haiku duet (gills-gasping fish)
Haiku Club Challenge # 4 air86 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
Lovely depiction as to the inclusion and connection of the image. I almost think you outdo yourself with having two for they are both class worthy, yet I would keep the concentration focused on one as so the potency is directed in one area...as good as it is.
Great imagery.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Lovely depiction as to the inclusion and connection of the image. I almost think you outdo yourself with having two for they are both class worthy, yet I would keep the concentration focused on one as so the potency is directed in one area...as good as it is.
Great imagery.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Thank you, RG, for your generous review and suggestions. Sometimes I have so many haiku ideas that I have content to spare to focus on two or more. Reviewers also report that they enjoy being told linked stories with my haiku and being given a choice to pick which one is their favorite.
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Yes, absolutely, that is another way of looking at it...when linked, as when you wrote 5, yet when they are quite similar, it is dificult to differentiate, for only a few thoughts compared to a full poem with many.
But, I agree, it is when the moment takes that deters...and so should it be.
best wishes.
Comment from Ogden
Excellent response to the challenge! I much prefer haiku #2. The punch line is hilarious!, (in stark contrast to the other, as you probably know). Too bad it's not a contest entry!
Happy New Year!
Don
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Excellent response to the challenge! I much prefer haiku #2. The punch line is hilarious!, (in stark contrast to the other, as you probably know). Too bad it's not a contest entry!
Happy New Year!
Don
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Yes, Don, too bad it is not a contest entry, but I am writing and sharing them for the joy of it. Thank you for your review.
Comment from MissMerri
These are two excellent haiku involving air. I especially liked the satori line "air apparent." Very clever. The second one is equally clever however. I am always in great awe of those who can write good haiku. You have definitely earned my respect and admiration. MM
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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These are two excellent haiku involving air. I especially liked the satori line "air apparent." Very clever. The second one is equally clever however. I am always in great awe of those who can write good haiku. You have definitely earned my respect and admiration. MM
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Thank you, MM, for your review of my "two excellent haiku." I am glad I have earned your respect.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
I believe in reincarnation. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too. Thank for a wonderful haiku.
Bill~
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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I believe in reincarnation. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too. Thank for a wonderful haiku.
Bill~
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Bill, for your beautiful review. I would like to be reincarnated as an eagle, too.
Comment from Ella25
Strong words in your Haiku poem. As strong as eagle's claws to grab the fish and carry it to the nest. Perhaps, to feed hungry babies. Very well presented and coordinated with the vivid image bringing us closer as we were the photographer who took it. Blessings, Ella
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Strong words in your Haiku poem. As strong as eagle's claws to grab the fish and carry it to the nest. Perhaps, to feed hungry babies. Very well presented and coordinated with the vivid image bringing us closer as we were the photographer who took it. Blessings, Ella
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Yes, Ella, thank you for your review of my "strong words" in my haiku. I am glad my poem and picture brought you closer to the action.
Comment from padumachitta
hi
great picture..is that part of the group thing?
i like the last one best. it had a good play on human words...seafood flown fresh dails..
padumachitta
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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hi
great picture..is that part of the group thing?
i like the last one best. it had a good play on human words...seafood flown fresh dails..
padumachitta
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Yes, padumachitta, the air theme is part of the Haiku Club Challenge, but each poet chooses his or her own picture. Thank you for your review.
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ah, thanks for the information..
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
These are both very good examples of well constructed haiku. I personally thought the first one by far the better of the two as the satori was AWESOME and the opening imagery implied powerful action. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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These are both very good examples of well constructed haiku. I personally thought the first one by far the better of the two as the satori was AWESOME and the opening imagery implied powerful action. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Mystic Angel 7777, for your review of my haiku duet. I appreciate it.
Comment from robyn corum
AHA!
These are quite good and rather funny, Andre. I got a giggle out of each one. If you lived near the Eastern seaboard, I bet these would feel even more close to home, eh? This was fun!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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AHA!
These are quite good and rather funny, Andre. I got a giggle out of each one. If you lived near the Eastern seaboard, I bet these would feel even more close to home, eh? This was fun!
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Robyn, I live on the Western seaboard where I witnessed an eagle fly a fish behind my house. Thank you for your review of my haiku duet. I appreciate it.
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Oh! I didn't mean to imply that you wouldn't, Andre. It's just that I'm more familiar with the Eastern side. OOps! Sorry!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That must have been amazing to see. They are gorgeous creatures. Your haikus were equally amazing, I thought the last line of the first one was so clever, air apparent, lol. Well done, you succeeded in this weeks challenge brilliantly. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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That must have been amazing to see. They are gorgeous creatures. Your haikus were equally amazing, I thought the last line of the first one was so clever, air apparent, lol. Well done, you succeeded in this weeks challenge brilliantly. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Sandra, for your review of my haiku duet and pointing out which one you favored. I appreciate it.
Comment from William Ross
Very good on the duel haiku on air,i really like the second one seafood flown daily. thanks for the share and have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Very good on the duel haiku on air,i really like the second one seafood flown daily. thanks for the share and have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Thank you, William, for your review of my haiku duet and pointing out which one you favored. I appreciate it.
