Comment from mvbrooks

Excellent

This poem reminded me of childhood summers when we would use a hose to rescue the worms that were stranded on the sidewalk after a strong summer's rain.

The alliteration in the first and last lines seem uncommon in a haiku, but are effective in adding to the "squirminess" of the worms.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Yes, mvbrooks, "squirminess" is precisely the mood I wanted to capture. Worms often make an S-shape when they crawl, so I alliterated S. I hate worms on sidewalks. Thank you for your review and for sharing your memory.

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

BIRDS ARE VERY HAPPY
EARTHWORMS PLENTIFUL
FAT BELLIES

My first haiku in response to your wonderful one i love the picture. I had them on toast last night for dinner lol

dip

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Ha, Dip, this is a fun haiku review. Here's my response:

cats pounce
on birds too fat to fly
twice stuffed meal

Thank you for your humorous review.

reply by DR DIP on 01-Jan-2017

haha very good

CATS PURR
DOGS GROWL
POOR PUSSY

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

animal control
snags unleashed, overfed dog
pound for pound bound