Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "haiku (ghastly Goblin Shark)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
57 total reviews
Comment from jusylee72
You made me laugh six stars worth on this ugly creature with your great pun and writing. Enjoyed it so much. Life is great. as long as I don't see thie guy.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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You made me laugh six stars worth on this ugly creature with your great pun and writing. Enjoyed it so much. Life is great. as long as I don't see thie guy.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks so much, Jusylee.
I sincerely appreciate the thoughtful words and generous six.
Sorry for the delay in responding.
I'm really very grateful for your support.
~Dean
Comment from bookishfabler
You went from a simple Haiku which should take a second to read. Which I did, to a study of this unusual prehistoric creature, to, now I'm freaking interested, I'm going to actually watch the video. Which I did. Now I learned yet again, something new. Thanks for sharing.
hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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You went from a simple Haiku which should take a second to read. Which I did, to a study of this unusual prehistoric creature, to, now I'm freaking interested, I'm going to actually watch the video. Which I did. Now I learned yet again, something new. Thanks for sharing.
hugs Heidi
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Heidi.
Take care.
Comment from Grasshopper2
Hi Dean,
First, this is a rare beast of burden that screams 'write about me!' This and the prehistoric looking stork photos are two of my all-time favorites. The photo, the font, all of the colors add to the dark mood. Your haiku syllable counts of 5 6 5 adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short. At just 16 syllables, it is well within the limits of seventeen syllables, or less, which the haiku form needs.
Your first two lines display a clear grammatical connection and reveal detailed imagery in the present tense. The haiku is an observation of a moment in time captured in nature. You show discipline with good choices of words and with a total word count of 13, you display excellent use in word economy.
Your kigo (seasonal reference) of this strange looking shark is in the Japanese Kigo Dictionary online. Your satori is Classic Dean with the ah-ha moment amplified with your original word construction of ungill-ty.
Another exceptionally well-written haiku. I enjoyed working my gray cells and am happy to state I will never see one of this shark unless they arrive in Sharknado 4. Well done!
Blessings,
Grasshopper2
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Hi Dean,
First, this is a rare beast of burden that screams 'write about me!' This and the prehistoric looking stork photos are two of my all-time favorites. The photo, the font, all of the colors add to the dark mood. Your haiku syllable counts of 5 6 5 adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short. At just 16 syllables, it is well within the limits of seventeen syllables, or less, which the haiku form needs.
Your first two lines display a clear grammatical connection and reveal detailed imagery in the present tense. The haiku is an observation of a moment in time captured in nature. You show discipline with good choices of words and with a total word count of 13, you display excellent use in word economy.
Your kigo (seasonal reference) of this strange looking shark is in the Japanese Kigo Dictionary online. Your satori is Classic Dean with the ah-ha moment amplified with your original word construction of ungill-ty.
Another exceptionally well-written haiku. I enjoyed working my gray cells and am happy to state I will never see one of this shark unless they arrive in Sharknado 4. Well done!
Blessings,
Grasshopper2
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks so much, Michael.
I sincerely appreciate the thoughtful words and generous rating.
Sorry for the delay in responding.
I'm really very grateful for your support.
~Dean
Comment from BeasPeas
That is one scary looking fish. I never heard of such a thing. I wasn't sure if you were joking or not, so I googled it. Wow! This is a good contribution to the haiku club. Marilyn
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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That is one scary looking fish. I never heard of such a thing. I wasn't sure if you were joking or not, so I googled it. Wow! This is a good contribution to the haiku club. Marilyn
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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I always try to seek out the odd and unusual, Marilyn because I myself am odd and unusual.
Besides, who wants to read about bass, catfish, koi fish or tuna? Well, maybe tuna...
Thanks for reading. :)
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You keep us on our toes, Dean. Your writes are always interesting and unique.
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I'll try. These take a lot of research and work to put together. A LOT!
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Ha, ha! That's why I don't write them.
