The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hil
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Allies and Enemies-Part 2"A fantasy novel about good fighting evil.
25 total reviews
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Lots can happen in five minutes. This is well penned with no SPAG to be had. The action moves along at a rapid pace so the reader really has to stay on their toes. I enjoyed the mummies having cell phones - interesting they can use those but not modern weapons LOL. There is always a catch somewhere. You leave us with another cliff hanger ending insuring us all to tune in for the next chapter. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Lots can happen in five minutes. This is well penned with no SPAG to be had. The action moves along at a rapid pace so the reader really has to stay on their toes. I enjoyed the mummies having cell phones - interesting they can use those but not modern weapons LOL. There is always a catch somewhere. You leave us with another cliff hanger ending insuring us all to tune in for the next chapter. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the great review!! The next chapter is posted in case you want to check it out. Thanks for reading and reviewing this one!
There is some strange incongruities in the rules, right? Such is life with the rest of us, too! hehe.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from mvbrooks
As I read this today, I thought about the "original" teen vampire series of recent times: Twilight. Those stories sold millions of books and spawned four movies. A student asked me to read the first one--and then I had to read the series to encourage my teens to read more.
I mention this because I find your writing in a higher category than those books. Your characters are much more developed and your description much more fluid. I especially liked this line:
"A fierce snarl heralded the newcomer as a werewolf... his stench confirmed it." Right to the point, no wasted words--yet very effective "fierce snarl" and "stench confirmed."
High school reading classes have such an emphasis now on "evidence" -- and your writing stands out because you don't just use descriptive word -- you give evidence allowing the reader to experience the story with you.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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As I read this today, I thought about the "original" teen vampire series of recent times: Twilight. Those stories sold millions of books and spawned four movies. A student asked me to read the first one--and then I had to read the series to encourage my teens to read more.
I mention this because I find your writing in a higher category than those books. Your characters are much more developed and your description much more fluid. I especially liked this line:
"A fierce snarl heralded the newcomer as a werewolf... his stench confirmed it." Right to the point, no wasted words--yet very effective "fierce snarl" and "stench confirmed."
High school reading classes have such an emphasis now on "evidence" -- and your writing stands out because you don't just use descriptive word -- you give evidence allowing the reader to experience the story with you.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Wow, thank you so much for the comparison. I wrote four in my Daredevil Girl series before even finding out about Twilight. At first I refused to read them because I wanted to develop my own ideas before hearing anyone else's. When I did read the first, and only one I read, I felt my rules were enough different from hers that they wouldn't be confused. I'm glad that's so.
I only published the first two of my books, and the the original was so poorly written and edited, I decided to rewrite it here. It's gone through dramatic changes, while still keeping the original story line.
You have no idea how much it means to me for your comments. It truly helps me to know what works and what doesn't. You're a dear!!
Rhonda
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You are very welcome. (And the first Twilight book was the strongest--the characters never develop as the stories progress.)
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That's sad. They needed to have built them. Characters have to evolve.
Thanks for sharing that with me!
Comment from Dustybones
This one is a big action chapter. Lots going on here to move the plot forward. I think you did a wonderful mix with showing the excitement from one scene to the next. You kept everyone involved without too much elaborate explanation. I like the picture of the witch.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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This one is a big action chapter. Lots going on here to move the plot forward. I think you did a wonderful mix with showing the excitement from one scene to the next. You kept everyone involved without too much elaborate explanation. I like the picture of the witch.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you!! I tried to trim it down as I worked at revising. Action keeps attention better than chit chat!
I appreciate your time!
Rhonda
Comment from boxergirl
Great action scene, Rhonda, and I was all ready to award it a shiny six but I've been reviewing a lot this morning (snowed in :.-) and used them up. Too bad we can't carry them over from week to week! Hope your 2nd semester is starting smoothly.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Great action scene, Rhonda, and I was all ready to award it a shiny six but I've been reviewing a lot this morning (snowed in :.-) and used them up. Too bad we can't carry them over from week to week! Hope your 2nd semester is starting smoothly.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much. What a sweet review. I'll take a virtual 6 anytime.
