Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Lovely sympathetic and moving story. You are good at these. The woman sounds like the Salvation Army - they do a great deal of good to people like the protagonist in your story poem. You met the challenge well. A long poem that keeps up the pace and the rhyme and rhythm is very good. One small point - to take or dump, The second line in your final stanza - 'they'd gave' does not sound right. Perhaps 'they gave' - I know you were meaning past tense 'they had given'. Just a suggestion. A bit picky of me, for it's such a good poem. A pleasure to read - warm regards, Dorothy

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thank you so much, Dorothy. I'm so pleased you pointed that out, and you are not at all picky. I've made the change to 'they gave' I don't know why I put 'they'd...'!! I'm glad you liked my take on the picture, perhaps you might like to join the group. We are given a picture every two weeks and have to come up with a poem for it. It's really good seeing all the takes and its fun. Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

AAAAhhhh one with a great ending. So well written as a story in a poem that took us through the high to the fall and the bottom. When someone cares, it means a start.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thank you so much, Barb. I thought it would be nice for one of the homeless to have a happy ending. LOL. Thanks for the lovely review, my friend. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

This sounds like a rather fine rhyming publicity pitch for the Salvation Army or Crisis at Christmas or some such similar story. There are too many people like this out there in the cold and something needs to be done charity begins at home is perhaps something our politicians should take on board.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Do you know, I never thought of the Sally Army, and you are the second one who mentioned them. But, yes, I suppose it does come across that way. Do you think they'd pay me for it!! LOL. Thanks, Jim, I totally agree with you that the government should help them more, they send enough money to other countries. It is wrong that it should be like this in the 21st century. Thanks again, my friend, :) Sandra xx

reply by Pantygynt on 02-Jan-2017

I'm with you all the way on this.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I always enjoy reading this poet challenges. The reviewers are the real winners here because we get to read really good poem. This poem is written really well. Thank you for sharing.

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 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thank you, Barbara, they are fun to do. I'm really pleased you liked my take on the picture, I thought this homeless man needed a happy ending! :) Sandra xxx

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

Sandra, what a touchimg.poem for the picture this challenge. We don't know people's stories. I have heard of veterans who have lost everything because of health problems. A great job on this


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 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thanks, Judy, I've missed the last two, but will get those done and post now I have a bit more time. I'm glad you liked my take, it was a bit rushed. They have all been so good this time. Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xxx