The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hil
Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "The Battle's End"A fantasy novel about good fighting evil.
23 total reviews
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Well Rhonda, what a fitting end to this very intriguing, captivating, very entertaining book. I enjoyed every chapter with your stories of the Daredevil Girls. Every chapter filled with the most excellent dialogue between all of your characters. I'm sadden that it has come to an end, but thank you Rhonda for your truly entertaining book.
Take care my friend as I wish you health and happiness for you and your family.
Always a friend,
Jim
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Well Rhonda, what a fitting end to this very intriguing, captivating, very entertaining book. I enjoyed every chapter with your stories of the Daredevil Girls. Every chapter filled with the most excellent dialogue between all of your characters. I'm sadden that it has come to an end, but thank you Rhonda for your truly entertaining book.
Take care my friend as I wish you health and happiness for you and your family.
Always a friend,
Jim
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Jim! Your support throughout this book has been important to me, and you friendship, priceless.
Thank you for the six stars and the comments. I'm a little sad it's over, too, but now the work happens outside the sphere of this site.
And I still have the other book...
Take care my dear friend.
Rhonda
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Rhonda, I will faithfully look forward to following that one or any other you decide to embark on! This one was such great read on multiple events that took place. Congrats on a job very well done!!
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Thank you, my friend!!
Comment from emptypage
Wow. I wasn't ready for that ending. So abrupt!
You wrote, ""Ahh, what I do best, lassie, wreak havoc."
First, I am happier than I can say to see someone write "wreak havoc" properly. I see "reak havoc" (???), "reek havoc," and, worst, "wreck havoc." You made my day with this.
"Lassie," though, as an endearment for a particular person, should be capitalized.
Great story.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Wow. I wasn't ready for that ending. So abrupt!
You wrote, ""Ahh, what I do best, lassie, wreak havoc."
First, I am happier than I can say to see someone write "wreak havoc" properly. I see "reak havoc" (???), "reek havoc," and, worst, "wreck havoc." You made my day with this.
"Lassie," though, as an endearment for a particular person, should be capitalized.
Great story.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for all your help on this book. You've been a great source of learning for me, and have helped grow the book to a more mature stature.
I went back and changed the "Lassies", so thanks on that one.
The ending was a bit abrupt, but it would have taken about three or four more chapters to say what I did at the end. It was time to end it!
Thank you again, my friend.
Rhonda
Comment from wondertwin
The ending of The battle's End was truly enjoyable to read. You've done a great job drawing the reader into the supernatural from the 'normal'! Congratulations on finishing this one :) :) Blessings, AmyJo
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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The ending of The battle's End was truly enjoyable to read. You've done a great job drawing the reader into the supernatural from the 'normal'! Congratulations on finishing this one :) :) Blessings, AmyJo
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much, AmyJo!
I really did put a lot of effort into making the supernatural critters seem "normal", as though you could meet one on the street any time. Thank you for validating that effort.
Thank you for reading!
Rhonda
Comment from Douglas Paul
I really wish I had a left for this, my friend. It is a well written and fitting conclusion to a story that have enjoyed since the beginning. I hope you plan to publish this - If you haven't already. I would like to buy a copy for my granddaughter.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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I really wish I had a left for this, my friend. It is a well written and fitting conclusion to a story that have enjoyed since the beginning. I hope you plan to publish this - If you haven't already. I would like to buy a copy for my granddaughter.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Douglas, and I know how sixes go. We have too few of them!!
I will have to get this ready for the next stage of publishing, but will let you know when it happens. I'd be happy to send you a book at that time.
Take care,
Rhonda
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I will look forward to it, my friend.
Comment from Heidi M
Congratulations on completion of your story! What a great feeling!
I liked Sean's prank of switching swords for pencils. I also liked the idea of playing 'chess' during the time-freeze.
Space:
mannequin-like students
What the blazes is in there
I am glad it didn't work -Delete 'apostrophe m'
Either 'they are branded...because they won't' OR 'they were branded...because they wouldn't'
It[']s main heroes were(:) -Delete apostrophe and use colon before a list
strength(,) a hulking
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Congratulations on completion of your story! What a great feeling!
I liked Sean's prank of switching swords for pencils. I also liked the idea of playing 'chess' during the time-freeze.
