A Tale of Yucatan
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "A Tale of Yucatan - Part 6"Meanderings
8 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
Your travelogue is interesting, descriptive, and educational, Tony. You make the journey a "want to read" with your humor and fantastic descriptions. So far, not a boring or dragging paragraph to be found.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
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Your travelogue is interesting, descriptive, and educational, Tony. You make the journey a "want to read" with your humor and fantastic descriptions. So far, not a boring or dragging paragraph to be found.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 11-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
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High praise indeed from you, Karyn.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Pleasantly surprised to see this already posted, I have been hooked to this story, with its brilliant characterisation and polished vocabulary and well fleshed out characters.Lovely ending as they drift off to sleep, well done on such a well rounded piece of work.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Pleasantly surprised to see this already posted, I have been hooked to this story, with its brilliant characterisation and polished vocabulary and well fleshed out characters.Lovely ending as they drift off to sleep, well done on such a well rounded piece of work.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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I've been posting at a frenetic pace in a fruitless attempt to win $50 - but shall be slowing down soon, to enable me to catch up on answering reviews and writing them. Things have got a bit out of balance this week! Anyway, I'm delighted that you are finding time to read it all, and that it is giving you a moment or two of amusement.
Comment from rama devi
Another fine entry in the travelogue. Readers of this genre will love all the minute detail, though I am not a fan of so much abundance of those details--especially regarding fishing, since I an=m vegetarian. However, for this genre, it will certainly prove appealing! Well done!
I like the closing tone of relaxation after such an exciting day. :)
NOTES:
Nice alliteration of W here (note one comma suggestion and also, I suggest spelling out one hundred pounds--and numerals in general):
weighing about 100 lbs(,) and had a shot at it, but the speargun had been too powerful and the spear had whistled through it and straight out the other side. Our two Belizean boys nod wisely and sympathise.
*time-related comma:
Within half an hour(,) our Belizean boys have landed almost a dozen lobster,
This is a bit of a run on sentence, though well paced:
That evening, pleasantly weary from the day's exertions, not to mention being slightly sunburnt, nothing would have been more welcome to us than to crawl into bed after a hot shower and a couple of drinks at the bar.
I recommend using dashes instead of commas for even better flow (my opinion):
That evening, pleasantly weary from the day's exertions--not to mention being slightly sunburnt--nothing would have been more welcome to us than to crawl into bed after a hot shower and a couple of drinks at the bar.
or even parenthesis:
That evening, pleasantly weary from the day's exertions (not to mention being slightly sunburnt) nothing would have been more welcome to us than to crawl into bed after a hot shower and a couple of drinks at the bar.
Heading off now. WIll try to read more but I may be less active here for a bit.
Enjoyed the travel.
Blessings,
rd
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Another fine entry in the travelogue. Readers of this genre will love all the minute detail, though I am not a fan of so much abundance of those details--especially regarding fishing, since I an=m vegetarian. However, for this genre, it will certainly prove appealing! Well done!
I like the closing tone of relaxation after such an exciting day. :)
NOTES:
Nice alliteration of W here (note one comma suggestion and also, I suggest spelling out one hundred pounds--and numerals in general):
weighing about 100 lbs(,) and had a shot at it, but the speargun had been too powerful and the spear had whistled through it and straight out the other side. Our two Belizean boys nod wisely and sympathise.
*time-related comma:
Within half an hour(,) our Belizean boys have landed almost a dozen lobster,
This is a bit of a run on sentence, though well paced:
That evening, pleasantly weary from the day's exertions, not to mention being slightly sunburnt, nothing would have been more welcome to us than to crawl into bed after a hot shower and a couple of drinks at the bar.
I recommend using dashes instead of commas for even better flow (my opinion):
That evening, pleasantly weary from the day's exertions--not to mention being slightly sunburnt--nothing would have been more welcome to us than to crawl into bed after a hot shower and a couple of drinks at the bar.
or even parenthesis:
That evening, pleasantly weary from the day's exertions (not to mention being slightly sunburnt) nothing would have been more welcome to us than to crawl into bed after a hot shower and a couple of drinks at the bar.
Heading off now. WIll try to read more but I may be less active here for a bit.
Enjoyed the travel.
Blessings,
rd
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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I'm overwhelmed by your detailed reviews of all six parts of this travelogue. Surely worth a 'thumb' and probably several members cent pumps as well. Alas, I have expended them all in promoting the work and have much reviewing to do to catch up! Much answering of reviews too! LOL Thank you for all your many suggestions. I shall take the time to go through each of the parts with them in mind. I was interested by your suggestion to write all numerals in full as words. There is certainly some merit in it, though I was always taught only to do that for the single digit numbers. I so much appreciate your time and care in reading and reviewing my writing. Many thanks again! Best wishes, Tony.
