haiku (earthworms swarm sidewalk)
Haiku Club Challenge # 3 earth62 total reviews
Comment from bookishfabler
Yuck. Yup, that's what I got to say. LOL. Actually worms don't bother me unless they are squirming through a decayed body. (Guess genre I read and write.) I don't always review haiku's, but I read yours and remembered sitting on lounge chairs on our lawn with the sprinkler's water cascaded back and forth over us, then looking down at the lawn and it seemed like hundreds of worms were coming up out of the ground and bathing on the grass. I didn't want to walk through the lawn. Thanks for the memory, Sis.
Happy New Year
Hugs
HEidi
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Yuck. Yup, that's what I got to say. LOL. Actually worms don't bother me unless they are squirming through a decayed body. (Guess genre I read and write.) I don't always review haiku's, but I read yours and remembered sitting on lounge chairs on our lawn with the sprinkler's water cascaded back and forth over us, then looking down at the lawn and it seemed like hundreds of worms were coming up out of the ground and bathing on the grass. I didn't want to walk through the lawn. Thanks for the memory, Sis.
Happy New Year
Hugs
HEidi
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Oh, the horror! Yes, it amazes me that by noticing worms on the sidewalk it invited other reviewers to share their yucky memories of worms on the lawn, driveway, or sidewalk. I am glad my poem resonated with you, although not pleasantly. Thank you for your review.
Comment from padumachitta
hi
ah, not fond of slithery things...
but
the wee poem made me laguh
though then i wonder about my humour.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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hi
ah, not fond of slithery things...
but
the wee poem made me laguh
though then i wonder about my humour.
padumachitta
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Oh, thank you, padumachitta, for your review . I am glad my wee poem made you laugh. Cheers.
Comment from Leineco
I can't believe you made me look at this picture!!! (LOL)
I have to say, this threw me, as regards the concept of the
satori. . .which I tend to think of much the was I think of
the final couplet of a sonnet. . .as a sort of "new " or surprising
connection/comprehension.
slither, squiggle, peck might have triggered an "aha" more in line
with how I think about haiku.
On the other hand it was really good imagery and (lol- even with the yucky
picture staring at me) your for choices painted a very clear and concise
picture. AND
I am willing to admit, I may have a bit of a predisposition toward haiku
being driven by juxtaposition of differing imageries and not well enough
trained to understand the alternatives and nuances of the broader picture
of haiku :-)
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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I can't believe you made me look at this picture!!! (LOL)
I have to say, this threw me, as regards the concept of the
satori. . .which I tend to think of much the was I think of
the final couplet of a sonnet. . .as a sort of "new " or surprising
connection/comprehension.
slither, squiggle, peck might have triggered an "aha" more in line
with how I think about haiku.
On the other hand it was really good imagery and (lol- even with the yucky
picture staring at me) your for choices painted a very clear and concise
picture. AND
I am willing to admit, I may have a bit of a predisposition toward haiku
being driven by juxtaposition of differing imageries and not well enough
trained to understand the alternatives and nuances of the broader picture
of haiku :-)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Oh, thank you, Leineco, for your engaging review. "Peck" is a good alternative, but I never see birds picking worms on my sidewalk. People either step on them or the worms dry up and my Chihuahua eats them as worm jerky.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Thanks for the violence warning! Enjoyed the alliterative last line. I always see the warms after the rains and they are a hazard for joggers. I wonder where they are now that it's snowing...
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Lol! Thanks for the violence warning! Enjoyed the alliterative last line. I always see the warms after the rains and they are a hazard for joggers. I wonder where they are now that it's snowing...
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Yes, lyenochka, I decided to add the violence warning after reviewers recoiled from the worms being squished. This is a hazard for joggers. I'm glad you love my alliteration. Thank you for your review. You'll see the worms again in spring.
Comment from ciliverde
Hi Andre,
I'm happy to see that you're in the Haiku group, I guess I'd better tell Gypsy I've joined as well.
I enjoyed your vision of earthworms swarming up after a good, winter rain. These winter rains are something a Californian knows, and loves...so good to see it rain finally!
I try to save the earthworms from being squished, but alas...can't save them all :)
Carol
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Hi Andre,
I'm happy to see that you're in the Haiku group, I guess I'd better tell Gypsy I've joined as well.
I enjoyed your vision of earthworms swarming up after a good, winter rain. These winter rains are something a Californian knows, and loves...so good to see it rain finally!
I try to save the earthworms from being squished, but alas...can't save them all :)
Carol
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Yes, Carol, we can't save all earthworms. My haiku inspiration was right beneath my feet. Thank you for your review and welcome to the Haiku Club. I look forward to seeing your work.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
When I was a kid growing up on the farm and we wanted to go fishing the next day we would drive two steel rods in the ground few feet apart, hook them up to a car battery and... bait.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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When I was a kid growing up on the farm and we wanted to go fishing the next day we would drive two steel rods in the ground few feet apart, hook them up to a car battery and... bait.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Wow, Thomas, I never heard that technique of capturing worms before. Of all of the methods I have heard from reviewers of my haiku, yours is the most creative. Thank you for your review and sharing your worm catching technique.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Icky, I hate stepping on squishy worms. My yard seemed to have a lot of squishy slugs this year. Good haiku for the club, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Icky, I hate stepping on squishy worms. My yard seemed to have a lot of squishy slugs this year. Good haiku for the club, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Yes, Debbie, I hate stepping on worms and snails. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, earth, has seventeen syllables that bring those protein tubes up from the cold ground for us to clean, purée, spice up, and slather on a cracker. Yum, yum.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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This haiku, earth, has seventeen syllables that bring those protein tubes up from the cold ground for us to clean, purée, spice up, and slather on a cracker. Yum, yum.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Yes, Bill, protein tubes slathered on crackers sound pretty good right now. Thank you for your review.
Comment from DonandVicki
I really like the feel and visuals of the last line, so full of alliteration. I did a lot of dew worm hunting or night crawlers as my dad called them. I'll add a Squirm to your list of S's.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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I really like the feel and visuals of the last line, so full of alliteration. I did a lot of dew worm hunting or night crawlers as my dad called them. I'll add a Squirm to your list of S's.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Thank you, DonandVicki, for your review of my haiku. I am glad you really like its feel and alliteration.
Comment from tfawcus
The sibilance in the first and third lines adds to the slithery effect, giving one a good visual image for the mind to dwell on. You've taken an interesting natural phenomenon and added a touch of humour to make an entertaining haiku here.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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The sibilance in the first and third lines adds to the slithery effect, giving one a good visual image for the mind to dwell on. You've taken an interesting natural phenomenon and added a touch of humour to make an entertaining haiku here.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Yes, tfawcus, when I pay attention to "interesting natural phenomenon" around me, I find inspiration for my haiku everywhere. Thank you for your review of my slithery haiku.
