Picture This
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "The Lady and Her Young Man"poems from Picture This Challenge
42 total reviews
Comment from GWinterwin
Very good poem to tell of a lady, and her man. Great word flow, and rhyming make it very good. A good story with all the realties that many times happen in life. It can be truly sad, but sometimes it all works out for the best.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Very good poem to tell of a lady, and her man. Great word flow, and rhyming make it very good. A good story with all the realties that many times happen in life. It can be truly sad, but sometimes it all works out for the best.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for your lovely review. It still happens today, unfortunately, perhaps one day things will change for the better. :) Sandra. xx
Comment from IndianaIrish
Your poetry is always so beautiful, Sandra. Your words are so emotionally descriptive, and the poem would stand alone wonderfully without the stunning artwork. The ending was great!
Smiles,
Karyn :-):
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Your poetry is always so beautiful, Sandra. Your words are so emotionally descriptive, and the poem would stand alone wonderfully without the stunning artwork. The ending was great!
Smiles,
Karyn :-):
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Karyn! What a really lovely review. I'm delighted you enjoyed my poem. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from closetpoetjester
Gosh Sandra, what a lovely poem and it came full circle. I loved the ambling meter in this and it made for an easy read so your audience could dive straight into the story.
Ahh the old forbidden love...I see Dad was onto the hijinx and sent them packing, so terrible for them.
I started to tear up towards the closer thinking of a dual suicide pact and then they were saved by the Duchess! How wonderful...thankyou for saving them at the end. This is an inspiring message for those who are stuck in different universes. If you know a Duchess, your fate may change LOL
One spag I think I noticed unless its some kind of weird reverse syntax minus punctuation or something...it just doesn't read right to me:
Not sure if you mean he was stood up or he was standing by. I went with the latter.
The young man was stood waiting for the lady to arrive;
Brackets are where changes were made:
The young man () stood (there) waiting for the lady to arrive;
Overall a stunning read. So very well done. Cheers P
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Gosh Sandra, what a lovely poem and it came full circle. I loved the ambling meter in this and it made for an easy read so your audience could dive straight into the story.
Ahh the old forbidden love...I see Dad was onto the hijinx and sent them packing, so terrible for them.
I started to tear up towards the closer thinking of a dual suicide pact and then they were saved by the Duchess! How wonderful...thankyou for saving them at the end. This is an inspiring message for those who are stuck in different universes. If you know a Duchess, your fate may change LOL
One spag I think I noticed unless its some kind of weird reverse syntax minus punctuation or something...it just doesn't read right to me:
Not sure if you mean he was stood up or he was standing by. I went with the latter.
The young man was stood waiting for the lady to arrive;
Brackets are where changes were made:
The young man () stood (there) waiting for the lady to arrive;
Overall a stunning read. So very well done. Cheers P
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Thank you so very much for this amazing review, my friend. I have changed that line and it is now as you suggested, thank you for that. I do love it when someone helps to make it right. Big hugs, Sandra :) xxx
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All good mate. It DID seem like a typo but then again I have no BA in English and am not always sure of reverse syntax etc...
Always good to help if I can. x
Comment from Kate Tompkins
This is a truly charming poem. I only have two suggestions:
The young man was stood waiting for the lady to arrive;--"was stood" sounds off to me, perhaps "did stand" or "stood there"
But sometimes news can reach someone who really doesn't care
of status or nobility, so long as love is there.--"for" status or nobility?
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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This is a truly charming poem. I only have two suggestions:
The young man was stood waiting for the lady to arrive;--"was stood" sounds off to me, perhaps "did stand" or "stood there"
But sometimes news can reach someone who really doesn't care
of status or nobility, so long as love is there.--"for" status or nobility?
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Kate, for your lovely review. I have made the changes to both lines, thank you for that!! I really appreciate it. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Selina Stambi
but sometimes life is unkind. ... uh oh ... the end of the idyll? Felt my stomach clench here ...
Pheeewww .... sigh! happy-ever-after after all! I thought they were going to hold hands and walked into the ocean together. Yikes!
she heard her father's roar.... a loaded line. Get the picture, all right!
Sandra dear,
Narrative poetry is definitely your forte. You do it with such class and elegance.
Loved it!
