Comment from Heidi M

Excellent

My favorite line: 'Are you always this much trouble?'
I also liked the way you phrased 'the veil of time lifted'. The last line leaves the reader with a feeling of hope. They have all been through a lot, so hope is a good thing at this point.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thank you, Heidi. It is starting to wrap up, and most things will turn out well... ie, I'm not telling.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Nice work on this part, Rhonda. I enjoyed the rising tension from the first part, and the building action from the second.

Tabby opened the bathroom door and they all poured inside. --Suggest a comma after door.

Elizabeth and I know the players in this fight better than you, plus Nancy would kill us if we let you get hurt." --Recommend a semi-colon before plus instead of a comma. As I believe they complete a thought and are complete sentences.


The women were beautiful to the eye, but rotten inside, like an apple left too long on the tree. --I liked this description of comparing them to the apple, but I couldn't help but think of a couple things. One of which was a line from an old Sean Connery movie "The Untouchables" where he says, you want to avoid a rotten apple, don't pick one out of the barrel. You pick them from the trees. While you can use the tree analogy, I like the barrel better. Sorry, to go on and on about one particular line. Feel free to ignore, lol.

Happy New Year!
Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thank you, Russell, you are right on all counts. I appreciate the help.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

It looks like this battle is coming to an end, even though there's still plenty going on. I know I've said it before, but I do like this story.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thank you, Barbara! I'm always so glad for you to review. Your opinion means a lot to me.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from padumachitta

Excellent

Hi

nice to see where this is going
The dialogue works well...it gives us a great feel for the characters and sets a tone, nice touch there.
It will be good to see more of this

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017

Thank you, my friend. There isn't a lot left in the book, but there's a few chapters left. Thanks for the review@
Rhonda

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr

Excellent

Rhonda, this is an excellent chapter as always. Twisting turning plots and subplots with great dialogue between many different characters throughout this great story! Rhonda you do so well with writing this story with keeping it intriguing that makes me want to continue reading and does!

Well done my friend,,,,,,,,,, Jimmy

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Thank you for the wonderful review, my dear friend. I'm glad to see you this New Year's Day. Hope all your days are wonderful,
Rhonda

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, so nice to see another chapter! The suspense is building, as they open the window and plan an escape. I like Nancy's fight coming back.
A familiar metallic taste appeared in Nancy's mouth... the irrefutable mark of adrenaline - love this line!

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Thank you so much. I like your honest review, and telling me what works for you in it. Nancy's fight is finally returning! And good thing, as there are a lot of bad guys about to fight.

I appreciate your supporting this story all year.
Take care,
Rhonda

reply by MelB on 01-Jan-2017

I look forward to reading the fight:)

Comment from mbagby23

Excellent

Giving the background and telling us who each characters are gives me a better fill of the story. Not wondering where this person came from or who is that. Not getting lost either. I like where this is going. Leaves me wondering what is next. Like when we watch a tv show and have to wait a whole week to see what next.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Awww, thanks for the wonderful review. I first started posting this book at the beginning of last year, so it's a long way into the plot. I thought a refresher withing the actual text was probably in order. I'm glad you decided to read it!!

Rhonda

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. I wondered when you would proceed with more of this story. I find it interesting and have ben reading it from the start. This chapter is exceptionally good.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Thank you so much for keeping with the story. It's been going on for a year now, and is getting close to the finale. I'll post another chapter this week, as I have it already written. It was all one chapter and was way too long, so I broke it in two!!

Thanks for your amazing support!
Rhonda

Comment from Douglas Paul

Exceptional

Excellent chapter, my friend. I like seeing Nancy getting back into the action there at the end. Good action all around in this chapter. Happy New Year!!!

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Douglas, you are so sweet to grant the illusive 6 for this chapter. You started my year off with six shining stars of confidence!
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

Hi Rhonda, there is no way I cannot give you a six. It's so wonderfully written and so very vivid as well. The imagery is amazing, bringing it all to life. Looking forward to what's next. All the best. Ulla;)))

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017

Ulla, you are so sweet. You've always been supportive, and have kept up with this long book. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Rhonda