Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

An excellent poem. As I read it I feel the vastness and depth of space. Millions and millions of stars planets constellations and we don't begin to scratch the surface.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017

Thanks for your five star review and your positive comments. I think you got exactly the effect I was trying to create. This type of poetry was inspired by music by Phil Glass and Steve Reich

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

It's apparent you spent a lot of time developing this poem. Those who like astronomy of meteorology would find this poem fascinating and informative. For me, I just enjoyed it.

Great job,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your encouraging review. It was fun to write. I love astronomy, so that's where this came from. all those nights looking through my dad's telescope at the mysterious of the depths of the universe estory

Comment from mvbrooks

Excellent

I read your notes and think you have reached your goal. I especially liked the repetition of key lines such as "One by One, the Stars Appear."

There's a sense of lightness that supports the idea of the stars floating so high above us.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your encouraging review. I think you got the effect I was trying to create. the glittering stars unfolding overhead estory

Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

I like this very much, and I can see that you worked hard to create the verbal imagery. The repeating lines do much to center and to focus the reader on the words. I did get a little lost in there, but I didn't mind, and it was a pleasure to try and find the way out again.
Rose.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and the comments. This is really an exercise in making music for its own sake. just sit back and look at the stars! estory

Comment from Luna

Excellent

Well, estory, you indeed succeed in making the poem denser and denser. I think that was the part that I liked the best about it, the third stanza.

I also love stars and, as you will find out, the moon...Thanks for sharing your work with us and welcome back to the site.

Yours,

Luna

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your comments. This is a kind of poem I wrote for the sake of the music. estory

reply by Luna on 04-Jan-2017

"for the sake of the music." I could take that two ways, do you mean for the visual music of the star-filled sky or, do you listen to different kinds of music to inspire you? Just wondering if this is something we have in common. Again, loved your work.

jeni

reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017

I'm talking about the music of language, the music made of the patterns of sound created by the words. for me poetry is the art of making music with language

reply by Luna on 06-Jan-2017

And how right you are!

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent.
the time and rewrites you put into this work truly show. It is extremely well done and a joy to read. It flows smoothly from start to finish. Good work.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your encouraging comments. estory

Comment from HarryT

Excellent

There is a musical sound when this poem is read aloud. I believe you accomplished your aim. I understand the repetition, but it is a little too much for my taste. However, that is just me.
Typo in stanza 3 - "contellations"should be constellations.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your review. Minimalism is not for everybody; at times I reacted to the mechanical feel of it myself. I also write some odes and I still like sonnets and haikus. But for me, I like to reach into trying new things, finding new ways of making music in language, and for that we have to move passed iambic pentameter and rhyme schemes. So I like to explore these repeating patterns of sound as a form estory

reply by HarryT on 04-Jan-2017

That is the beautiful thing about being an author, you are in control.

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

It;s a nicely written free verse on the mass amount of stars and star systems in the universe. makes on think of the endlessness of the universe. thanks for the share and have a great day

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your great review. This is a poem I wrote to enjoy the music of language. I wanted to create a glittering, twinkling effect with the repetitions of the sounds and images estory