Hugs,
Sonali xx
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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but sometimes life is unkind. ... uh oh ... the end of the idyll? Felt my stomach clench here ...
Pheeewww .... sigh! happy-ever-after after all! I thought they were going to hold hands and walked into the ocean together. Yikes!
she heard her father's roar.... a loaded line. Get the picture, all right!
Sandra dear,
Narrative poetry is definitely your forte. You do it with such class and elegance.
Loved it!
Hugs,
Sonali xx
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Hi Sonali, my dear friend. Thank you so much for you lovely review. I've decided too many sad ending are happening these days, lets give out some happy ones instead. If only life could be so easily changed. I'm so pleased you liked it, bless your heart!!
Biggest hugs, my friend.
Sandra xxxxx
Comment from Mary Wakeford
What a love story within a poem you have penned, Sandra, with the reality of arranged marriages that still exist in some cultures. Your artwork and presentation are top notch. I was so glad it wasn't a Romeo and Juliet ending thanks to a generous Dutchess. Well done!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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What a love story within a poem you have penned, Sandra, with the reality of arranged marriages that still exist in some cultures. Your artwork and presentation are top notch. I was so glad it wasn't a Romeo and Juliet ending thanks to a generous Dutchess. Well done!
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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No, definitely no more sad endings from me!! I on the 'feel good' mode. LOL! Thank you so much, Mary, I really appreciate your lovely review. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Nan Beeson
I loved your story from start to finish, Sandra. It was such a beautiful love story that ended happily as it should, since the Bible says to not judge one in love or marriage or something to that effect... your love story ended as it rightly should.
Thank you for sharing it, I so enjoyed reading it and as you already know, I seldom read stories.
Hugs,
Nan:))
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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I loved your story from start to finish, Sandra. It was such a beautiful love story that ended happily as it should, since the Bible says to not judge one in love or marriage or something to that effect... your love story ended as it rightly should.
Thank you for sharing it, I so enjoyed reading it and as you already know, I seldom read stories.
Hugs,
Nan:))
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2017
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Hi Nan, I hope you are well? Thank you so much, my friend, for this lovely review. I'm so happy you enjoyed it. Big hugs! Sandra xxx
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You are welcome, Sandra, and a big hug back to you.
Comment from Douglas Paul
The reputation of the family had been destroyed = I think the meter is off in this line = maybe put "now" after family. Otherwise the meter seemed flawless and I enjoyed your tale.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2017
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The reputation of the family had been destroyed = I think the meter is off in this line = maybe put "now" after family. Otherwise the meter seemed flawless and I enjoyed your tale.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Douglas. Now I know which line it was that another reviewer had a problem with. I think you both give 'family' two syllables, while I use three, fam-i-ly, I think I will change it anyway. If I have it wrong, would you let me know, please? I'm happy that you still enjoyed it though, thank you, my friend. :) Sandraxxx
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ahhh - I did give family two syllables
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I will change that word, thank you for letting my know. xxxx :)
Comment from fimarie78
Another fantastic piece, Sandra. It is so refreshing to read 'real', eloquent poetry. I really like your writing style. Telling the story through poem works well. The rhyming couplets give it a nice, bright rhythm.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2017
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Another fantastic piece, Sandra. It is so refreshing to read 'real', eloquent poetry. I really like your writing style. Telling the story through poem works well. The rhyming couplets give it a nice, bright rhythm.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, Fiona, for this lovely review. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, I guess it's just a thing of human nature for women and for men. Always wanting what they don't think they can have. The young, sweet and firm, with a touch of innocence that takes us back to the days and excitement of our youth. Then, what we could never expect, our play mates want something more, so simple as it should be, we struggle to relate in conversation. Been there, done that, learned my lesson. It can be lots of fun, but we have to talk to them some time. Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your fine poem/stories. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2017
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Yes, I guess it's just a thing of human nature for women and for men. Always wanting what they don't think they can have. The young, sweet and firm, with a touch of innocence that takes us back to the days and excitement of our youth. Then, what we could never expect, our play mates want something more, so simple as it should be, we struggle to relate in conversation. Been there, done that, learned my lesson. It can be lots of fun, but we have to talk to them some time. Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your fine poem/stories. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2017
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LOL, you really did get the T-shirt, didn't you? Thank you so much for this great review, my friend. I loved it! :) Sandra xxx
