gordita princess
a sonnetino8 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
Second review (5 stars) Edits have been made and the rating upgraded. Good luck in the contest.
First review (4 stars)
This is a very nice poem on its own merit, but the ground rule in a Sonnetino is iambic pentameter. This is a metric structure with unstressed syllable following by the stressed. (da-DUM, da-DUM, da- DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM). There are 5 da-DUM's per line, as iambic pentameter has to be TEN syllables per line. In your poem lines very from 9 syllables to 11 syllables. 11 syllables are allowed in iambic pentameter sonnets (and a Sonnetino has great similarity to a sonnet) if you have a female syllable ending, which you have in your first line, so the first line is fine.
Suggestion (and this is only suggestion to bring the point across):
This beautiful woman, a diva divine,
she's loving her curves that did not define
a real zest for life, by her own design.
When falling in love, the twin spirits soared.
A Gordita princess, she was adored.
This has to be corrected before the contest deadline to qualify.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2016
  |
Second review (5 stars) Edits have been made and the rating upgraded. Good luck in the contest.
First review (4 stars)
This is a very nice poem on its own merit, but the ground rule in a Sonnetino is iambic pentameter. This is a metric structure with unstressed syllable following by the stressed. (da-DUM, da-DUM, da- DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM). There are 5 da-DUM's per line, as iambic pentameter has to be TEN syllables per line. In your poem lines very from 9 syllables to 11 syllables. 11 syllables are allowed in iambic pentameter sonnets (and a Sonnetino has great similarity to a sonnet) if you have a female syllable ending, which you have in your first line, so the first line is fine.
Suggestion (and this is only suggestion to bring the point across):
This beautiful woman, a diva divine,
she's loving her curves that did not define
a real zest for life, by her own design.
When falling in love, the twin spirits soared.
A Gordita princess, she was adored.
This has to be corrected before the contest deadline to qualify.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2016
-
Thanks for the review and very helpful advice. I was struggling with the duh de duh and now I understand it. I appreciate your valuable lesson today, cheers, j
-
It takes many people a while to get the da-DUM's (lol).
-
Cheers, now I am working on 'show don't tell'. Thanks again and wishing you a wonderful Christmas. judester
-
I created a thread about iambc pentameter in the contest.
-
I will check that out, thanks, j
Comment from country ranch writer
beauty as they say is in the eye of the behold and the painter of pictures each has its own minds eye as they say when displaying what she looks like
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
|
beauty as they say is in the eye of the behold and the painter of pictures each has its own minds eye as they say when displaying what she looks like
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
-
Thanks for the review. It is so important for woman to appreciate their size and looks. Some woman are beautiful physically yet constantly checking mirrors and unsure of their choices. I love a woman that owns her life and the men that appreciate them. Wishing you a warm and peaceful Christmas and all the best for the New Year, cheers, j
-
S M I L E S
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Is this about Divine? I am not sure if that is her name. She is (maybe she is dead) an actress and transexual.
In any case. I love your poem. It follows the format well and it has an awesome theme. You are right! Beauty comes in all sizes. :) I am a gordita and I am pretty darn cute. LoL
gypsy buddha blessings
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
|
Is this about Divine? I am not sure if that is her name. She is (maybe she is dead) an actress and transexual.
In any case. I love your poem. It follows the format well and it has an awesome theme. You are right! Beauty comes in all sizes. :) I am a gordita and I am pretty darn cute. LoL
gypsy buddha blessings
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
-
Haha no not about Divine,but all the big beautiful women out there happy in their skin and the men that appreciate them. I love a woman that owns her looks and size. Cheers, j ps go check po box and if not there I will send you another okay, it should have been there by now, and if it does arrive after, just send me a few of your beautiful cards, I love the skeltons. Will send to new address right? and a cool keychain this time. BB j
Comment from sanejane
I Googled "Gordita princess" and the first listing was "gordita princess by judester - fanstory.com." It was followed by a lot of porn sites! However, I now know what a gordita is - when it's not food. This is a lovely tribute to the wider woman. Ideal shape is dictated by fashion. It means little.
