Paradise
How it all started.17 total reviews
Comment from evilynne
Hi! I am getting to know you from Facebook and decided to stop by to read your writing. The story is heartbreaking,well written. Evi
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Hi! I am getting to know you from Facebook and decided to stop by to read your writing. The story is heartbreaking,well written. Evi
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Hi,
I just saw your reviews by chance. I used to be very active in FanStory but I don't post anymore. Thanks for your feedback and see you in FB
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A very emotion packed read this one. Like the way you start out by naming the date, because, I know for me there are several dates that I remember and always will be embedded. Enjoyed this story Maria,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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A very emotion packed read this one. Like the way you start out by naming the date, because, I know for me there are several dates that I remember and always will be embedded. Enjoyed this story Maria,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
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Wow! Thanks for the great rating! It's very kind of you.
Comment from misscookie
My heart goes out to you and the children
I can relate when my love passed away I was completely lost and alone even though I had friends and family for support. He was my rock
Until next time.
Cookie
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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My heart goes out to you and the children
I can relate when my love passed away I was completely lost and alone even though I had friends and family for support. He was my rock
Until next time.
Cookie
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Don't worry, Cookie. This is only fiction. Fortunately my husband is very much alive.
Thanks for your review.
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You're very welcome. Wow!
Praise God , my heart is aching I just read part 2-
all I can say you are a great reader to get this reactions from me.
Cookie
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is a really good start to your story, it sounds like this is going to be where she is told her husband Josh has died. I will go and read your part 2 now. Well done, the writing is very well done. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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This is a really good start to your story, it sounds like this is going to be where she is told her husband Josh has died. I will go and read your part 2 now. Well done, the writing is very well done. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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I'm glad you liked it, Sandra. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
What a place to pick to leave us all hanging. This is beautifully written and a wonderful read. You were very blessed in your relationship. I know the next half is not going to be as happy, but knowing you there will be a joyful acceptance and a valuable life lesson n the end. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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What a place to pick to leave us all hanging. This is beautifully written and a wonderful read. You were very blessed in your relationship. I know the next half is not going to be as happy, but knowing you there will be a joyful acceptance and a valuable life lesson n the end. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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You know this is fiction, don't you?
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Sis Cat
Wow, Maria, I am sorry for your loss. You describe your last day with your husband Josh with crystal clear clarity. I am reminded of the deaths of my parents and how I could recall every detail of it, even details I would not have given a second look on a normal day. Death freezes all details. it brands them into your memory, as you shown here in a day that started off like any other day but then led to the worst day of your loss.
"December 10th, 2010 is a day I will never forget. It was the day that changed my life forever."
Writing about your loss helps you process it. Do not feel rushed or pressured to continue this nonfiction story if you are not ready for it. Let the Spirit move you.
I wish you comfort and creativity in the new year. I am sorry for your loss but am glad you shared your story. Thank you.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Wow, Maria, I am sorry for your loss. You describe your last day with your husband Josh with crystal clear clarity. I am reminded of the deaths of my parents and how I could recall every detail of it, even details I would not have given a second look on a normal day. Death freezes all details. it brands them into your memory, as you shown here in a day that started off like any other day but then led to the worst day of your loss.
"December 10th, 2010 is a day I will never forget. It was the day that changed my life forever."
Writing about your loss helps you process it. Do not feel rushed or pressured to continue this nonfiction story if you are not ready for it. Let the Spirit move you.
I wish you comfort and creativity in the new year. I am sorry for your loss but am glad you shared your story. Thank you.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Andre,
This is just fiction. My husband is very much alive. Fortunately... I don't know what I'd do without him. I was inspired to write this story by a TV show I'm watching.
Thanks for reading and I'm sorry you believed this was real.
Comment from aryr
This was great to read Maria, I for one definitely hope that you do continue with at least another installment. It would be unfair not to learn what had caused Josh's death and a follow up of how she dealt with the children and their loss, with work and with life. It definitely stirred emotions and the ending left it so open and with so much mystery.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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This was great to read Maria, I for one definitely hope that you do continue with at least another installment. It would be unfair not to learn what had caused Josh's death and a follow up of how she dealt with the children and their loss, with work and with life. It definitely stirred emotions and the ending left it so open and with so much mystery.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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I'll try to keep on writing this, but I'm not sure how it'll progress.
Thanks for reading.
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You are so welcome, how about at least one more to tie up the loose ends.
Comment from MelB
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I can't imagine how hard that would be and to have to find it out at work. Well, now you have to finish the story. I don't know what happened to him.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I can't imagine how hard that would be and to have to find it out at work. Well, now you have to finish the story. I don't know what happened to him.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Fortunately this is fiction, Melissa. Like you, I can't imagine how hard that would be.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Oh my goodness, Maria. Firstly, my sympathies in the loss of your husband, if this is in fact a non-fiction story. It's listed as general fiction, so I'm not sure. I remember your daughter, Iris, so am guessing this is real.
Your story takes us through the normalcy of family life, breakfast, lunch prep, kids bickering and leaving for work with the peck of a partner.
Your ending...I can't even imagine. Having spent a day at the ER with my husband recently, and his heart acting up, this was all too real for me.
I wish you peace in the new year.
You've ended a few quotes with commas, instead of periods. Others with periods.
For consistency throughout, I would close the quotes with periods.
'I don't want a chicken sandwich, Dad. I've decided to become a vegetarian,' Emma said.
'Well, I guess you'll have to start tomorrow, sweetie,' he answered.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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Oh my goodness, Maria. Firstly, my sympathies in the loss of your husband, if this is in fact a non-fiction story. It's listed as general fiction, so I'm not sure. I remember your daughter, Iris, so am guessing this is real.
Your story takes us through the normalcy of family life, breakfast, lunch prep, kids bickering and leaving for work with the peck of a partner.
Your ending...I can't even imagine. Having spent a day at the ER with my husband recently, and his heart acting up, this was all too real for me.
I wish you peace in the new year.
You've ended a few quotes with commas, instead of periods. Others with periods.
For consistency throughout, I would close the quotes with periods.
'I don't want a chicken sandwich, Dad. I've decided to become a vegetarian,' Emma said.
'Well, I guess you'll have to start tomorrow, sweetie,' he answered.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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Hi Mary,
This is fortunately fiction. My husband is very much alive. I can't even bear the thought of it being true.
You're right. I have used my daughter's name. But the other two children have fictional names.
The rule with quotes is they end in a comma when followed by he said or similar and in a stop when not followed by anything.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from robyn corum
How sad. I wonder where this story came from. Sometimes I am as interested in the genus of the story as the story itself. *smile* Sometimes it tells a bit about us - like our dreams. Interesting! Thanks! And well told!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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How sad. I wonder where this story came from. Sometimes I am as interested in the genus of the story as the story itself. *smile* Sometimes it tells a bit about us - like our dreams. Interesting! Thanks! And well told!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
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Well, it's been inspired by a Tv show I like...
Thanks for reading.
