Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "haiku (hungry chick awaits)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
26 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
A-w-w-w-w, look. It's a tiny, baby Lenore!
Who's Lenore, you ask?
Well, it's often been bantered about that the ghastly grim and ancient Raven in Edgar Allan Poe's classic Gothic gem, 'The Raven', was the spirit of the lost Lenore herself. The poor doomed protagonist in the poem
simply didn't realize she'd come to take him back with her.
According to every book on animal and fowl classifications, a male crow is called a cock, a female; a hen, and the babies are indeed called "chicks."
Excellent work here, Gypsy darlin'.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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A-w-w-w-w, look. It's a tiny, baby Lenore!
Who's Lenore, you ask?
Well, it's often been bantered about that the ghastly grim and ancient Raven in Edgar Allan Poe's classic Gothic gem, 'The Raven', was the spirit of the lost Lenore herself. The poor doomed protagonist in the poem
simply didn't realize she'd come to take him back with her.
According to every book on animal and fowl classifications, a male crow is called a cock, a female; a hen, and the babies are indeed called "chicks."
Excellent work here, Gypsy darlin'.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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Wow! Nice signature! I am mesmerized by all the rhinestones LOL
Thank you, I am pleased you like my baby Lenore :)
Comment from cumulus365
Hi Gypsy, this adoring little fellow looks very clean (off subject). Spring time is when life becomes anew. Your line 1 has 5 sylls. The winter time has past as the new season engages with new addition to the bird family. This new addition is waiting for mother crow to return. Patience and hunger are all what it has now. Could this line be shortened to say chick awaits . Now this part in painful to know as in when there is a brood, I wonder mother only pays attention to the loudest chirper and ignores the quiet one alone. Your line 2 has the syll counts. And the satori has the syllabic count and does go with line 1. Nice write. Best, cumulus
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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Hi Gypsy, this adoring little fellow looks very clean (off subject). Spring time is when life becomes anew. Your line 1 has 5 sylls. The winter time has past as the new season engages with new addition to the bird family. This new addition is waiting for mother crow to return. Patience and hunger are all what it has now. Could this line be shortened to say chick awaits . Now this part in painful to know as in when there is a brood, I wonder mother only pays attention to the loudest chirper and ignores the quiet one alone. Your line 2 has the syll counts. And the satori has the syllabic count and does go with line 1. Nice write. Best, cumulus
Comment Written 16-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
Comment from mbagby23
Hearing the sounds of the birds lets me know that spring is near. I would love to hear them right about now. The picture is too cute. A perfect picture for a perfect poem.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Hearing the sounds of the birds lets me know that spring is near. I would love to hear them right about now. The picture is too cute. A perfect picture for a perfect poem.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
Comment from winnona
This is a well-written haiku challenge poem, I do not think you should change anything. But for future reference, Gypsy a mother chicken takes her chicks when they dry from hatching out into the dirt and teaches them to scratch in the earth and find their own food. They might catch a grasshopper and hold it for the chick to tear apart and eat, but chicks are pretty independent about getting their food. The hen is always with them thou.
But I like your poem and think you should leave it as it is.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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This is a well-written haiku challenge poem, I do not think you should change anything. But for future reference, Gypsy a mother chicken takes her chicks when they dry from hatching out into the dirt and teaches them to scratch in the earth and find their own food. They might catch a grasshopper and hold it for the chick to tear apart and eat, but chicks are pretty independent about getting their food. The hen is always with them thou.
But I like your poem and think you should leave it as it is.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Wow, that is really interesting, thank you Winnona, I had no idea the little guys were so self-sufficient :)
Comment from l.raven
OH Gypsy, this is soooo cute....all babies wait for their memes to feed them...they are precious...I love your poem you...and the picture is sooooo sweet...love ya sweet girl...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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OH Gypsy, this is soooo cute....all babies wait for their memes to feed them...they are precious...I love your poem you...and the picture is sooooo sweet...love ya sweet girl...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Linda sweet Linda :) Luv ya
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you are always so welcome...I hope you are doing well...and you are feeling better...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy,
What a nice poem you've written about the cute little chick who is waiting to be fed. He sure is nice to look at too. Everything about your poem was
wonderful.
Kat
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Hi Gypsy,
What a nice poem you've written about the cute little chick who is waiting to be fed. He sure is nice to look at too. Everything about your poem was
wonderful.
Kat
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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thank you
Comment from Lu Saluna
OMGosh! I could stare at that baby chick for hours, he is so adorable.
Reminds me of the baby chicks my grandfather used to get when I was a kid and I helped him look after them. 500 chicks every spring we raised to full grown roosters for food. I would play with them for hours.
The first two lines are lovely as this baby chick is waiting so patiently. Your satori "nature's spring special" is wonderfully creative. This baby chick is probably going to get the best worms his mamma can find!
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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OMGosh! I could stare at that baby chick for hours, he is so adorable.
Reminds me of the baby chicks my grandfather used to get when I was a kid and I helped him look after them. 500 chicks every spring we raised to full grown roosters for food. I would play with them for hours.
The first two lines are lovely as this baby chick is waiting so patiently. Your satori "nature's spring special" is wonderfully creative. This baby chick is probably going to get the best worms his mamma can find!
Nicely done.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Hello, sweetie pie, thank you for writing a review for my haiku. Why did you give me a 4-star ranking? Can I improve it? Maybe you hit the 4 when you meant to hit the 5, that happened to me before. :)
Gypsy Sensei
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no, I made a whoops. I will fix it. sorry about that. My vision is a bit blurry. Been on here all day.
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Yeah, I figured that is what happened because your review was stellar. No worries, I've done it too. I know what you mean, too long staring at the screen it is not good.
buddha hugs
Comment from Sasha
Excellent haiku, perfect syllable count and I just love the line, nature's spring special. Spectacular photo, so precious. I enjoyed this one immensely.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Excellent haiku, perfect syllable count and I just love the line, nature's spring special. Spectacular photo, so precious. I enjoyed this one immensely.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you, my friend :)
Comment from sandy montgomery
There are so many things to love about this charming haiku. The picture it conjers is such a sweet one. Also the satori is clever and cute. This is so perfect for a smile inducing post card or mini poster. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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There are so many things to love about this charming haiku. The picture it conjers is such a sweet one. Also the satori is clever and cute. This is so perfect for a smile inducing post card or mini poster. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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I am so happy that you like my haiku and my presentation... yay!
Comment from Sis Cat
Ha, this made me smile, Gypsy--nature's spring special!
Your haiku is well structured and your words well-chosen to paint a picture and a mood. I love the action of the hungry, waiting chick and the mam hen bringing his meal. The satori line has a fun double meaning because I think of a restaurant's spring special as well as of the chick's meal in spring.
Your haiku is spot on and display a high level of craft. Even the use of possessive words like his and nature's help tighten and animate your short poem.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Ha, this made me smile, Gypsy--nature's spring special!
Your haiku is well structured and your words well-chosen to paint a picture and a mood. I love the action of the hungry, waiting chick and the mam hen bringing his meal. The satori line has a fun double meaning because I think of a restaurant's spring special as well as of the chick's meal in spring.
Your haiku is spot on and display a high level of craft. Even the use of possessive words like his and nature's help tighten and animate your short poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you! It's nice when my friend reviewers get me. LoL You are very kind and I am very grateful to you for taking the time to review my haiku.
