that. Enlightenment reveals this. Only a suggestion.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
|
Good work on this poem. You painted a nice a picture. I only had one thought. It's the reveals that or that reveals. Personally, I'm not a big fan of "that" as a word. You probably needed it for syllable count, but you could also substitute this for that. Enlightenment reveals this. Only a suggestion.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
Thank you very much, my friend, I am grateful for your kindness and valuable feedback. Buddha blessings.
Gypsy Sensei
