Paradise. Part 2.
Josh is gone.17 total reviews
Comment from evilynne
The story continues nicely. You describe the emotion of grief quite well. I will keep reading your work, as you have me interested. Evi
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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The story continues nicely. You describe the emotion of grief quite well. I will keep reading your work, as you have me interested. Evi
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Maria Jose, this is great and very well written. I am now looking forward to what is to happen next. You dealt with grief very realistically. All the best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
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Hi Maria Jose, this is great and very well written. I am now looking forward to what is to happen next. You dealt with grief very realistically. All the best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading, Ulla.
Comment from aryr
This was a good continuation. It explained what had happened to Josh and why it happened. It gave closure to his death. You did very well documenting the responses. Each child did react differently as it usually does. You continued the suspense with the closing paragraph, leaving the reader wonder what it was that Heather had to do. Great job, Maria, thanks.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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This was a good continuation. It explained what had happened to Josh and why it happened. It gave closure to his death. You did very well documenting the responses. Each child did react differently as it usually does. You continued the suspense with the closing paragraph, leaving the reader wonder what it was that Heather had to do. Great job, Maria, thanks.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Thanks for your review, Aryr.
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You are very welcome Maria
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I will certainly read all of this is it very poignant, moving and interesting with realistic dialogue and emotions.A very good piece of work and I am off to read part one and then hopefully the next chapter.an excellent story of great merit.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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I will certainly read all of this is it very poignant, moving and interesting with realistic dialogue and emotions.A very good piece of work and I am off to read part one and then hopefully the next chapter.an excellent story of great merit.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
'with our car, he also squashed all my hopes and dreams.'
Great line, very heart wrenching. It seems that you have more to write on this story Maria, well done so far,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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'with our car, he also squashed all my hopes and dreams.'
Great line, very heart wrenching. It seems that you have more to write on this story Maria, well done so far,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from Sis Cat
I am so glad, Maria, that this is fiction because you had me fooled and worried for you in the first installment. Now I can relax and enjoy this story which travels the dark corners of grief after a woman loses her husband. After experiencing much of this myself in recent years, I can identify with the various ways of grieving you portrayed. Your prose engaged me and I was moved by the woman hearing Josh's voice and seeing him when she closed her eyes. Cliffhanger made me want to know what happens next.
One spag: Insert blank paragraph lines around this, "All I could muster was indifference."
Thank you for sharing and Happy New Year.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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I am so glad, Maria, that this is fiction because you had me fooled and worried for you in the first installment. Now I can relax and enjoy this story which travels the dark corners of grief after a woman loses her husband. After experiencing much of this myself in recent years, I can identify with the various ways of grieving you portrayed. Your prose engaged me and I was moved by the woman hearing Josh's voice and seeing him when she closed her eyes. Cliffhanger made me want to know what happens next.
One spag: Insert blank paragraph lines around this, "All I could muster was indifference."
Thank you for sharing and Happy New Year.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading, Andre. I'll look at the paragraph thing now.
Comment from damommy
Wouldn't you know it? The one who does the damage always seems to be unharmed. My father was killed on foot by a drunk driver, and my oldest grandson killed in a T-bone accident. Both drivers walked away unharmed and scot free.
You really showed emotion in this one - how each one grieved. I'll be curious until I find out what she's going to do next. 8-)
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Wouldn't you know it? The one who does the damage always seems to be unharmed. My father was killed on foot by a drunk driver, and my oldest grandson killed in a T-bone accident. Both drivers walked away unharmed and scot free.
You really showed emotion in this one - how each one grieved. I'll be curious until I find out what she's going to do next. 8-)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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I'm so sorry to hear about your grandson and your father.
Thanks for reading this one.
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Thank you.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Your ensuing chapter is well written, and evokes the distress and loss one would feel after such an event, with the daunting task of raising three children on her own.
You've given each of the children in the story their own identity by the manner in which they grieve their father. I was so relieved to know from your last review comment that this is indeed fiction.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Your ensuing chapter is well written, and evokes the distress and loss one would feel after such an event, with the daunting task of raising three children on her own.
You've given each of the children in the story their own identity by the manner in which they grieve their father. I was so relieved to know from your last review comment that this is indeed fiction.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Thanks for your review, Mary.
Comment from MelB
It seems the one who causes the accident always lives and the other driver dies or is seriously injured. She did a good job of holding it all together.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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It seems the one who causes the accident always lives and the other driver dies or is seriously injured. She did a good job of holding it all together.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading, Melissa.
You're right. Life can be unfair like that.
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I always think it is a punishment for the person that caused the accident. They have to live with that fact, but it's got to be really tough and devastating.
Comment from misscookie
Wow!
I found this very heard to read and couldn't stop crying
For I feel your pain
Yet I know with God's help and your husband love for you and the children you will make it through the storms.
Just like I did.
Cookie
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Wow!
I found this very heard to read and couldn't stop crying
For I feel your pain
Yet I know with God's help and your husband love for you and the children you will make it through the storms.
Just like I did.
Cookie
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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I'm sorry you found it so sad, Cookie. Remember it's only fiction. I wouldn't want you to cry.
Thanks so much for reading and for the lovely review.