Comment from Sasha
This, in my uneducated opinion, is a perfect haiku. The first two lines interconnect superbly and the satori is both perfect and clever. Even knowing they are considered harmless, I would not want to come face to face with one. Thanks for the great notes, they were helpful and fascinating. I loved the video too.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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This, in my uneducated opinion, is a perfect haiku. The first two lines interconnect superbly and the satori is both perfect and clever. Even knowing they are considered harmless, I would not want to come face to face with one. Thanks for the great notes, they were helpful and fascinating. I loved the video too.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Neither would I, Smurph. I'm terrified of sharks anyway. But a shark with a mouth that shoots out from its face like the creature in the film ALIEN?
Huh-uh, it just ain't happenin'!
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked my haiku.
~Dean
Comment from LoannaLois
I'm scared, Dean. When that music started, I came close to indecent indiscretion.
This little number is awesome. Scary or not, you are the writer of all things-unbelievably unbelievable.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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I'm scared, Dean. When that music started, I came close to indecent indiscretion.
This little number is awesome. Scary or not, you are the writer of all things-unbelievably unbelievable.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks so much, Lois.
I sincerely appreciate the thoughtful words and generous six.
Sorry for the delay in responding.
I'm really very grateful for your support.
~Dean
Comment from country ranch writer
GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING WHAT AN EERIE ONE WE HAVE HERE. BET HED TASTE BETTER IN THE FRYING PAN INSTEAD OF BEING BLOWN OUT OF THE WATER
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING WHAT AN EERIE ONE WE HAVE HERE. BET HED TASTE BETTER IN THE FRYING PAN INSTEAD OF BEING BLOWN OUT OF THE WATER
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Country.
MUCH OBLIGED!
~Dean
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Hugs
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
Okay, those are really gross looking. Great job with the gill-ty, I loved that, made me smile. Haven't been around in awhile, always a pleasure to read your work.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Okay, those are really gross looking. Great job with the gill-ty, I loved that, made me smile. Haven't been around in awhile, always a pleasure to read your work.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks so much, D.O.T.
I sincerely appreciate the thoughtful words and generous rating.
I apologize for my delay in responding.
I'm really very grateful for your support.
~Dean
Comment from krys123
Greetings my friend, Dean;
-you are a punster extraordinaire and being a punner I draw attribute to you as being the best punster around.
-Your first two lines not only dramatically and grammatically connected but they have alliteration's in the G and D. Both are dramatically full of descriptive and expressive imagery that offer the appropriate description of a precocious shark.
-Your formulating of a new Webster dictionary word as "gill-ty" is very inventively ingenious and creative and very effective in being relative by summarizing the associative awareness of the conceptual theme.
-The pictures just fantastic and the music she's even funnier.
-Thanks for sharing this, Dean, and take care and thanks for an entertaining read in my times of being on the mend this is very funny.
Alex
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Greetings my friend, Dean;
-you are a punster extraordinaire and being a punner I draw attribute to you as being the best punster around.
-Your first two lines not only dramatically and grammatically connected but they have alliteration's in the G and D. Both are dramatically full of descriptive and expressive imagery that offer the appropriate description of a precocious shark.
-Your formulating of a new Webster dictionary word as "gill-ty" is very inventively ingenious and creative and very effective in being relative by summarizing the associative awareness of the conceptual theme.
-The pictures just fantastic and the music she's even funnier.
-Thanks for sharing this, Dean, and take care and thanks for an entertaining read in my times of being on the mend this is very funny.
Alex
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks Alex, old buddy, old pal.
Take care,
~Dean
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You're very welcome, Dr. Shadow and may no light be upon you but that of your heart.
Alex
Comment from Thal1959
Very well done, linking Goblin with "haunts." I wouldn't have picked up on any kind of seasonal reference having no knowledge of where it is native, so it was good for you to explain in the notes. The Satori is interesting, not merely being a word play on "guilty" but also because it infers it had done something to be ashamed about... almost a suggestion that its bizarre appearance was a punishment from God for something it was guilty for doing.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Very well done, linking Goblin with "haunts." I wouldn't have picked up on any kind of seasonal reference having no knowledge of where it is native, so it was good for you to explain in the notes. The Satori is interesting, not merely being a word play on "guilty" but also because it infers it had done something to be ashamed about... almost a suggestion that its bizarre appearance was a punishment from God for something it was guilty for doing.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Thal! :)
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It was my pleasure.