I hope you do well in the contest.
All the best,
Jane
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
|
I Googled "Gordita princess" and the first listing was "gordita princess by judester - fanstory.com." It was followed by a lot of porn sites! However, I now know what a gordita is - when it's not food. This is a lovely tribute to the wider woman. Ideal shape is dictated by fashion. It means little.
I hope you do well in the contest.
All the best,
Jane
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
-
I did not have porn in mind when I wrote this. Just all the beautiful big women that own their shape and the men that appreciate them. Cheers, j
-
It's OK, I know this wasn't about porn, but it seems that a lot of the porn sites use the word. I'm truly sorry if I gave the wrong impression.
-
ha ha, I know, at least I am on top of the list. The poem is not really aboutsize but the women that are happy with themselves. You see these beautiful girls and yet they are constantly checking themselves in the mirror and unsure. I love a woman that says "here I am, just the way I be! My husband left yesterday for christmas in Canada so it is 'party of one' here. I want to wish you a warm and peaceful Christmas and all the very best for the New Year. I believe we are kindred spirits. Cheers, judester
-
Kindred spirits with different lives...
Are you OK with spending Christmas alone? I think I would be, but I know that's not normal. All the best, Jane
-
Oh yeah I am fine. Going to town tomorrow to buy some goodies and treats, then just relax with my five dogs. I have a pork loin in brine all week so I will make a nice glazed ham. Not supposed to have potatoes on this keto diet, but I will cheat and make my famous scalloped potatoes. Then I will make a trifle with brandy and get a little tipsy, hic. Cheers, j
-
So, five dogs - what better company could you have? :)
Comment from JoAnn Forsberg
She is an artist within her soul and physical being. The zest for life, by her own design is a excellent visual of a person coming to peace with self. Whatever that self is in size and design. Blessings, Jo
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
|
She is an artist within her soul and physical being. The zest for life, by her own design is a excellent visual of a person coming to peace with self. Whatever that self is in size and design. Blessings, Jo
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
-
Exactly, not so much about the size, but the confidence and joy of their bodies. I love a woman that is confident and sure of herself as opposed to those constantly looking in the mirror and unsure of her choices. This is also for the men that appreciate us..... just the way we are, cheers, j
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for introducing this interesting form. I love the theme. Yes, cultural standards of beauty are so superficial. I also rejoice when I see a woman who doesn't fit that standard but fully feels her self-worth and is made to feel beautiful.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
|
Thanks for introducing this interesting form. I love the theme. Yes, cultural standards of beauty are so superficial. I also rejoice when I see a woman who doesn't fit that standard but fully feels her self-worth and is made to feel beautiful.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
-
Thanks for the insightful review. It's funny because you see a thin pretty girl and she is complaining and adjusting herself constantly, then you see a full figured woman so full of confidence and positivity and we are pushed to think the pretty girl is attractive? I love that we come in so many shapes and sizes. Your circus..... your monkeys, haha Cheers, j
Comment from rjuselius
it is a shame how getting older lessens your charm. yet not definitely your charisma. your poem speaks volumes on the past days foregone.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
|
it is a shame how getting older lessens your charm. yet not definitely your charisma. your poem speaks volumes on the past days foregone.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
-
How true. I much prefer to talk with older women than this younger generation. I love a woman that is comfortable with her shape and life, and I bet there is someone looking for exactly that. Thanks for the review, cheers, j
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Sonnetino. We all are unique creatures. Our beauty of our existence come from within, and not what others see with their eyes.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
|
A very well-written Sonnetino. We all are unique creatures. Our beauty of our existence come from within, and not what others see with their eyes.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
-
Exactly, I love the fact we come in all shapes and sizes. I love it when others appreciate and cherish this unique beauty too, Thanks for the review Sandra, cheers, j