We've got cold weather here, but not snow in...
Our new semester doesn't start until week after next. We have a strange schedule here.
Hope all is well with you,
Rhonda
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Rhonda, I had one six left and your tense and very intriguing story deserves it! This is so exceptionally written, very engaging and quite entertaining. I was glad to see Akie being included in your story! I'm hoping he was just knocked off his feet and not hurt or left powerless.
Rhonda, this is getting more intense, but yet exciting also. Well written once again my good friend!
Hope that you will have a great Friday and also the coming weekend.
Jim xoxo
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Rhonda, I had one six left and your tense and very intriguing story deserves it! This is so exceptionally written, very engaging and quite entertaining. I was glad to see Akie being included in your story! I'm hoping he was just knocked off his feet and not hurt or left powerless.
Rhonda, this is getting more intense, but yet exciting also. Well written once again my good friend!
Hope that you will have a great Friday and also the coming weekend.
Jim xoxo
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Jim!!
I appreciate the dazzling six stars, and for the supportive review.
You are always a sweetheart!
Akie's a pretty tough cookie, and being a mummy, he's been dead once... doesn't want to repeat it.
Thanks again,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from MelB
Great suspense and action scenes. It's the final showdown now with the bomb activated. I have a feeling they will be able to handle the situation.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Great suspense and action scenes. It's the final showdown now with the bomb activated. I have a feeling they will be able to handle the situation.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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That may be true, but how many will be lost in the process?? Don't I sound tougher than I am? Haha.
Thanks for reading and reviewing, my friend.
Rhonda
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You're welcome. There may be a few casualties, but I have faith they will get most everyone out. LOL - You may be more of a softie like me:)
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Too true! I don't have the guts some of the other authors have that kill everyone off. I just resign myself to making people guess how I'm going to save everyone. lol!
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Some do kill quite a few off.
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Yes, they do!
Comment from royowen
So, help from an unexpected source, Akie and ancient Egyptiam Warriors in the form of mummies, large, impressive warriors from the northern African country, Victor had got himself into trouble, struggling with a werewolf, but the witches are a formidable enemy and Gelada has pressed the button on the remote. Good story Rhonda, well done, Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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So, help from an unexpected source, Akie and ancient Egyptiam Warriors in the form of mummies, large, impressive warriors from the northern African country, Victor had got himself into trouble, struggling with a werewolf, but the witches are a formidable enemy and Gelada has pressed the button on the remote. Good story Rhonda, well done, Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Roy, and good to hear from you. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
As always, I appreciate your reviews!
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It was marvellous one, Rhonda, I hope yours as too, dear friend.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Rhonda,
Good action!
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Impressive dialogues.
On the whole, Interesting.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Hello Rhonda,
Good action!
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Impressive dialogues.
On the whole, Interesting.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful six star rating, my friend, and good to hear from you. Hope you had a great Holiday Season.
Comment from Heidi M
Great job on the fight scenes. Lots of action here. I liked the phrase 'his timeless face' when you were referring to the mummy. I was hoping the witches were taken care of for good, but no such luck. You left your protagonists in a terrible bind. It will be interesting to see how they get out of their predicament.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Great job on the fight scenes. Lots of action here. I liked the phrase 'his timeless face' when you were referring to the mummy. I was hoping the witches were taken care of for good, but no such luck. You left your protagonists in a terrible bind. It will be interesting to see how they get out of their predicament.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Heidi. Yes, the good guys are in a bit of a pickle right now.
I appreciate your comments and time.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from mbroyles2
Dang I thought they got the best of Gilda and her sisters.
The suspense is super and now we wait to see if they can escape before the bomb goes off.
Nice hook.
Excellent so far.
Michael
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Dang I thought they got the best of Gilda and her sisters.
The suspense is super and now we wait to see if they can escape before the bomb goes off.
Nice hook.
Excellent so far.
Michael
Comment Written 05-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Michael. I'm glad the suspense worked, and that you stopped by to review. No one tortured here, at least not yet, haha.
Thanks, my friend,
Rhonda