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Thanks for your thumb thought and cent pumps too...that's nice of you. I won last month, so would not be eligible this month, anyway~!
I have read abit about the numeral thing in the past and discovered that what you ay is true of non-fiction but some schools of thought feel it would always be alphabets and not numerals in fiction, except in the case of long-winded ones, like twenty-eight million six hundred and eighty two thousand point twenty nine, for example. LOL
Warm Smiles and Best Wishes,
rd
Comment from giraffmang
Great atmosphere created in your prose yet again.
hand-held - handheld.
side stroke - sidestroke.
Had to laugh at the inadequacies of the 'experts' over the locals. Always the way! lol
All the best
G
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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Great atmosphere created in your prose yet again.
hand-held - handheld.
side stroke - sidestroke.
Had to laugh at the inadequacies of the 'experts' over the locals. Always the way! lol
All the best
G
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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Many thanks for your review of this and for picking up the two SPAGs. I always have difficulty with hyphenation - never quite sure if the two words should be split, hyphenated of joined. I should have known these two though. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Love the paragraph about the local boys fishing exhibition, what catch and such a cute photo of these Manatee, but they are by no means, beauties. What a feast, fresh lobster , and what a full day this was.
edit - three or feet long and about 40 lbs - three or four?
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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Love the paragraph about the local boys fishing exhibition, what catch and such a cute photo of these Manatee, but they are by no means, beauties. What a feast, fresh lobster , and what a full day this was.
edit - three or feet long and about 40 lbs - three or four?
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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Many thanks for picking up on the missing word, Valda. That was one that everyone missed! You have sharp eyes!
Comment from royowen
This sounds like a fabulous day Tony, your description of Belizean fisher boys sound very adept compared to your friends, you've had the privilege to witness something that I have never witnessed. Your new occupation of writing articles is decriptively very good, and it illumined it very well indeed, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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This sounds like a fabulous day Tony, your description of Belizean fisher boys sound very adept compared to your friends, you've had the privilege to witness something that I have never witnessed. Your new occupation of writing articles is decriptively very good, and it illumined it very well indeed, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2017
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Thank you for this review of the Belizean section. Thank you for your kind words. I'm delighted that you are enjoying this sequence of travel anecdotes. All the best, Tony
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Well done Tony
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Your chapter is very rich in imagery. You set the scene well, and bring us with you on a journey you have experienced.
When writing this way, you allow us to see a world you know and are willing to share.
Nice warm story,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Your chapter is very rich in imagery. You set the scene well, and bring us with you on a journey you have experienced.
When writing this way, you allow us to see a world you know and are willing to share.
Nice warm story,
Rhonda
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Very many thanks for reviewing this, Rhonda, and for your kind comments. I hadn't realised that this had slipped out of preview mode until your review appeared, so I'm afraid it wasn't promoted at first. I hope that you at least got a Members Cent pump out of it. Both Chapter 5 and Chapter 6 are now promoted. Best wishes, Tony
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I'll check them out. That happened to me the other day, too, and the story wasn't even close to read to "go live". I was so embarrassed! Yours was great, though.
Comment from Heidi M
I love listening to raindrops pattering on the roof. It is such a soothing sound.
Your vision of Bill and Ben in wetsuits, dining on grouper was funny. You gave a great description of it.
One minor note: in U.S. English, 'farther' is used for distance; 'further' is used for everything else (ex: further your education). I'm not sure if it differs in Australia.
('A few hundred yards farther up the coast...')
You are doing a great job with your travelogue because you describe events and places well, in addition to injecting humor into your writing.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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I love listening to raindrops pattering on the roof. It is such a soothing sound.
Your vision of Bill and Ben in wetsuits, dining on grouper was funny. You gave a great description of it.
One minor note: in U.S. English, 'farther' is used for distance; 'further' is used for everything else (ex: further your education). I'm not sure if it differs in Australia.
('A few hundred yards farther up the coast...')
You are doing a great job with your travelogue because you describe events and places well, in addition to injecting humor into your writing.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Very many thanks for reviewing this, Heidi, and for your kind comments. I hadn't realised that this had slipped out of preview mode until your review appeared, so I'm afraid it wasn't promoted at first. I hope that you at least got a Members Cent pump out of it. Both Chapter 5 and Chapter 6 are now promoted. Thank you for spotting the farther/further error. I've never thought about it before, but you are absolutely right. I've amended one and deleted one. I hadn't spotted the near repetition of phrasing either! Best wishes, Tony