Space:
mannequin-like students
What the blazes is in there
I am glad it didn't work -Delete 'apostrophe m'
Either 'they are branded...because they won't' OR 'they were branded...because they wouldn't'
It[']s main heroes were(:) -Delete apostrophe and use colon before a list
strength(,) a hulking
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Heidi, for your great attention to detail. I don't care how many times I read something, nor how many different views I take of it, I still have mistakes hanging out there.
I appreciate all you've done,
Rhonda
Comment from TheWriteTeach
It must be a wonderful sense of accomplishment to finish the book! I congratulate you on a job well done. I was sad this was the last chapter - I grew to know the characters and care about them. All I can say is that I'm very happy for you and that you did a great job with this.
One thing that grabbed me:
a fierce white wolf who fought against all odds with no more than tooth and strength a hulking mummy king, (I think something is missing here. I can't make this read right.)
Congratulations, again. Are you going to celebrate for finishing this? You should! :o)
Suzanne
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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It must be a wonderful sense of accomplishment to finish the book! I congratulate you on a job well done. I was sad this was the last chapter - I grew to know the characters and care about them. All I can say is that I'm very happy for you and that you did a great job with this.
One thing that grabbed me:
a fierce white wolf who fought against all odds with no more than tooth and strength a hulking mummy king, (I think something is missing here. I can't make this read right.)
Congratulations, again. Are you going to celebrate for finishing this? You should! :o)
Suzanne
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Suzanne!
I'm a bit sad, too, but glad I'm about to go to the next stage of it, which is publishing. That's scary!
I'll save the celebration until I clean it all up. Thank you so much for everything, my friend!!
Rhonda
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hill...if this available to buy I want to. Also the sequel. You have me hooked! A true work of greatness and you should be so proud and pleased your characterisation is spot on, you are a thrilling and convincing writer, I think this could be made into a series or film, this is just superb well done and kindest regards, Meia xx
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hill...if this available to buy I want to. Also the sequel. You have me hooked! A true work of greatness and you should be so proud and pleased your characterisation is spot on, you are a thrilling and convincing writer, I think this could be made into a series or film, this is just superb well done and kindest regards, Meia xx
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Meia. They are both available on amazon, but don't get the first one, because I've just spent a year on this site re-writing it. The second one is still under contract, so I can't mess with it. I have four others published, but am revising The Humanity Project on this site. I own the rights to it, so am free to revise and republish later.
Thank you for joining in and becoming such a wonderful reviewer and friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Dan-C
I enjoyed the chapter. I will have to find the book on Amazon. I liked the interaction between the characters, and the abundance of creatures that you wove into the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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I enjoyed the chapter. I will have to find the book on Amazon. I liked the interaction between the characters, and the abundance of creatures that you wove into the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for the commentary and review.
Is there a reason for the four star review? I'm happy with it, but it usually accompanies suggestions for improvement, which is something very helpful so I can make changes.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Brava! A well done ending as all loose ends were tied up neatly with just enough opening left to begin another adventure down the road. It was well penned as usual but one section seemed a bit off to me:
"Why aren't the rest of the mummies frozen?" Becky asked.
"I don't know, the reanimation process isn't what it used to be?"
This confused me a little as shouldn't she have asked why the rest of the mummies were not frozen? it could be I was just having a blonde moment.
Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Brava! A well done ending as all loose ends were tied up neatly with just enough opening left to begin another adventure down the road. It was well penned as usual but one section seemed a bit off to me:
"Why aren't the rest of the mummies frozen?" Becky asked.
"I don't know, the reanimation process isn't what it used to be?"
This confused me a little as shouldn't she have asked why the rest of the mummies were not frozen? it could be I was just having a blonde moment.
Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2017
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Oh, you were right, I put too any negatives in there. haha.
I fixed it now. The others were all frozen up, and Becky wondered why they were and Akie wasn't.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and for your wonderful comments.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from mbroyles2
An excellent conclusion and I love all the magical folk who wore the "#goodguy" shirts.
That's one way to tell the difference between friend or foe.
Unique storyline with plenty of action.
Really great job!
Michael
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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An excellent conclusion and I love all the magical folk who wore the "#goodguy" shirts.
That's one way to tell the difference between friend or foe.
Unique storyline with plenty of action.
Really great job!
Michael
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Michael, for your support and comments. They have ever been welcome!!
Take care,
Rhonda
